


Of Nights and Stardust

by LadyNovaJade



Series: Across the Galaxy [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Like REAL slow burn, Picks up after The Last Jedi, Poe gets smitten real quick though, Romance, Slow Burn, and BB-8 is a matchmaker, enemies to lovers in a way, smut in later chapters, some mentions of violence and torture, while Leia is a perfect Space Mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-07 21:17:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 77,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14679687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNovaJade/pseuds/LadyNovaJade
Summary: What remains of the Resistance is fighting for survival. With a bit of hope, General Leia Organa sends re-instated Commander Poe Dameron on his most important mission to date — track down the location of an unknown former Rebel base to hide and rebuild ranks.This base is known to only one person, however; a former Republic and Resistance pilot, Jayah Kryal. But Kryal has been missing for years, having disappeared after almost losing her life in a failed mission. With a little bit of luck and charm, it is Poe’s task to find Kryal and convince her to take him to the base.But, as is always the case for Poe, things are way more complicated than they seem. Thrown together after a series of unforeseen events, Poe and Jayah begin to realize they have more in common than either expected. And the longer they spend time together, the more they can’t deny the connection they share.





	1. Prologue: General’s Council

It was a small council — not exactly teeming with the eager Resistance and Rebel fighters she was used to speaking to. Oddly, what she was about to propose to the small group before her felt more momentous than other orders and rallying cries she had delivered. And this time she was sitting not standing, feeling exhausted and using the mapping table to help prop herself up.

The young, dark-eyed pilot leaning against the other side of the circular table kept darting his gaze over to her between surveying the others in their group. She wanted to snap at him to knock it off — she wasn’t a damn fragile flower. She was just tired. Tired of taking one step forward and having the First Order push them back five. But she kept herself in check; she knew what he was thinking, knew he was concerned but smart enough not to question her. He reminded her of Han in that way.

General Leia Organa sighed heavily and sat up straight from leaning against her own hand. She couldn’t delve down memory lane at the moment. Thoughts of Han would have to wait…

“We’re on borrowed time,” she spoke, her voice more hoarse than she would have liked when addressing those left under her command. “We need a base where the First Order will not find us. Or at least one that hides us for long enough to let word spread and ranks build.”

“We’re scouring nearby quadrants,” Kaydel Ko Connix spoke up, her voice soft yet firm. “There’s a few that could hide us for a week or so…”

Leia’s mouth pulled into a frown, “Unfortunately we need to forgo those as viable solutions and focus on long term.”

“You have somewhere in mind already,” the dark-eyed pilot chirped knowingly from the other side of the table.

The General drug in a deep breath, “As a matter of fact, Commander, I do. But it won’t be easy to navigate or find.”

Poe Dameron smiled, one that was charming and Leia knew disarmed a fair share of fellow Resistance fighters when he flashed it their way. “Never stopped us before, General,” he said.

She smiled as well, but ruefully. “There is a rumored former Rebel base located on an uninhabited planet on the very edge of the Outer Rim. It was held top secret for years — I had only heard stories of it. After the end of the Galactic War, the need to know its whereabouts went from very few to no one,” Leia started, breathing deeply. “The good news is I know someone who has been to this hidden planet; or rather she stumbled upon it with her squadron. She is a former pilot of the Republic fleet named Jayah Kryal. Though I don’t know if we can count on her help.”

“So who ever goes needs to be charming, huh?” Snap Wexley joked, pulling a few soft chuckles from the others. Leia pursed her lips — he was more right than he knew.

“It needs to be a pilot with a good head on their shoulders. Kryal’s last known location was in the Felucia system, which would be hard to navigate in the best of situations. My sources have told me Kryal is holed up on one of unexplored moons; Felucia VI, we believe. It’s a jungle atmosphere prone to horrible storms, which means you may not get in or out quickly,” she explained.

The small group, the rest of the “fleet” under her charge, did not look terrified by her explanation. Which made this decision all the more worse. The General sighed and stood, looking around the table at them, her eyes landing on Poe. Each of them knew what she would say next, but that didn’t mean she could get away with not saying it aloud.

Not one to shirk from it, Leia held her head high, “Well? Who’s going to admit to being a reckless pilot with charm?”

They all looked at one another … except for Poe. He looked straight at her, already accepting that which she hadn’t even asked of him yet. Leia felt a pain in her chest; acceptance and duty radiated from him like a beacon in the night. It had to be him. Not to test his resolve, but to heal his mind.

“Commander Dameron,” she said with as much resolve in her voice as she could muster. “You’ll suit up. Fly out first thing in the morning.”

“General, we only have one working X-Wing we’ve been able to secure,” Kaydel said, looking between her and Poe with a tad uncertainty. “And if Felucia VI’s weather is as bad as you say, I don’t know if even Poe can fly it in.”

“Then I suggest we spent tonight getting it ready,” Leia said, meeting Poe’s gaze. “It’s the only shot we’ve got.”


	2. Chapter 1: The Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I was gonna post every other day ... but I couldn't wait. Plus a prologue really isn't a chapter anyway sooooo :) 
> 
> Thanks to those who left kudos and comments! Please please keep them coming, I really appreciate it! xoxo

Poe Dameron was glad to be out of the tunnel of hyperspace. He wasn’t sure the last time he thought that … during a transport maybe? Or right before the Battle of Takodana? Probably.

As the stars around him became still and Felucia came into view, he finally felt calmer. This mission was possibly the most important he had been handed to date — track down a former pilot and locate a hidden Rebel base to help rebuild Resistance forces. After everything that had happened in the last few weeks, it was a mission Poe needed.

The years he had spent in the Republic Navy and now the Resistance had seen him to all corners of the galaxy, and each venture had been important in different ways. But after the events of a few weeks ago — the destruction of nearly all of the Resistance — Poe felt a sense of loss he couldn’t quite explain. And a horrible guilt that he had somehow caused an irreversible chain of events that found them where they were …

He had not breathed a word of it to anyone, this guilt. He locked it deep down and focused on what was important; getting his friends and comrades to safety and coming up with a plan to rebuild. To continue to fight. But all the while, Vice Admiral Holdo’s soft voice echoed in his head. 

_Trigger-happy flyboy. Reckless, impulsive. The last thing we need._

Poe rolled his shoulders, his body pressing against the straps of his seat. Focus, Dameron, he chided himself. Now was not a time to think about his redemption. If he was going to get that, he had to remain on task.

The astromech droid sitting behind him — his faithful companion BB-8 — beeped enthusiastically, noting the space surrounding the planet and moons continued to be free of any monitoring from the First Order. Poe let out a breath of relief — another good sign.

“That’s great, buddy. Let’s get around to the moon and land this ship, what do you say?” he asked.  

BB-8 chimed in an approval and Poe guided the ship around Felucia toward the sixth moon. Scans came back indicating a storm was brewing in the location he was to land, which was not ideal, but a little weather never scared him. Sometimes the wind could get hairy back home on Yavin IV and he had never had trouble managing that.

As he navigated the X-Wing through the atmosphere and toward the moon’s surface, the wind slammed into the ship at a force Poe definitely had not expected. “Hang on back there, BB-8!” he called out in comms, staying calm and continuing to guide the X-Wing toward the drop down point.

There was no rain, yet, which he was silently thankful for. Looking down at the swaying trees and brush of the surface would have been ten times harder with rain pelting the cockpit shield. With BB-8 monitoring systems and possible surrounding life forms, Poe was able to pour all of his concentration into getting the damn ship on the ground in one piece.

The wind kicked them up once, BB-8 whistling in slight fear as it happened, and Poe couldn’t help but smile, “It’s alright, buddy. I’ve got it. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

BB-8’s answer made it clear the droid didn’t exactly agree with him. The pilot just smiled, “You could do with having a bit of faith. I’ve gotten us down in worse, you know.”

After a bit of wrangling through some wind bursts and up drafts, Poe finally touched down, BB-8 sighing in relief. Poe wouldn’t admit aloud he also felt happy to be done with that. The two climbed out — well, BB-8 dropped out — and the first thing Poe noted once putting his boots on the ground was how damn hot it was, even with the wind whipping around him. And though the jungle reminded him a bit of home, he had to admit it was much thicker than Yavin IV. He immediately reached for the zipper of his flight suit, pulling it down to his waist.

BB-8 rolled over, curiously asking where they were to start looking for Jayah Kryal. Poe sighed, tying the arms of his flight suit around his waist and peeling off his leather jacket underneath. “Well, the General said Kryal was thought to be in this vancinty of the moon,” he started, tossing the jacket back in the cockpit. He then put his hands on his hips and surveyed the jungle around them. “I say we do some scans, try to look for a path or anything this former pilot may be using.”

The droid beeped, whirling its head around as it noted there was a lot of ground to cover.

“Yeah, but I have a feeling we’re going to get lucky. If we just keep our eyes open, we’ll find Kyral in no time,” he said.

After Poe had secured his blaster, made sure the X-Wing was closed up and wouldn’t blow away, and grabbed his comm device, the two set off through the jungle, following BB-8’s tracking scans. The wind wasn’t as vicious as it had been higher up, but it still created enough of a nuisance for Poe to find himself irritated by it very quickly. Thankfully, BB-8 rolled along without any complaints about the weather affecting its scans.

As they trekked through the growth, the wind rushing loudly and throwing out the possibility of hearing anything else, Poe wondered if they truly would be able to get Kryal to help them. Something in the back of his mind told him it wasn’t going to be easy. Leia had warned Poe Kryal wouldn’t be a walk in the park to find — or to deal with — and the young pilot had a feeling he had his work cut out for him in that regard.

_“She’s stubborn, and I don’t mean that lightly,’ Leia said, walking around the mapping table where Felucia VI floated before them. “When Jayah made her mind up, she saw it through.”_

_“Reminds me of someone else I know,” Poe answered in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit. He knew the current situation weighed heavy on the General’s mind, not to mention the decision to send him out looking for Kryal was not one she came to lightly._

_Leia looked up sharply but then sighed, her face melting into a rueful smile, “Jayah has nothing on me, but she always did give me a run for my credits.”_

_Poe tapped in a few commands to the computer, saving key points to a drive stick for BB-8. “How else would you describe her?” He kept his voice light and hoped it didn’t bother Leia. He knew it was a strange question, but he justified it with the thought of if he was to find this woman, he needed to know more about her._

_When Poe finally looked up and met Leia’s gaze, the General was giving him a small smile as if she knew something he didn’t. “The stubbornness of course gives her a strong will. She’s brave to a fault, and loyal — fiercely loyal.”_

_“So why did she leave the Republic?” he asked curiously, studying the schematics of the moon floating before him._

_“Because I asked her to,” Leia replied easily. “But also because she saw very early what was happening.” That was when she looked at him in such a way that Poe made sure to pay attention to her next words. “Her experience mirrors yours in a way. She lost fellow squadron members and the truth fell on deaf ears in the Republic Senate.”_

_He hung his head, feeling his chest tighten. The memories of when Muran was killed came flooding back with a force that made him grip the edge of the mapping table tightly. Muran, who had been one of his best pilots in Rapier, but couldn’t outrun a hyperspace wave. Muran, who had such a quiet humor and fierce loyalty in life, but was ignored by those he fought for in death. Muran, who had been a brother, family …_

_“She flew for the Resistance?” Poe asked quietly, trying to pull himself away from the grief that still lingered._

_Leia chuckled, “Oh, she demanded it. After her service in a few missions, I made her a commander.”_

_They were silent for a few moments as they took in the information and the muffled sounds of those meandering around their small refuge base._

_“What happened to her?” Poe was almost afraid to voice the question._

_Leia sighed heavily, “What happens to us all, in the end,” she answered cryptically._

BB-8’s beeps pulled Poe out of his daze and back to the moment — there was movement in the brush. The pilot ducked out of sight behind a type of fern that was large enough to hide him, motioning BB-8 to follow and to be quiet. They waited in silence and Poe chanced a look to see the fairly large creature move past them.

He couldn’t quite describe what the thing was, but by the look of the claws on its paws, Poe wasn’t too keen to find out more at that moment. He and BB-8 stayed hidden for an extra minute after the animal passed; when they emerged, the little droid whistled in relief. Poe could only nod.

So maybe finding Kryal quickly was going to be a bit more difficult than he originally admitted. Not that he wasn’t taking the mission seriously, far from it. The survival of the Resistance and its ability to recruit more fighters depended on him finding this base so the General could re-establish command, far out of the reach of the First Order. He did not intend to fail.

The duo continued on their trek, BB-8 disappearing in the brush ahead of Poe, which caused a few worrying moments. “BB-8, you’re making this a little bit more difficult for me than it needs to be,” Poe muttered, pushing through the vegetation.

Coming out the other side into a small patch of ground free of trees and tall plants, he looked around and noticed the droid was nowhere in sight. Holding still and listening as the wind whipped around him, it occurred to Poe that someone or something could be lurking, watching him, and he wouldn’t even know it. A hand slowly crept to the hilt of his blaster.

“BB-8?” he called out slowly.

Something wasn’t right. The hairs on the back of Poe’s neck stood up on end and trusting his instincts, he started to turn as he drew his blaster. He wasn’t as quick as he liked to brag, unfortunately. He made it one step in his turn before he felt a fairly sharp point of a blade in the middle of his back; whoever holding it pressed just enough into him to make him wince uncomfortably as his attacker forced him to his knees.

“Get your hand off your blaster,” a gargled, electronic voice demanded behind him.

Poe’s brow crinkled in confusion and when he tried to turn to see his attacker, the blade pushed again and he stayed forward, slowly pulling both of his hands up for the figure to see. “Easy, no reason to get pushy with that thing,” he said.

“Who are you?” the voice asked, giving nothing away as to who or what it was.

Poe swallowed hard, turning his face slightly, “I’m just a pilot. I’m lost and was forced to land.”

“No one gets lost in the Felucian system,” the figure replied. “Tell me who you are.”

“Look, I gotta say, it’s hard to answer you with that voice and the knife in my back,” Poe smarted off.

The knife twisted and he hissed. “I won’t ask you again,” the figure threatened.

In the few seconds he knew he had to answer, Poe weighed his options. If he lied again, he could possibly end up being stabbed. If he told this figure the truth though, he could also get stabbed.

“Five seconds,” the figure warned and Poe grimaced as the tip of the knife stung.

“All right, all right!” he relented. “I am a pilot, I’m not lying. I’m here looking for a contact who has information I need.”

“Information on what?” the figure inquired.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” his mouth ran off again, because honestly, the blade was starting to become more than just a pain and this _thing_ , what or whoever it was, continued to waste his time.

A small hand grabbed a fist full of his hair roughly and tugged back. Poe cried out indignantly as the figure leaned over him — upside down, this was the first look the pilot had of his attacker and he couldn’t see kriffing shit. A cloak covered most of it, but he could make out a mechanical looking mask over the lower part of the face. He wrinkled his brow in confusion — who was this thing?

Even though Poe couldn’t see its eyes, he could tell the figure was studying him intently. Probably trying to figure out if he was lying — he hoped whoever this was wasn’t a good mind reader. After a moment, it spoke again.

“Who sent you? What is your mission?” the gargled voice came out softly, calmly.

Poe swallowed hard, straining against the hold on his head, “No one sent me. I told you …”

The knife pressed in the hardest yet, and he knew it probably broke skin. He ground his teeth together to keep out the yelp of pain he felt.

“Who are you with?!”

Poe let out a huff of air, the middle of his back where the knife rested burning and growing hotter with the pain. He had endured worse before, and he was willing to go through it again. But Leia had warned him — Kryal would not give in easily. He had to play the right cards to get her to open up. If this figure _was_ Kryal or knew where she was, he had to give a little something to find out.

“I’m a Resistance pilot,” he caved. “We are searching for information located on a planet. Our general said it’s known only to a few, including a former Republic fighter. That’s who I’m here looking for.”

It wasn’t the _complete_ truth. Leia didn’t say to give away everything.

Poe was surprised to feel the figure’s pressure into the knife lessen and its grip on his hair immediately gone. He couldn’t stop the small breath of relief that passed his lips as the tension slacked; it wasn’t the response he was expecting, but it was good enough.

The figure leaned down, it’s mechanical voice grating in his ear, “I’m the only living person here and I’m no Republic fighter. So one last time, who sent you?”

Poe took a chance to attempt to bolt, but the knife and the grip on his hair again halted him. He didn’t answer — he was not going to give up that Leia Organa sent him until he knew he was face to face with Jayah Kryal. Leia told him he may have to use her name, but he said he wouldn’t do it. Not until he has no other option …

The figure pressed back in with the knife, harder than before and the shock of it caused him to groan loudly in pain.

“Who!?”

Well, if there was ever a time for him to play the kriffing card …

“Leia!” he gasped out, glaring up at the figure. “Leia Organa.”

The figure didn’t move at all, and if it weren’t for the fact that it keep pushing a damn blade in his back and held his head, Poe would have thought it had slipped away at hearing the General’s name.

But just as quickly as the whole crazy attack began, the pressure in his back disappeared and the figure pushed his head away. Leaning forward, he let out a hard breath and heard the figure step away from him. Part of him hoped it got lost in the jungle.

He couldn’t be that lucky of course.

“On your feet, flyboy,” the voice crackled. Poe turned to look at the figure fully, covered from head to toe in the cloak. It turned from him, “Follow me.”

Poe slowly stood, reaching under his shirt and up his back to see if blood was pouring down his skin from the hole the figure had driven into him. When his hand came back, it held only a spot of red. Still hurt like a son of a …

“Why would I do that?” he asked, his tone hard as he turned to the figure. It was shorter than he would have thought. As he bent down, dusting off his pants and waiting for the figure to answer, BB-8 came whirling out of the jungle behind him, skidding to a stop.

The only acknowledgement from the figure was a slight downtilt of its head toward the droid. BB-8 beeped questioningly, looking back to Poe. He honestly couldn’t think of an answer.

The figure either did not understand binary or just decided it did not have an answer for the droid either, because it turned and disappeared into the brush. Poe stood still, sighing heavily. He could follow, hoping this figure would get him to his destination and not kill him. Or he could head back the opposite way with BB-8.

“You can stay out here and drown, if you like,” the figure’s mangled, robotic voice called back.

Poe pulled a face, “Drown?” he asked out loud, looking down to BB-8.

As the droid beeped softly that it didn’t understand the phrase either, thunder cracked so loudly above them, BB-8 squeaked in surprise and Poe jumped slightly. The skies opened up, a curtain of rain poured over him. _Just great …_


	3. Chapter 2: Jayah Kryal

BB-8 whirled in distress and raced off along the path the figure disappeared down. Sighing heavily, Poe realized they had no choice now. They had to follow. He jogged after them, pushing through the leaves and brush to catch sight of his droid and his former capturer. They kept winding and twisting around trees and ferns in the harsh rain and Poe started to worry the figure truly was leading them into a trap or worse.

To his relief, the jungle seemed to thin out, opening up to something that resembled a small clearing with tall grass filling the area. Toward the edge of the far tree line, Poe spotted a small hut structure, domed and seeming to just barely peek out from the grass from a distance. As the figure and BB-8 dashed ahead of him, the pilot paused, taking a moment to assess where they were and possible ways for escape if they needed to. He hated how he had no clear direction back to his X-Wing; he had a vague idea, but not enough to give him comfort.

_Nothing to do for it now, Dameron,_ he thought to himself. He was soaked through and getting more so as he stood there. The air had a deep chill now, compared to the horrid heat from earlier. So he took off toward the hut and its welcoming smoke crawling from the chimney and warm glow in the window.

When Poe cleared the tall grass, he was just in time to see the figure strode into the small dwelling, BB-8 right on its heels to get out of the rain. When he came to the doorway, he paused and peered inside to catch a glimpse of what he was getting himself into. His hand came to the hilt of his blaster out of pure instinct, one foot tentatively crossing the threshold.

BB-8 came rushing back, beeping impatiently for Poe to come inside and close the door; didn’t he want to get out of the rain? The pilot pursed his lips and nodded as an answer to the droid before stepping inside completely. For better or worse, they were here now. And hopefully, whoever this figure was would do more good than harm.

As he shut the door, he took his time to look about the one-room home. It was bare, which was somehow surprising to him and he was not exactly sure why. Most of what his eyes landed on were necessary items — things one would expect to see for surviving alone on a jungle planet with unpredictable weather. There was nothing personal to give Poe a clue as to who he was now a guest of — just basic items he would find in any hut, on any world, in any part of the galaxy.

Feeling a bit more at ease, Poe ventured a step or two more inside. The figure was at the far side of the large room, back to him, as it obviously unburdened itself of the weapons and various things it carried. He blinked in surprise at seeing the two blasters it sat down. Finally, the figure flicked the hood of its cloak back and began to slip off the outer garment. Poe watched curiously as he was greeted with a woman’s figure — an athletic average build covered in a tunic cinched at her waist by a belt and light colored leggings — which also surprised him.

He saw now she wore a mask over her face, which he would bet 100 credits contained a voice changer, giving her the peculiar tone he was subjected to earlier. As she pulled it off, Poe could see her hair was long and pulled back in a simple bun, glowing a gold, rosy color in the firelight. As she continued to move about, she would only turn her face slightly, preventing him from catching more than a glimpse of the profile of her face.

He was becoming impatient with her making him wait; storm or not, he and BB-8 had to get some ground made that night. The more they waited around, the less likely there were going to find Kryal and get off planet in one piece.

Finally, after the long, awkward moment, the woman turned to him fully, putting a hand on her hip as she assessed him. He was taken back for a full 30 seconds as he was hit with her stare — for some reason, it reminded him of when he first met Leia, how the General didn’t stare at him, but more like she saw inside him.

Poe squared his shoulders and looked right back, refusing to cower or give her the impression that he was intimidated by her.

She appeared to be around his age — definitely early 30s. Her eyes struck him hard; they were a clear blue, the same color of the skies of Yavin IV after a cleansing rain. Her face was round and, if he were going to be completely honest with himself, she looked quite lovely and attractive. Her face would appear welcoming, he figured, if it weren’t for the deep scowl on her features directed at him.

“What?” she demanded. Even though her voice held an edge, he admitted to himself it was a hell of a lot better than the mechanical tone from the mask. “Were you expecting something else?”

Yes, was the immediate response that came to his lips, but he bit it back. Other than that, Poe realized he couldn’t really form a good response that wouldn’t make him feel like an idiot. So he did the next best thing — he shut his mouth and shrugged nonchalantly.

The action caused his host to scoff softly and look down as BB-8 rolled up to her and beeped curiously. He watched as the scowl melted from her face and she gave the droid a soft, but curious look of her own. Poe couldn’t help but note her reaction was natural when it came to the round droid. His lips turned up in a small smile.

BB-8 relayed a question to her and the woman’s brow furrowed, “He says you’re looking for me,” she said, looking back up at Poe. “I very much doubt that.”

Poe made himself relax a bit, to be charming like Leia instructed him to be. “I’m looking for Jayah Kryal, a former Republic pilot who knows the location of a base important to the Resistance’s survival,” he explained.

Once more, she stared at Poe for what seemed like an unusual amount of time and he wasn’t exactly sure why. As opposed to the scowl from before, she looked at him blankly now, as if she was trying to figure out answers from him by just staring.

Poe fidgeted, not exactly being comfortable with her eyes on him suddenly. “Are you going to say anything?” he asked sarcastically. “Did you fall asleep and just keep your eyes open?”

If his attitude bugged her, she didn’t show it. She simply shook her head and looked away from him, “I can’t help you.”

He blinked once, then again as he looked at BB-8 who still was by her side. The droid rolled over to the pilot and chirped sorrowfully at Poe, asking why the woman wouldn’t help them.

Poe drew in a deep breath and put his hands on his hips, “I don’t know, buddy,” he whispered, feeling a tinge of frustration. He looked back to the woman and moved another step forward to address her, “Is Kryal here?”

The woman swallowed hard and turned her back to him, beginning to fiddle with something in front of her. “You’re looking at her, flyboy.”

Hearing her answer caused a sense of relief to wash over Poe. Finding Kryal was the important first step in locating the former Rebel base. Feeling a rush of excitement and urgency, he quickly moved closer to her, “That’s … that’s great! I’m Poe, Poe Dameron. I’m a commander in the General’s fleet.”

She didn’t turn to him and he continued. “We don’t have time to waste, we have to get to the Kaladrian system to track down this base. General Organa says you know its location. The First Order is on our heels and …”

It was at that moment that Kryal turned to him, holding up her hand which startled Poe to a stop mid-sentence. After a moment of quiet, she took a deep breath. “I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care who sent you and what mission you have. I’m not doing it.”  

Poe stared at her hard for a few moments, his eyes narrowing in an attempt to figure out if she truly was serious. When she offered nothing more, he felt taken aback by confusion. “What do you … You do realize the First Order is tracking what’s left of Leia’s command?” he demanded. “They will kill all of us, they won’t …”

Kryal interrupted him again with another shake of her head. She turned and spoke softly, “You all knew what you signed up for.”

Poe gaped at her, completely floored by her nonchalance at the prospect of Resistance fighters being hunted and killed. Didn’t she used to be one of them? Leia said Kryal had been fiercely loyal, but Poe started to wonder if that hadn’t been all a lie. “So, what? You sympathize with the First Order now? Have you become a traitor?” he accused, feeling his voice growl in the back of his throat.

The glare she turned toward him made BB-8 squeak by his side. “I have no soft spot for _anyone_ in the First Order,” she said lowly, a dark tone of her own lacing her voice. “They could burn for all I care.”

But Poe was not deterred by her obvious distain. “Oh, so then you’re just scared,” he accused, crossing his arms over his chest. How could _this_ woman be the one Leia thought would help them? The brave, intelligent, fierce woman the General described to him; a woman she obviously trusted, even after her departure from the Resistance.

Her attitude toward their plight, to his _mission_ , angered him in a way he hadn’t expected. It was so frustrating! To make matters worse, her response to his accusation of fear was to simply chuckle.

“Trust me, Commander. I’ve been accused of worse,” she informed him simply.

Just like that, she had rejected his plea. Poe opened his mouth once, unable to think of anything to say, her response angered him so much. So instead, he scoffed and looked down to BB-8. The droid beeped softly, unable to help the pilot come up with an answer either. Poe’s frustration boiled quickly — how dare she? Kryal didn’t even look _sorry_ that she so quickly refused to help.

Finally, he found his voice. “Well, sweetheart, your cowardice is damn near inexcusable in my book,” he said through gritted teeth.

If she picked up on his anger, she didn’t show it. She simply pulled a pot from the floor and set it up on the table, “That’s your opinion, Commander. But if you wish to stay here this evening, you’d be wise to cut out the insults.”

Poe scoffed again, “If you don’t plan to help us, I won’t waste any more of your _precious_ time. BB-8 and I will be leaving,” he said curtly, turning and making his way to the door. BB-8 took the hint as well and turned to roll after the pilot, beeping worriedly about leaving so quickly.

“Not tonight you aren’t,” Kryal said simply.

The audacity of her words had him jerking to a stop at the door. He turned back, eyes narrowing at the woman who nonchalantly went about her business. He stormed back toward her, “Excuse me?” he asked. “Do you mean to keep _us_ hostage?”

Kryal chuckled, turning from throwing different ingredients into the pot to look at him. It irked him even more. “Not in the slightest,” she answered. “However, you were barely able to land that piece of junk X-Wing in decent weather. If you listen,” and here she paused, pointing toward the nearby window with the knife in her hand, “That is a good ol’ Felucian storm. I don’t care how good of a pilot you claim you are, you won’t make it off the surface in this.”

The comment made Poe bristle. “I can fly anything, _in any_ situation,” he rebuked.

Kryal’s face became serious, “Not in this you can’t.”

They stared at one another for a long moment, neither breaking face. Finally, Kryal sighed heavily, “You can either stay here and be civil, or weather it out in your ship and hope you make it the night.”

At this information, BB-8 rolled back to Poe’s side. The droid beeped softly and not without a twinge of concern that it thought they should listen to Kryal. Poe knew the little droid was right, but that didn’t mean he wanted to admit it outloud. So, instead, he sighed and rolled his eyes as he turned back to the door again. “If I have to stay, then I need my gear,” he said for no particular reason.

“Then you’ll need this,” Kryal called, stopping him again. As he turned, she tossed him her heavy cloak from earlier. Her lips were turned in a mocking sort of smirk as he caught it and looked at her in confusion. “To keep your pretty little head dry, flyboy,” she added.

Poe clenched his jaw, forcing himself to not say anything before he pulled the cloak on and stomped out the door. “BB-8, stay here and keep an eye on her,” he said a bit more harshly than he intended.

The droid beeped sadly from the doorway, causing Poe to stop and turn back. “Sorry, buddy. Just … make sure she doesn’t try anything weird, okay? Please?” he asked.

BB-8 whirled its assent and turned back into the hut, using a few choice words as it tersely beeped back for Poe to be careful.

“I don’t know who taught you that language, but it wasn’t me,” the pilot commented with a little smile.

If BB-8 had eyes to roll, Poe was sure the astromech would have done it just then.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

The rain had let up enough that Poe wasn’t drowning in a downpour. That was a plus. But the harsh wind whipped the misting precipitation sideways hard enough that he was forced to hold the hood of the cloak tight around his face. Not a plus.

The tracking device in his hand thankfully wasn’t affected by the winds either, leading him back to his X-Wing in about 30 minutes. If BB-8 asked later, Poe already decided he wasn’t going to tell the droid he got turned around once.

The ship sat silently in one piece, and he wondered what the big deal was about the storms here. X-Wings were not fragile things; a little wind didn’t hurt him landing, why would it be a big deal taking off?

Poe pushed the thoughts and questions from his mind. The quicker he got through this all the better. He would touch base with the General and then, after Kryal fell asleep, he and BB-8 would make their getaway. As he climbed the ladder and opened the cockpit shield, Poe sighed heavily — he had hoped to have better news for Leia. For everyone really. But Kryal’s refusal put a wrench in the plans.

“We’ll just have to find another way then,” he said to himself as he lowered down into the pilot seat and sealed the cockpit shut.

Settling his mind, Poe picked up his comm link and turned it on, “This is Black Leader, calling in.”

He shifted in the seat, looking out the window panes at the rain, the wind whipping the trees, and the sky continuing to grow darker. After a few minutes, a cackled answer came back, “Black Leader, this is Echo Hope Base 1. Nice to hear your voice, Poe,” Kaydel’s voice came through, sounding full of the relief he felt too. They were still safe — the First Order had not found them yet.

“Right back at you, Kaydel. I wish I could tell you all about the fascinating vistas of Felucia VI, but I need to talk to the General and quickly,” he responded.

Kaydel paused, “Did something go wrong? Is Kryal not there?” she asked softly.

Poe took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair, “Is the General there?”

“I’m here, Commander Dameron,” Leia’s strong voice came through. “I take it you landed safely on the moon?”

He nodded, even though he knew Leia couldn’t see, “Yeah. Hell of place, Felucia VI. Winds are a particular highlight.”

His tone gave him away, he knew it. But dammit, he couldn’t help it. Leia sent him because she trusted him to do the job, complete the mission. He was supposed to be charming and smart and able to do what she asked. Not have this, this _coward_ reject his plea with a laugh.

“I have a feeling things are not going to plan,” Leia said softly, interrupting his thoughts.

“That’s putting it mildly,” Poe said to the cabin before he pressed the button on comms. “Hit a bit of a bump. Guess I’m not as charming as you figured, General.”

“So Jayah is alive and well, then?” she asked, and he didn’t miss the bit of laughter in her voice.

Now he rolled his eyes, picking at the control panel. “I can report she is alive and as stubborn as you described.”

Now Leia did chuckle through the comm, “That’s good. And the location of Kaladria base?”

Poe pinched the bridge of his nose, “Permission to speak freely, General?”

“As if you ever asked permission before,” Leia answered.

“Okay, that’s true, but …” he stopped, not sure if he should continue and waiting for her to prompt him.

“Get on with what you really want to say, Poe.”

Poe took a moment. “She’s a damn coward. She flat out refused to help in any way. And better yet, she acted as if she could have cared less that the First Order was rising to power. Said we all knew what we were getting into like, like we kriffing deserve it!”

There was a silence after that made him wipe a hand down his face. _Okay, so that was too much,_ he thought.

When Leia came back on comms, her voice was somber, “I have to admit, I had a feeling that this would happen.”

He wasn’t expecting that. “Wait, you did?” he asked.

“Yes, unfortunately. That’s why I wanted to send you. You have an ability to get people to see the positive or at least have some hope,” she replied. “I had  _hoped_ you would be able to change her mind, Poe.”

At that he scoffed, “I’m a pilot, Leia, not a miracle worker.”

The General chuckled ruefully, “You mean to tell me the roguish Commander Dameron failed to charm even a little bit of help from Jayah Kryal?”

Again, Poe rolled his eyes. “I don’t think she could be charmed even if she _wanted_ to be. I mean … she is nothing like you described, Leia. That loyalty, bravery … what happened that could change that?”

He received no response right away. Again, the thought he had went too far by speaking his frustration briefly fluttered across his mind. A deep breath passed his lips and he prepped to apologize when the comms cackled with sound once more.

“I know you’re still upset, Poe,” Leia said gently. “A lot has happened in the last few weeks.”

Poe pursed his lips and dropped his head; the words were vague, but it was what she didn’t say that made his chest ache. How he had ignored her orders and they lost the bomber squadron. Risking Finn and Rose, and BB-8. Leading a mutiny in the middle of fleeing for their lives. It wasn’t until the blast door cracked open on Craite that Leia’s words finally sunk into Poe’s thick skull.

Sometimes sacrificing the fight was more important. Dying a hero got you nowhere.

When the 50 of them who survived found an abandoned base to hide on, to lick their wounds and regroup, Poe sought out a corner far away from everyone. He dropped the act, dropped the unwavering smile, and punched a wall. Then he kicked a chair. Away from the survivors, Poe allowed himself to lose his control. He yelled, he destroyed the rotting equipment, and then he stood in silence, chest heaving as he surveyed what he had done. With nothing left, the pilot slid to the floor and cried.

He had deserved to be demoted. Really, he deserved a lot worse. All the mistakes he had tallied because of foolishness … being a trigger-happy flyboy.

But despite all that, Poe knew he could hold his head high because he had not run from his responsibility. He did not slink away; he owned it and vowed to be better. Stronger. Wiser. Sitting in the back of that abandoned base on a Force-forsaken planet, Poe made a vow to be what Leia needed as the Resistance fought to survive.

“I would never hide,” he said lowly. “I would never abandon the Resistance.”

“You’ve very much proven that,” Leia responded, a note of fondness in her voice.

He sighed again, leaning forward and diving a hand into his hair. _But what happened will haunt me the rest of my life,_ he thought.

“Poe,” Leia said, and even though she wasn’t there, he felt a calm wash over him as she went on. “When you lost so many in Rapier squad that it pushed you to leave the Republic fleet and come to the Resistance, do you remember how that loss felt?” she asked.

Poe swallowed hard at the question, feeling both confusion and a dull ache at the memories. Hopping from one bad moment to another was not exactly what he had imagined for this conversation.

“Of course. There’s not a day I don’t think about the pilots I’ve lost,” he answered, his tone more controlled. “They were my friends, family…”

“Then you can understand her pain,” Leia said. And suddenly Poe realized she wasn’t really talking about Rapier and the Republic. “Jayah fought it as long as she could, Poe, but sometimes … grief can be too much.”


	4. Chapter 3: First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have a half-naked, smart ass Poe <3

Leia’s words continued to echo through Poe’s mind as he made the trek back through the jungle to Kryal’s small hut.  _Sometimes grief can be too much._

Poe knew all about grief. It had been at his side since his mother passed away when he was 8 years old. It followed him as he went into academy and watched as fellow pilots, who were worse off than they would admit, never came back from training runs. It stayed in the cockpit with him during those first missions as a Republic pilot, and whispered in his ear constantly when he took command as Black Leader of Rapier.

And grief clung to Poe like a child in the last few weeks, as he led an entire bomber squadron to their deaths, then as hundreds of his fellow fighters were picked off by the First Order.

So part of him began to understand … if Jayah Kryal had been a fighter pilot for the Republic and the Resistance, then she knew grief well.

His father had always told him to be kind to others in hard situations — just because Poe could put on a brave face did not mean others were able. It had been advice a young Poe took to heart; and words he always tried to remember as a commander. He had seen it happen many times too — from a cocky pilot in her first battle to a seasoned vet watching his longtime squadmate go down. Sometimes the shock was too much.

Once he reached the edge of the clearing before Kryal’s hut, Poe paused and forced in a deep breath. He had calmed down considerably since his angry trek to the X-Wing and painful conversation with Leia. His eyes focused on the small home, glowing against the dark night sky and pouring rain. Thunder cracked over his head and he was pretty sure he was soaked through to the bone, despite the protection of the cloak.

But he took the moment to stand still and listen; listen to the rain, to the thunder, to his breath, his heartbeat. He needed a moment and if that meant getting drench to do it, then so be it. This mission was too important to mess it up now.

_There’s always a way,_  his mother’s voice echoed in his mind.  _Just because the first way doesn’t work doesn’t mean there isn’t a Plan B._

“Okay, Mom,” Poe said aloud, “But Plan B is gonna be hell of a hard one to pull off this time.” **  
**

Feeling settled, he closed the distance to the hut, ready to be out of his wet clothes and get some food in his stomach. When he came to the doorway, he had an awkward moment of wondering if he should knock or just walk in. The excited beeps and whirls from BB-8 on the other side of the door thankfully solved the issue for him. Walking inside, the small droid beeped a welcome and quickly told the pilot that Kryal had fixed something to eat before proceeding to ramble on about all they talked about while he was gone. Apparently she was way more chattier with a droid than human.

Poe smiled as BB-8 prattled along and rolled back into the hut, declaring its pilot’s return to Kryal dramatically. He moved to follow the droid, but stopped as he realized he was dripping wet. While he contemplated his next move, removing the heavy cloak he had borrowed, he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Kryal moved away from the fire toward him.

“I hope you packed extra clothes, Commander,” she deadpanned, hands on her hips. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything in your size.”

Poe turned and met her gaze, gritting his teeth as he felt a prick of frustration start to rise again. But he stopped his retort as he looked at her. A small smirk curled the right corner of her mouth and he realized she was joking with him. He pursed his lips and then gave her a smirk of his own, “Luckily for the both of us, I did.”

He offered the cloak back to her and for some reason, he felt as if he were handing her a peace offering. Kryal continued to study him for the briefest of moments, then took the cloak from him, dipping her head slightly in what he took as a thank you.

With a bit of the tension between the two of them resolved, Poe dropped his pack (which thankfully stayed dry), and assessed his current state.

BB-8 whirled at him, almost in a laugh, that he was drenched from head to toe. Poe rolled his eyes, “Thanks, buddy. I kind of noticed that,” he replied, a bit of a laugh in his voice as well.

And the droid was right; every piece of clothing on him was wet straight through.  _Thank the Maker I packed for a long mission,_ he thought to himself with a shake of his damp hair. He bent over the pack, digging through to find a fresh shirt and pants; he had to dig a little deeper for new socks, but finally his fingers circled around them.

Leaving the pieces of clothing at the top of the bag for easy access, Poe stood with a sigh and unzipped his flight suit down to his waist. The warm air of the hut hit his cold arms causing his skin to prickle —  _Definitely need to get out of the wet clothes,_  he thought. A random nail on the wall in front of him offered a perfect place for the flight suit. 

The fabric of his undershirt was plaster against him, itchy and uncomfortable. He glanced down at it molded to his skin and pulled a face. How it even got so wet through his flight suit was beyond him. Another heavy, annoyed sigh passed his lips as Poe reached down and peeled the fabric over his head, shaking out his hair. **  
**

BB-8 beeped sharply at him, causing the pilot to look up and catch Kryal’s blue eyes glued to him. The cloak still hung from her hand, her fingers clutching it so tightly he could see her knuckles were white.

He pursed his lips, cocking an eyebrow at her, “Problem?” he asked, not entirely sure why she had not moved.

Kryal shook her head, as if she was coming out of a trance, and turned quickly, “N—No,” she stuttered, stroding back over to the fire with purpose. She hung the cloak up on a nail near the fireplace. “Once you change, you can hang your clothes by the fire to dry,” she said, her words smashing together quickly. “If you want.”

Poe watched her walk away, his hands paused on unzipping his flight suit the rest of the way. He glanced down at BB-8, his brow furrowed and an unspoken question on his lips. The droid looked at Kryal, then up at Poe, then back again, but had no verbal answer. The pilot huffed a laugh and shook his head.

Whatever it was that had affected her, she was apparently over it. He pushed down his flight suit and stepped out of it. After he toed off his boots and pulled off his socks, his hands went to the the fastens of his fatigue pants. He continued to undress, hearing the soft sounds of Kryal moving around the fire and her small kitchen area, almost as if he were not there at all. That was fine with him.

The tension between them had lessened some, but Poe knew that could change at any moment. As he pulled on a new pair of pants and fastened them, he watched as she dipped a spoon into the pot over the fire.

“It smells good,” he ventured, trying to get her to ease up more.

Kryal wouldn’t turn to him still, but she did murmur a soft ‘thank you’ under her breath.

Smiling to himself, Poe tossed his clean shirt over his shoulder and took the damp one over his hair, trying to tame the dark mess. Walking over to the fire, he took the shirt over his face for good measure as well, trying to at least look presentable. Coming up to Kryal’s side, Poe looked over and noticed her staring again out of the corner of her eye.

“You said I could hang them here?” he asked, partly to confirm with her and partly because he wanted to see if he could get her to turn those blue eyes to him again.

Kryal nodded, stirring the pot, but did not look up at him. He still smiled and began to position his clothes around the hearth.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Jayah Kryal had never been intimidated by anyone in her life. Or at least no one came to the top of her mind when she thought about it. But for some reason, this cocky Resistance pilot next to her made her nervous. Maybe the years she had been on her own had fried her brain. **  
**

She wasn’t sure. Couldn’t be sure. Whatever the case, Jayah couldn’t deny she was hyper aware of Commander Dameron as he undressed behind her, then moved toward the fire to stand next to her. She chanced a glance at him from the corner of her eye, swallowing hard as her gaze followed the firelight dancing down across the skin of his chest and abdomen.

Jayah shook her head slightly. So it had been a long time since she had been in the same room with another person, let alone an attractive, albeit arrogant and pig-headed man. None of that should have mattered. She was a former captain of the Republic Navy and better yet, a former Commander of the Resistance. Jayah Kryal had stared down dozens of TIE fighters, led squadrons against Star Destroyers, and helped save lives during evacuations from First Order invasions. One human man was nothing…

And yet he made her nervous, this Poe Dameron, and she wasn’t ready to admit she was nervous in more ways than one.

Jayah schooled her face into a mask of nonchalance as the pilot began to hang his clothes up by the fire — she was determined to keep her cool.  _Just for tonight,_  she thought to herself.  _Then he and his droid will be on their way._

Dameron moved in what seemed like a crawl, like he was trying to agitate her. She pursed her lips, wondering why he couldn’t put his shirt on already — was there a reason he had to do this task half naked? Because she didn’t appreciate it, by the stars.

She grit her teeth and turned from the fire, scolding herself for feeling so off. Her hands busied themselves with the rest of her ingredients for dinner, and she forced herself to take in a deep, calming breath. She chose to focus on making sure she had enough food for the two of them as Dameron continued to try to not blatantly look into the pot over the fire. Something told her he could eat enough for both of them and then some.

“What is that?” Dameron asked.

Jayah turned her eyes up to him, pulling a face. “What does it look like, it’s a soup,” she replied defensively. She instantly regretted the tone.

His response was a soft “hmmph” before he hung up his last article of clothing and pulled his clean shirt over his head.

Jayah dipped her spoon into the pot for a taste and paused as his action caught her gaze. She told herself sternly she was  _not_  staring with interest at the way the muscles in his arms and shoulders moved, because it had no business being enticing. Except it was.

She felt the spoon dipping out of her fingers as his mop of dark curls popped out, and she caught herself before she dropped the utensil.  _Don’t be stupid,_ she chastised herself.  _You’ve been by yourself too long, that’s all. He’s a complete bantha ass._

As if to prove her point, Dameron moved away finally and flopped himself into the lone chair at her small table. He tipped back as he took a moment to survey her home with his dark eyes. “So what?” he asked. “You thought you’d slink off to an uninhabited kriffing hell for six months or so and it would ease your mind about leaving?” **  
**

Yes, all attraction, right out the window.

Jayah’s jaw clenched. “You might want to mind your tongue, flyboy, or you’ll see my hospitality runs cold quick,” she warned.

“You call a knife in my back and refusing my plea for help hospitality?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She turned and looked at him sharply, “Once again, maybe you would be more comfortable waiting out the storm and winds in your X-Wing eating protein packs?”

Dameron pursed his lips, looking as if he were fighting a smile. Which was odd. “Fine,” he conceded. “You have a good point.”

Something in Jayah told her that was as close to an apology as she was going to get for his attitude, so she decided to leave well enough alone. The soup was ready anyway and she was starving. She dished up her own bowl and then walked over to him and handed him the ladle. He was a grown man, he could take care of himself.

After he took the ladle from her, Jayah moved over to her bed, sitting cross-legged on top of her covers with her soup and a chunk of bread in her hand. Dameron sighed and moved to fix his own bowl. Once they both settled, silence engulfed the hut as they ate. Jayah watched him as secretly as she could. He looked fairly content eating the meal and she was happy to take his silence rather than any complaining.

_Just one night. Just have to weather one night then he’s back to being Leia’s problem,_ she chanted in her mind.

It didn’t take long for Dameron to finish off his bowl, dropping his spoon into the dish and leaning back. He fixed his dark eyes on her, arms crossing over his chest. Jayah pursed her lips and looked down at her bowl, continuing to sip from her spoon and avoid his gaze. Of everything about him, thus far, it was his eyes that rattled her the most. He was trying to figure her out, obviously, but his eyes made her think he probably stood a good chance to solve the mystery. **  
**

“How long  _have_  you been here?” he asked softly. She hated how he had a voice like her favorite warm whiskey.

She looked up at him and felt her eyes narrow. “What do you care?” she asked in return. “I’m just a coward, remember?”

Dameron shrugged, “If I have to share your space, I thought we could at least be civil to each other.” 

Jayah rolled her eyes, “You clearly misunderstand the definition of civil.” She stood from her spot on the bed and placed her bowl on the table to clean later. “And you don’t  _have_  to share anything. Like I said, your X-Wing is still out there, if you’re so inclined.”

“I beg to differ,” he argued as she walked over and snatched his empty bowl from in front of him. “Hey, I wasn’t finished.” **  
**

“You’re finished now,” she spat, tossing the bowl on top of hers and, to keep from getting overly agitated by him, she began to clean up the table.

Dameron scoffed, “What exactly is your problem, Kryal?”

Jayah wheeled around on him, “My  _problem_  is cocky, kriffing Resistance laser brains showing up on my moon, demanding I help a cause that never helped me, and then acting like a spoiled child when I refuse!”

She wasn’t sure exactly when her voice had gotten louder, or when she decided to stalk over to him. But as she neared, he stood and only looked caught off guard for a moment. She was not to be deterred — she stepped up, toe to toe, and poked him hard in the chest, “You don’t know a damn thing about me, about why I’m here. How dare you judge me!” **  
**

Jayah watched as Dameron clenched his jaw and his dark eyes narrowed at her. She met his gaze head on and after a moment, he shook his head. “You act as if the Resistance owes any of us anything,” he said and for the first time, his voice made her see why he was a Commander for Leia. “It doesn’t; we owe it our service, our loyalty for standing against the tyranny of the First Order.”

In that moment, Jayah wasn’t exactly sure what made her upset — maybe it was his words, told to her in such a righteous way. Or just how he looked at her. She couldn’t stop the dark laugh that fell from her lips. “You’re so blind,” she said, stepping back. “Blind to it all. No wonder she sent you.”

As she put distance between them again, she felt more than heard Dameron take a step after her, “What does that mean?”

“It means Leia Organa has a type, and you fit the bill to a T, flyboy.”

“If you mean damn good pilots who understand the importance of the Resistance, then yes, I would agree with you,” he responded with evident cheek.

“No,” Jayah said sternly, rounding on him with fierce eyes and voice. “I mean reckless, rash, foolish, and I would go as far as to say insubordinate pilots who do not give any thought to their actions until after the engines are off and the smoke clears. Leia attracts them like flies to honey.”

She wasn’t sure what she expected his response to be — possibly more anger, or some other passionate speech about how noble and brave the Resistance was. She certainly wasn’t expecting what he  _did_  do.

Dameron smirked at her — outright  _smirked_  like he found amusement in what she said. “Foolish and passionate are often confused,” he said nonchalantly. “Besides, passion is something desperately needed against the First Order.”

Jayah stared at him for a few seconds, completely stunned. She shook her head, “Yeah, that sounds like Leia all right.”

He took a long, deep breath, “What happened to you, huh?” he asked softly.

The question startled her. She turned and gripped the edge of the table, deciding to ignore him; she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer for that one. Her resolve lasted a whole 20 seconds.  _How dare he?!_  she fumed in her mind. He had no business, none whatsoever, to ask about her past like that. They didn’t know one another; she was his mission, he didn’t care about anything other than the information she could provide.

Jayah faced him, already opening her mouth to offer a harsh retort, but stopped as her eyes met his. He didn’t seem angry anymore, or even frustrated. Dameron stared at her with complete and sincere confusion. **  
**

“What changed you?” he asked; Jayah wondered if it was concern she heard in his voice.

Unnerved, she broke eye contact, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I know who you were, Kyral,” he said instead, causing her heart to beat faster. “Leia told me you were intelligent, a brilliant commander. You were loyal to a fault. She said you were brave, strong, almost fearless.”

Jayah was sure her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. And even if that was not possible, then she knew he could hear it. She stared at him with wide eyes.

Dameron took a deep breath, “What happened to change that? What made you decide to hide?”

Her emotions were threatening to bubble over at any second. Panic raced through her veins and she clenched her fists, the tips of her fingernails digging into her palms. She forced herself to take a slow, deep breath, though it did nothing to calm her. Still, she raised her eyes to his.

“If you sleep by the fire, you’ll stay warm tonight. It gets very cold during storms,” she told him softly.

Dameron’s face fell in disappointment and Jayah suddenly wished he had gotten angry instead. “So that’s it?” he asked.

She pursed her lips and decided she had to move to keep from letting her emotions show. Her feet guided her around her small space, snuffing out candles that were lit. The fire needed to be banked, but that would bring her too close to Dameron, so she moved back to her bed.

“If you’re lucky, the storm will be settled in the morning and you can fly out at day break,” she answered, toeing off her shoes and crawling into her tiny bed. Jayah turned on her side, facing the wall and swallowed hard.

Her hearing focused in on him; listening as he took in a deep breath. “BB-8, you should probably shut down for the night,” he whispered softly.

Jayah felt a lump in her throat as she followed his footsteps closer to the hearth. The scraping noises and crackle and pops that followed told her he was stoking the fire for them, even adding another log or two from the pile nearby. A few more minutes passed filled with his soft shuffling — even though she was not looking at him, Jayah could almost see him picking out a spot, maybe grabbing his pack as a makeshift pillow before he lowered himself to the ground and settled.

By now, her panic had morphed into a heavy weight of memory, disdain for herself, and hurt. Tears were gathering in her eyes as she watched the shadows the fire cast on the wall, but she refused to sniffle, to give Dameron any satisfaction of knowing he may have gotten to her, that he had drug up things she had worked so hard to forget.

Jayah listened still, almost holding her breath, as he tossed and turned to find a comfortable spot on the hard dirt floor. He let out a soft sigh that was filled with frustration. Then, finally, after at least 10 minutes, she noted the change in his breathing and realized he had fallen asleep.

It was only then that Jayah felt safe enough to cry.


	5. Chapter 4: Trails of Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants in describing a lot of this. I hope it works.

There was something gently bumping into Poe’s side. As bad as the sleep he currently was attempting to catch was, he didn’t want to acknowledge the consistent nudging. When it stopped, finally, he sighed with relief and turned over. **  
**

That was when BB-8 hit him square in the back. Poe groaned, turning back over slightly to crack an eye open. The droid loomed over him and beeped as softly as Poe imagined it could, stating very sternly that he needed to wake up.

He ached all over and getting up was the last thing on his mind at the moment. So he simply rolled away, closed his eyes, and attempted to wander back into unconsciousness. But BB-8 was persistent, so much so that its panicky beeps had Poe sigh in defeat and turn onto his back.

“All right, buddy, I’m up,” he whispered, his voice scratchy from sleep.

The fire had died down sometime in the night, pitching the hut in near complete darkness. The bad news, he soon came to realize, was the heavy roar of the rain that still pounded the dwelling and ground outside.

BB-8 leaned closer to Poe and whirled quietly; maybe they should wait a bit longer, like Jayah suggested, it said. Sitting up and rolling his shoulders, Poe shook his head. “Not a chance. The quicker we can get off this moon and back to the Resistance, the better,” he said softly, forcing himself to his feet.

He took a moment, stretching his arms behind him, feeling his back crack harshly, and rolling his head around slowly. Shaking sleep from his limbs was never something he was good at. Poe could never remember when he was chipper in the morning. At least without caf, which of course Kryal had none of.

Even if she did, he wasn’t sure she would offer it.

Thinking of her, Poe turned toward the bed across the room. In the shadows, he could see the shape of her body lying still, back to him. Motionless; he found a bit of worry clutch his chest at the thought she may not be breathing. But if that was the case, BB-8 would have been aware and said something.

Wasting no more time, he moved to the hearth to grab his now dry clothes, stuffing them back into his pack. He felt hungry but wasn’t low enough to swipe any of Kryal’s food — and she had been right about one thing the night before; he did have protein packs that would do him well in a pinch. Moving toward the front door, he grabbed his flight suit off the nail he left it on the night before and began to pull it on as quietly as he could. Zipping the suit up to his waist, he found himself pausing once again. His eyes turned back to Kryal curled up on her small bed. BB-8 chirped, asking if he was ready to go. Poe wasn’t sure … he found he was hesitant to leave her and not entirely sure why.

Looking at her sleeping, curled up and back to him, she seemed so … fragile now. He had never gotten out of her how long she had been on this moon, all alone, just surviving. It sounded incredibly lonely. Kryal had rubbed him the wrong way the night before, but now, the early morning twilight and roar of the rain somehow gave him some perspective — he had been judgmental toward her, but she still allowed him to share her home, her food.

Leia’s words slammed into the front of his mind again — sometimes grief can be too much. Poe’s gaze softened; it was obvious now, remembering their last interaction the night before. She was hurting and scared — whatever happened to her was enough to have her give up everything and live in exile.

BB-8 beeped questionly, wondering if there was something the matter. Poe pulled in a deep breath, “I don’t want to leave her here, buddy,” he answered, shaking his head. “It doesn’t seem right.”

The droid looked over to Jayah as well and then back to the pilot. Should they wake her, it chirped in question. Poe opened his mouth, ready to agree. He could convince her, he was sure of it. But as the thought fluttered across his mind, he realized it truly wouldn’t be possible. Kryal didn’t know him and he didn’t know her — how could he assume his personality and conviction could erase what happened to her? Hell, the evening before it only angered her and eventually panicked her.

Resigning to the fact, Poe pursed his lips and pulled his flight suit up the rest of the way. Maybe he couldn’t convince her now, and maybe he didn’t know much about her, but he vowed he wouldn’t forget her. He would come back, he would get her off this kriffing moon. Not because of his mission or the need of the Resistance, but because deep down, Poe wanted to help her. He felt a sadness now for her that he couldn’t shake …

“No, BB-8. We should get going though,” he said finally, grabbing his pack and finally turning from her to the door.

He opened it but again turned back, looking around the hut before his gaze finally rested on Kryal’s back. Then he turned and ushered BB-8 out.

They raced through the sheets of rain; Poe could barely see two feet in front of him. Thank the Maker BB-8’s white and orange stood out from the darkened trees and rain. Finally, they came up on the X-Wing and Poe yelled over roar of the rain for BB-8 to strap in and start the ship up. The droid beeped in affirmative and zipped forward, already in its spot behind the cockpit and raising the dome shield for Poe by the time the pilot gripped the ladder.

Poe tossed his pack behind his seat and dropped in, flipping the shield close as he grabbed his helmet and strapped in. He was surprised to feel the X-Wing rock from the force of the wind gusts. BB-8 whirled in his ear through comms as the engine roared to life and Poe immediately hit the warning toggles that were blasting.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” he muttered. “Heads up, BB, we’re gonna have a bumpy ride,” he said louder.

For a moment, as the systems fired up and BB-8 put in their course, Poe thought possibly he was making a mistake. They should wait out the storm and try later. But as the ship slowly rose up from the ground, he knew they had to try. The Resistance did not have time; he had to get back.

The X-Wing rose higher, the wind getting strong and tipping his right wing up sharply. The control panels screamed in protest, warning Poe of the potential danger of the gusts. He swallowed hard and grabbed the yoke, steadying the ship against the force of the gail that whipped around them.

“Is this going to get any better as we go up?” Poe asked BB-8, looking down at the radar for guidance; looking out the cockpit shield offered him nothing but waves of rain.

BB-8 wailed that the force of the winds were getting exponentially worse the higher they traveled up. Poe cursed under his breath and leaned forward, hitting a couple switches, “BB-8, watch the power distribution. Let’s not give it too much gas and get ourselves in trouble.”

The little droid beeped to the pilot that power distribution was not the trouble for them. Poe didn’t admit out loud that it was right. A gust came up harsh and he had to grip the stick with both hands to keep the ship from rolling.

“Look, buddy, we’re gonna have to take our chances. I’m going to punch it and we’re going to break through and be out of here before you know it,” Poe kept his voice as calm as possible, not wanting to frighten the astromech anymore.

In that moment, multiple things happened at once. Poe pulled the X-Wing up slowly, inching toward the altitude that would allow him to punch the throttle to pull away and out of the atmosphere. BB-8 mentioned something about forward deflectors at 60 percent. An updraft slammed into the belly of the X-Wing, causing about five alarms to go berserk as it dragged them up and then disappeared in an instant, dropping the ship. Lightning cracked all around them, then thunder a millisecond behind it, shaking Poe to his core.

“This was a bad idea,” Poe muttered as BB-8 started yelling something about debris.

“Debris?” he asked, eyes scanning the panels before him. “From what, we haven’t been…”

Whatever it was — probably an entire tree, if the impact was anything to go by — it side-swiped them, taking a chunk of the left wing with it. Poe couldn’t discern the warning sensors from BB-8’s panic-laced cries mostly because of the blood roaring in his ears. The X-Wing immediately went into a spin and Poe yanked on the stick hard to correct.

They leveled out, but Poe knew they wouldn’t have much time left in the air. Looking down at the radar, he saw a window and knew what he had to do.

“BB-8, you have to find Kryal. She’ll protect you, get you back to the Resistance,” he said into the comms, flipping off the power to the engines, hoping to at least lessen the impact and the chances of the fuel cells from exploding.

BB-8 whirled; what about Poe, Poe had to be coming too!

“Just find her, okay! She’ll look after you!” the pilot responded, then hit the lever at his right side, ejecting the droid.

The sensors were screaming in a cacophony of doom. Poe set his jaw and prayed BB-8 would find its way, that the Resistance would survive, and that it wasn’t all in vain. Suddenly the ground was in front of him and he closed his eyes.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ **  
**

Jayah had been awake sometime already when she heard BB-8 power up and roll over to Dameron. She listened as the two spoke in soft tones, as Dameron moved around her home and packed up his things. Then she heard his heavy steps move to the door, despite the deafening roar of thunder and rain outside the hut. Her stomach clenched at Dameron’s soft words …

“I don’t want to leave her here, buddy. It doesn’t seem right.”

He hesitated for the longest time and for some silly reason, Jayah felt _something_ pull her toward him; to flip over and beg him to ask her to go with him. She didn’t want to be alone anymore. She didn’t want to hurt over the past … 

But Jayah didn’t move. And Dameron didn’t wake her up. He sighed heavily and told his droid they needed to get going. The silence after they left — only intensified by the pounding rainfall — made Jayah feel hollow. **  
**

Commander Poe Dameron and his droid BB-8 had come crashing into her world in a matter of hours, disrupting the fragile bubble she had worked so hard to get around herself. Even though he had been irritating and at times rude, Dameron reminded her of what it had been like to be around others, to just carry on a conversation.

Those brief hours had done something she thought would be impossible — she felt a connection again. Despite his … gruff exterior, Jayah did see there was more to him. His enthusiasm, his loyalty, his sheer determination; they were like beacons that blinded her in the darkness she had created for herself. A darkness born of her past. But obviously there was no shaking it easily — not even a hot shot pilot from Leia Organa could change that.

The wind howled in their absence and her fire crackled from the new logs Dameron had tossed on it as he moved about the hut, gathering his things. Jayah let out a shuddery breath she did not realize she had been holding and closed her eyes, trying to finally find some sleep.

Suddenly, Jayah bolted straight up, eyes wide. The storm was getting more intense … and Dameron and BB-8 had just went racing out into it headed for an X-Wing.

“Kriffing hell,” she muttered shakily, throwing off her cover and grabbing her boots, blaster, and cloak.

Jayah threw open her door and felt her heart sink — the rain was so intense, she couldn’t see two feet in front of her. She couldn’t imagine what that looked like out of a cockpit shield.

“Dameron!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, even though she rationally knew there was no way he could hear her. “Dameron! BB-8!”

Together the rain and wind were too much, and if they were smart the pair would be hauling ass to get back to the X-Wing. Jayah knew she had a choice, one she had to make quickly.

“ _Kriffing hell,_ ” she growled again, pulling the cloak on and dashing out in the rain. 

She had no idea what in the hell she was doing, where exactly she was going, or what the hell she was going to do _if_ she found them, but Jayah knew she had to try. Dameron may have been a great pilot, but there was no getting out in this. The storm was growing, and she knew from experience that these storms brought about winds that were dangerous. Soon, the winds would start picking up old trees and other items to kick around. Jayah’s stomach clenched at the thought of the ship getting side-swiped and careening to the ground.

Her mind told her as she ran along that she had fortunately stumbled along the path Dameron and his droid had taken, but in the back of her mind she knew that couldn’t be possible. With the rain and wind, there was no way the path had kept. But something inside Jayah told her she was going the right way, and she had never doubted her gut before. **  
**

Racing along, she pushed herself to go as fast as her legs would take her. Her feet slipped a few times on the muddy ground, but she always caught herself. Her legs and chest were starting to hurt and the blood was roaring in her ears when the high-pitched whine of X-Wing engines punctured through it all.

Both Jayah’s heart and steps stuttered as she looked up. The ship sliced above her, its left wing gone and smoking as Dameron obviously worked to keep control of it as it descended from the air.

“Oh no,” she said under her breath.

It disappeared out of sight, leaving only trails of dark smoke illuminated in the lightning that began to strike more viciously. Jayah followed it, pushing herself to run harder.

The sound and actual impact of the ship making contact with the surface rattled Jayah. Her heart lodged in her throat, but she still followed the lines of smoke in the sky above her.

When BB-8 came flying out of the brush, Jayah nearly choked on a sob she had no idea was in her. The droid slid to a stop in front of her, nearly as frantic as she felt, beeping and screeching at her about Poe and the X-Wing crashing.

Jayah shook her head and interrupted it, “You have to take me to the X-Wing, BB-8! Scan for the wreck and haul ass!”

BB-8 shrilled its assent and spun around, taking off faster than light it seemed. Jayah did her best to keep up. Why couldn’t she run faster? Finally, she came up on the droid, wobbling back in forth with the dark mass of the X-Wing before them. Smoke billowed out around it, but thankfully there was no flames that she could see. _He must have shut off the power before …,_ she thought briefly and shook her head clear of the rest of the sentence. There were more important things to worry about.

The main body of the ship was mostly intact, which surprised Jayah even more than the lack of fire. Only the nose had been bent back by the force of the crash. The remaining wing on the right was bent and twisted. The rain beat down on her head mercilessly and hitting the metal of the ship only made it louder. With all the smoke coming out, Jayah knew she didn’t have much time — if Dameron was alive, she needed to act fast. **  
**

“Okay,” she said out loud, to steady herself as she rushed forward. BB-8 started to follow her, shrieking to be heard over the rain.

Jayah turned and held up her hand, “No, BB-8 you stay here,” she said. “I’ll get him out.”

The little droid beeped furiously in protest and it struck Jayah that it was overly concerned for its master in a way that most droids were not. She doubled back and knelt before it, laying a hand sympathetically on its little dome head, “I know you want to help, but it’s better to let me go first. I promise, if he’s alive, I’ll get him out.”

With that, Jayah turned and steeled her nerves as she closed the distance between her and the wreckage. The ship was tilted, with the right wing down and crushed against the ground while the broken left side was angled into the air. Jayah scanned the wreck quickly, trying to find the best way to climb up — she was running out of time. The more seconds that passed, the smaller the chance that Dameron would still make it out of this.

She turned toward the nose of the plane, scrambling over the slick metal and landing on the other side in a pool of water and mud. Ignoring the dirt now soaking her boots and leggings, she moved toward the broken wing, finding her first foothold to pull herself up on the structure. The weakened metal groaned under her weight, but she didn’t stop. Moving as carefully and quickly as she could, Jayah started up the slant of the wing. She lost her footing once, almost slipping all the way back down, but thank the Maker she caught herself.

Finally, she was able to haul herself in front of the cockpit shield. Wiping at the glass, she could barely see Dameron’s frame, slumped over in the seat. Smoke was curling behind the glass and obstructing her view more.

Heart fluttering in panic, Jayah reached for the outside emergency release she knew was on the left side. She tugged it with all her strength, but the pop of release didn’t happen.

“Kriffing piece of shit,” Jayah said under her breath, angling her body and tugging again with both hands.

Nothing happened, other than the smoke growing thicker. Jayah could almost feel Dameron choking on the hazardous mist forming. She grabbed for her blaster and turned it over, taking the butt of the weapon to smash the glass on the side open. It took quite a few hits, but the glass finally fractured, then shattered. Smoke billowed out, tugged by the forceful winds, and Jayah coughed harshly, covering her face as it waffed over her.

When it finally cleared and she could see, Jayah felt fear grip her; through the break in the glass, she couldn’t tell if Dameron was breathing or not. _If he’s truly alive, he’s damn kriffing lucky,_ she thought, not allowing herself to think the opposite.

“Dameron!?” she called over the roar of the storm, hoping to jostle him awake. “Dameron, wake up!” **  
**

But he didn’t move. Gritting her teeth, Jayah wrapped part of her heavy cloak around her hand and pushed away the rest of the jutting class from the frame of the shield. Once it was clear, she stuck her hand back in and grabbed the inner emergency release latch. This one gave and she let out a huff of relief as the shield popped open and she pushed it up. Without hesitation, Jayah crawled into the cockpit, careful to hover above Dameron’s motionless body.

“Dameron? Dameron, answer me,” she demanded as her eyes swept over his body, assessing any injuries. Pulling off his cracked helmet, she saw there was a good amount of blood on his head, matting down his dark curls. She pursed her lips and continued to look him over, her eyes jerking to a stop as they caught sight of a large dark spot growing on his left side.

“Shit,” Jayah said under her breath, adjusting her body above his as she reached down and pressed two fingers against his neck to look for a pulse. “Dameron, open your eyes,” she began to plead, forcing herself to take a breath and adjust her fingers against his skin. “Come on, Poe! Don’t die … don’t die.”

_There!_ Her mind screamed in triumph, emotion catching in her throat as she felt a faint pulse beat against her fingers. _Thank the stars._

Jayah grit her teeth and took 20 seconds to formulate a plan. “Okay you cocky son of a bantha, we’re getting you out of here,” she said out loud, not entirely sure if the words were spoken to give him something to hold onto or for herself. **  
**

She carefully undid his safety harness and was able to untangle him from the straps. If anyone were to ask her how she got an unconscious man who had more muscle and body weight than her out of a smoking X-Wing cockpit and down to solid ground, Jayah wouldn’t know how to answer them. Maybe it was her fear or adrenaline — whatever the case, with more effort than she would ever give herself credit for, she was able to wiggle Poe’s body out of the cockpit and out into the rain and hull of the ship.

Even more careful wrangling — and only two slips — found them on the broken wing. Then it was solid ground. With her arms up under his, Jayah was able to drag Poe’s unconscious body away from the wreck and back toward BB-8.

She called out for the droid as she got near and hearing the concerned yet elated beeps of BB-8 gave her a little bit of hope. As the little unit came around to face them, she smiled as reassuring as she could. “He’s alive, but I think he’s hurt pretty badly. BB-8, I’m going to need more medical supplies than I have to help him. Did Poe pack any? Does he have a kit in the X-Wing?” she asked.

She prayed to the Maker there was not only a kit, but it had bacta patches in it as well.

BB-8’s response came in quick, short beeps that Jayah had to concentrate on to understand. But thankfully it explained that Poe kept a medical kit in the cockpit behind his pilot seat. For good measure it added that Poe always kept it well stocked and never went on a mission without it. Jayah felt a first wave of relief and let out a breath.

“Okay, I’m going back for it. BB-8, can you do scans to assess his injuries? If you can see far more than me, it will be a big help when we get him back to my hut,” she instructed.

The droid beeped affirmatively and Jayah didn’t wait to turn back and race back up the broken X-Wing. Dropping down to her knees in the seat, she leaned over the side and sighed in relief at seeing the black leather duffle bag. She grabbed the closest handle and tugged it up, leaning back enough to drop it between her and the back of the seat.

Jayah swiped the zipper down quickly and looked down at a sight that brought grateful tears to her eyes. A thick stack of bacta patches. Zipping the pack up, she slung the long strap over her body and climbed out of the ship.

When she got back to BB-8, the rain had finally started to let up and the wind calm to manageable levels. The little droid immediately burst into a string of information once she arrived — Poe didn’t have any broken bones, but the droid wasn’t sure if he sprained anything; his right shoulder was dislocated; he had a nasty contusion on his head; but worst of all, BB-8 said it detected a large piece of metal penetrating his left side. It had missed vital organs, miracuously, BB-8 said, but they needed to get it out and quickly.

A brief panic gripped Jayah’s heart; she barely had any medical training — only that which she received in academy and Republic Navy training. Looking down at Poe’s unconscious frame, however, she found herself becoming more resolute.

“Okay, BB-8,” she said, her voice sounding sure and strong. “I’m going to need you to help me however you can. We have to get Poe back to my hut quickly if we are going to save him.”


	6. Chapter 5: Touch and Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, things are going to shift in our story now. This is a Poe x OC story, but Jayah is going to take the forefront here. I love her, I hope you do too xoxo
> 
> There are some brief mentions of blood and injuries in this chapter, just to give you a heads up.

It had to be a mix of adrenaline and determination, Jayah told herself as she pushed Poe’s body onto her bed, that helped her and BB-8 drag him to her home. The rain had stopped at some point, though she couldn’t really say when, and made the trek a bit easier.

Now in the warmth and shelter of her home, Jayah worked on getting off his flight suit and shirt so she could assess his injuries and tackle them. As she tossed his shirt away, she heard something metallic clink which drew her attention away from the task at hand for just a moment. She could figure it out later. The most important was the shrapnel in his side. It was the hardest thing she had to do and even hunting and cleaning birds and fish did not prep her for the task.

BB-8 guided her through it as much as it could, using information it had in its database about injury and wound care. She got hot water, clean gauze, and derma clips from the med kit, along with disinfectant, bacta patches, and whatever else the droid directed. Her hands shook the entire time, and she nearly had a panic attack until BB-8 beeped at her that she needed to hurry — Poe’s pulse was pretty faint.

Jayah swallowed down her fear and turned back to the bed. A few minutes later, she tossed the piece of what looked like a random section of control panel onto the floor. A chunk of clean gauze was pressed tight against the slit in Poe’s side as BB-8 continued to chirp out instructions to Jayah.

“Okay, okay, got it,” she said softly, anxiously as she reached for another thick piece of gauze as blood soaked the first. She pressed it on top of the first gauze and still held pressure.

Both she and the droid worked together, doing a good job of keeping focused if Jayah said so herself. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, she stepped back — Poe had finally stopped bleeding and she was able to get the wound cleaned, closed with the derma clips, and covered with a bacta patch. She felt for his pulse again and found it a lot easier now, which eased her mind.

Her adrenaline was starting to wear off and when she fell back in a chair for a moment, she looked down at her hands in her lap. Covered in Poe’s blood, they were starting to shake rapidly.

“Hey, um, BB-8?” Jayah asked, her voice shaking and sounding odd to her ears. “Can you do me a favor?”

The droid beeped in affirmation, and then asked if she was okay. Jayah could only shake her head, curling her fingers into her palms. “Th… There’s a bottle of whiskey on … on the bottom of my pantry shelves ov…over in the corner,” she stuttered out.

It wasn’t how Jayah imagined cracking open the Tevraki whiskey she had pilfered away, but she needed something to take the edge off. If the droid thought the request was odd, it was polite enough not to bring it up — it rolled over and with a little mechanical hand, grabbed ahold of the bottle and brought it to her.

Jayah swallowed hard as she took it with shaking hands, quietly thanking BB-8. Breaking the seal, she forced herself to take in a deep breath before she took a shot of the drink. It burned like fire when it hit her tongue, but it was smooth as she swallowed. Jayah closed her eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth the liquor brought with it spreading through her, calming her nerves.

After a moment — probably one that went on much too long — BB-8 chirped; was she all right?

Jayah replaced the cap on the bottle, sealing it tight again. “Yeah, I’m good,” she responded, her voice rough. “Now we gotta put his shoulder back in place and get his head cleaned up, BB. Not much we can do for the probable concussion he has, but we can at least get him washed up.”

She did know how to pop a dislocated shoulder back; she’d done it once or twice on some missions. It was better Poe was unconscious too; when Jayah did the deed — the loud crack echoing through the hut — even she winced. She dug in the medical kit for another roll of gauze; it wouldn’t be the perfect material for a sling, but it was what she had to work with for the moment.

Then it was on to his head. Jayah fetched more clean, hot water and cooled it a bit before she moved her chair to the head of the bed. With the bowl in her lap, Jayah slowly began to scope up water and run it through his hair, her fingers carefully examining the wound. It wasn’t a deep gash, thankfully. But he would have a hell of a knot there from the hit.  

Jayah continued to comb her wet fingers through his hair, letting out a deep breath she had not realized she had been holding in. _If he makes it through the night, we’ll be okay,_ she thought to herself, allowing her focus to narrow in on the movement of her fingers through Poe’s curls. Despite the situation, it was oddly relaxing.

Once she treated his head wound, Jayah cleaned the cuts on his face. His breathing was steady, which she took as the best sign possible. After double checking with BB-8 there were no injuries below the waist, she pulled her cover over him and went to pick up the discarded shirt she had tossed off him earlier. As she clutched the fabric, she watched as a chain fell from the folds, dropping to the dirt floor.

Jayah looked down curiously, seeing a silver band … a ring entailed with a necklace chain. She stared for a long moment before she bent over and picked it up. This had meant a lot to him, for it to be around his neck. A promise to a girl back on the Resistance base, maybe? A momento from someone special? She swallowed hard and closed her fingers around the small object before she walked over and tossed the torn and blood soaked shirt into the fire, stoking the flames to keep the hut warm for him.

Then finally, Jayah fell into her chair again, clutching Poe’s necklace close to her chest as her eyes watched his move up and down with his breath. She was feeling exhausted and it was only midday, even though the dark clouds made it look as if it were close to dusk. BB-8 rolled up next to her, whirling a question softly.

“All we can do is wait, and hope the bacta patches will do their job,” she answered, noticing her hands were still pink.

BB-8 gave a long, low whistle.

Jayah let her head hang back, staring at the ceiling. “I hope so too, BB-8. I hope so too.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

The sun had dipped below the horizon hours ago, and Jayah had passed away the day puttering around her hut, cooking up some broth, cleaning up from the impromptu surgery, and occasionally finding herself just staring at Poe lying on her bed. She wasn’t quite sure why she stared — mostly she told herself it was to check if he was still breathing.

She was trying desperately not to think about what would happen if he didn’t make it through the night. The rational part of brain continually rattled along, telling her she had to plan for the worst. That he would pass in the night; she would have to call the General, find a way to get BB-8 back to the Resistance …

Jayah forced a heavy breath through her lips and closed her eyes. _No,_ she told herself sternly. _I’m not going down that road yet._

She had not felt much like eating, but still made herself sip down some of the broth she made. Then she worked on patching her gathering satchel, her eyes constantly darting to the bed to watch Poe for a moment, to see his chest rise and fall slowly. Each pause made her heart clench.

BB-8 was a vigilant sentry over its master, occasionally letting out soft beeps in questions directed at Poe, almost as if the droid expected the pilot to turn his head and answer. Jayah would look up and almost hoped he would.

Finally, as she felt time creep toward the early morning hours of the next day, Jayah softly touched the top of the droid’s domed body. “How’s your power supply, BB?” she asked softly, her voice sounding scratchy.

The droid turned its optical eye up to her; holding strong, and enough to last a while.

Jayah pursed her lips, “You can shut down for a bit, you know. I will watch him. You should save as much power as you can since I have no way to charge you.”

BB-8 whined low and soft, dropping its head. She patted it, “It’s okay, buddy. I promise I’ll power you up if something happens. But he’ll be fine, okay? He’s stubborn as all hell; he’ll make it.”

The little droid rolled over to the head of the bed, situating itself against the wall as it beeped a reply to her that Poe was more stubborn than she knew. She smiled, “You’ll have to tell me about it tomorrow, promise?”

It beeped affirmative and then with a hum, powered down.

Another heavy breath passed her lips and she went about putting out her candles, adding another log to the fire — her usual routine before turning in for the evening. The rain had long passed, leaving a bitter chill to the breezes that filtered through the windows she left uncovered. Her hand clutched her single extra blanket from the foot of the bed when she paused and listened.

The fire crackled, the wind whispered, and Poe’s deep breath was just a slight wisp. For some reason, something urged her to go outside. It wasn’t that she heard a creature moving close — after all this time in her small hut in the clearing, the animals gave her a wide berth. But something was insistent in the back of her mind …

She made her way over the doorway of the home, pulling it open and staring out in the darkness, then up into the stars. Jayah sighed, the air leaving her taking a weight with it now that she was under the sky. She had felt this pull before; the need to be up and amongst the stars.

Her entire life, Jayah had felt discarded. An orphan of the Galactic War, she never belonged, never felt a part of _anything_ until she was in an X-Wing and up in space. After all the years watching the squadrons run drills from her room at the orphanage to stargazing from secret spots she found near the flight deck, she had finally felt at home in a ship. 

Then she became the sole survivor of her Republic Navy squadron and the cause of the deaths of 24 Resistance pilots. Fate took away the one thing that made sense to Jayah — flying.

She had tried to do her best; she tried to help others … but in the end, it was all for nothing.

Jayah swallowed hard at the memories. Closing her eyes, she tipped her head back and felt the wind brush her cheek. She then stared up at the stars — some burned larger and brighter, others seemed so distant and faint. After three years alone, she knew their positions by heart, the rotation of them through the days. The ache of just _missing_ had dulled in her over time, but there were moments like this where it hurt so much to be alone that she would sob fiercely, knowing no one would hear her. It had been a while since she had been affected like this.

Jayah had become used to the time alone. Or at least she had convinced herself she had. Now it seemed like Poe had brought it back with full force.

Wrapping the blanket in her hands around her shoulders, she slid to the floor of the doorway. Her body settled in and leaned against the frame, her head still tipped up at the stars. Her mind whirled with too many thoughts — her past, Poe’s words, his still body on her bed …

Sleep took her unexpectedly, her last conscious thought a prayer to whatever force was out there that he would survive the night.


	7. Chapter 6: In Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream tropes whaaaaaaaat. Also, this chapter is a massive 3,995 words. xoxo

_“Gold Two, pull out!”  
_

_Jayah hit her accelerator and pulled on the stick, “Not a chance, Commander!” she called back in comms. Her X-Wing turned, barely avoiding the streams of green light from the TIE fighter behind her._

_“I said pull back, Kryal, that’s an order!” her CO came back._

_The nest of First Order fighters Gold Squadron had stumbled upon had been a surprise to say the least. As they came out of hyperspace and saw the cluster of 15 fighters, Jayah’s finger itched over the trigger on her stick. They didn’t have to wait long for something to happen — the TIE fighters broke formation and started their attack. It had not been Jayah’s first battle, so she felt no fear as her commanding officer shot out orders and she banked left with her squad mates._

_She had felled three TIE fighters before the first causality hit. Her friend Bayard was beside her one second, then the next he was gone. Just evaporated. Baffled at where the shot came from and feeling a panic, Jayah whipped her ship around to see the large star destroyer appear from nowhere._

_“Gold Leader, are you seeing this?!?” she cried into the comms, not believing her eyes._

_Flashes of light, explosions erupted around her. The scene became chaotic. Her friends dying…_

_“I said pull back, Kryal, that’s an order!” Gold Leader called._

_“Not a chance in hell!” Jayah yelled back, her heart in her throat as she punched the engines, desperate to reach her CO who was tailed by three fighters. They were the only two left. She wasn’t going to lose him too._

_“Jayah, you’re the better pilot,” he said, his voice suddenly calm; accepting. “You can make it back. You can tell them what happen. You can stop them.”_

_Jayah choked on a sob, “No, Jax. We’ll go back together, I’m almost there! Just keep weaving, remember? Weave in and out, those bastards can’t get you.”_

_“Jayah …”_

_The TIE fighters all fired at once it seemed and suddenly Jax’s X-Wing was gone, bursting into reds and yellows before her. “JAX!” she screamed in comms, her finger slamming on the trigger of her guns, even though she knew she was too far away …_

_Two fireballs exploded in front of her and Jayah looped her X-Wing around, but something wasn’t right. Her gaze scanned around and suddenly she saw a vessel that had not been there before. It was a transport ship, sleek and large. But there had not been a transport ship there before…_

_A glow began to emanate from the stern of the ship and she felt a sudden panic rise in her chest._

_“Muran! Iolo! Break point!” she shouted into the comms, only it wasn’t her voice that said it._

_Her heart was ramming against her chest as her eyes caught sight of an A-Wing and X-Wing hovering near the transport. The A-Wing banked sharp, high and left, but the X-Wing went left and low._

_“No!” she screamed, again not in her voice._

_The transport stretched toward hyperspace and snapped away, but the wake of its jump was still visible and sliced through the S-foils of the X-Wing._

_“MURAN!”_

Jayah gasped and jolted up right. Sweat was trickling down from her brow and her mouth was completely dry. Her eyes darted around quickly, assessing her surroundings, coming back to the reality that she was on a dirt floor and not in a cockpit of an X-Wing.

After a moment, her breath finally began to calm and she fell back against the frame of the doorway once more. Her hands ran over her face in a vain attempt to wash away the memories that still lingered in front of her eyes. That’s when it hit her …

There was a moment when her dream turned and the memories were no longer her own. The scenes with the transport vessel seemed so real, almost like a memory. And she didn’t know a Muran …

Rolling her head in attempt to relieve herself of the crick in her neck, Jayah turned back and looked into the hut. The fire wasn’t too low, which meant she had not slept long. The side of her body that had been nearest the jungle outside, however, was near frozen. Picking herself up off the floor with a soft groan, Jayah rubbed the back of her neck and went inside, shutting the door behind her. She stoked the fire again, adding wood, and turned to the bed.

Poe laid motionless, but he was still breathing, thank the stars. As Jayah continued to watch him, her brows knitted together. His chest was moving erratically, faster than it was hours earlier.

“No,” she breathed, rushing over to his side and placing the back of her hand on his damp forehead. “No, no, no.”

He was warm, clammy under her touch — the beginnings of a fever taking hold. Jayah moved quickly, pulling down the cover from his chest and seeing the bacta patch she had put on was already spent. Gently, she removed the patch and then the wrappings. Gazing at the wound, she felt relief flood her. The gash didn’t seem swollen nor was it turning different colors. No onset of infection. The derma clips were holding the wound closed well, which also was promising.

So why the fever?

Jayah turned and pulled out the med kit, digging for another bacta patch to replace the one she had removed. She fitted it over the wound and re-wrapped it. Once she was finished, she pulled the cover back up to his chin, then went and grabbed his leather jacket and added it on top of the cover over his chest. Anything to help him keep warm.

Just as she moved away to get a cold compress, Poe sucked in a harsh breath and a deep, pain-filled groan came from his throat. Jayah immediately abandoned her task and sat on the edge of the bed next to him.

“Poe?” she asked hopefully, her voice quiet.

His brow knitted and his breathing grew heavy, starting to almost become a pant. She pursed her lips, keeping calm as she reached forward and placed her palm against his cheek, “Poe, can you hear me?”

The pilot still did not answer her, nor did he open his eyes. Whatever he was dreaming or seeing behind his closed eyes, it was upsetting him more and more. Standing, she quickly fetched the cold compress she’d been intent on earlier. Tugging the chair near the head of the bed, Jayah sat and gently placed the damp cloth on his forehead, pressing one palm against it.

“Shhh, Poe, it’s okay,” she whispered; she felt slightly ridiculous. She didn’t know if he could even hear her, but she hoped if he did it would calm him.

His brow relaxed somewhat, but his breath still was too erratic. Swallowing hard, she ran her fingers through his hair gently and flipped the compress over to put the cooler side to his skin. “Everything’s okay, Poe,” she said softly as her eyes grew heavy with exhaustion. She felt them close as her fingers continued trekking through his soft dark curls. “You made it out of the crash. And BB-8 is here. He’s okay too.”

She drew in a deep breath, her chin dropping to her chest, “I feel so stupid talking out loud,” she whispered.

But after a moment, Jayah forced her eyes open and looked down at his now passive face. His curls were wild from her ministrations and there was a shadow of scruff that had started on the line of his jaw and cheeks. She pushed a breath out from between her lips and scooted the chair closer.

“I know we didn’t get along the other day,” she started, “but I’ll have you know I’m starting to have a change of heart about you.”

It was getting so much more difficult to keep her eyes open and to sit up right…

Jayah found herself leaning forward, placing her head on the bed next to his. Her fingers carded through his curls one last, languid time.

“Please don’t die tonight,” her voice whispered to him. “Please make it through the night. Be here when I wake up.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Her neck was killing her again as she came to. Luckily this time she wasn’t half freezing. When Jayah cracked open her eyes and registered two things rather quickly. A nudging on her leg, which after a half a second of panic, she realized was BB-8. The second was she was staring at Poe’s profile.

Jayah raised up slowly and groaned, rubbing her neck, “Sorry, BB-8. I must have fallen asleep a few hours ago.”

BB-8 beeped worriedly, again asking her if she was all right. If she wanted to sleep more, it volunteered to keep watch over Poe.

She smiled at the little droid, “I’m okay, thanks BB. You make a good point. Maybe we can take turns keeping watch? That way we both won’t drain our batteries too much.”

The little droid whirled and gave a couple beeps and bwops, trailing behind her as she got up and walked over to the fire; it would be more than happy to take its turn watching over Poe. Poe had done the same for BB-8 plenty of times, it told her, and the droid felt a duty to do the same.

Jayah poured herself a cup of water, downing it in one go. “You two have been through a lot, haven’t you?”

You bet! BB-8 whirled, its domed head swiveling to look up at Poe. Poe was a great pilot, the best there was, and he always treated BB-8 like a friend and not a droid. BB-8 always loved their adventures and missions, even if Poe could get into trouble. A lot of trouble, it emphasized.

She chuckled, “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” She refilled the glass a bit and walked to the bed. Sitting on the edge, she felt of Poe’s forehead again. “Well, little buddy, good news is the fever he was getting last night isn’t sticking around.”

Jayah slipped her hand around Poe’s neck and tilted his head up. She wasn’t sure she would be able to get him to drink anything, but she was going to try. Pressing the cup against his lips, he gave her no response and she realized he was still in a deep unconsciousness. That was worrying. She lowered the cup and sighed. There was probably a basic IV system in his med kit; if he didn’t become conscious enough in the next 12 hours, she realized she would have to hook it up to keep him hydrated.

She stood from the bed and pulled a face; she hated IVs. But it couldn’t be helped. Just like the next task she knew she had to do.

“Okay BB, time to put your babysitting skills to the test,” Jayah turned to the droid with the best smile she could gesture. She felt if she joked a bit and lightened the mood, it would make both her and BB-8 feel better.

The little droid gave her a sarcastic beep; it had been around Poe enough to be an _expert_ babysitter. Even the General said so.

Jayah couldn’t help but laugh as she strapped on her blaster holster. “I believe it, buddy. You owe me stories, remember?”

BB-8’s answer was to whirl; it had stories a plenty, for sure!

She smirked, “Okay. I gotta go back to the X-Wing. I have a feeling our pilot there was supposed to check in and since he is unable to, I probably need to for him.”

The droid stared at her for a moment and then beeped its agreement; the General would be worried. Jayah nodded and headed for the door before she could chicken out, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

The distance to the crash was a whole hell of a lot easier to trek when she wasn’t dragging an unconscious pilot behind her. But the trip put into hard contrast again just how much of a feat what she did was. It also brought the sharp anxiety she felt as she willed him to stay alive with every inch she dragged him along.

Thankfully, she made it to the X-Wing in no time at all. Seeing it all again, this time in the light of day without a storm crashing around her, had her swallowing hard. Poe Dameron was one lucky bastard, that was for sure.

Walking around the bent nose, she found the same footholds as before and hauled herself into the cockpit. Before dropping in, Jayah stopped short as she caught sight of the dark patches staining the seat. Blood from both his head and side injuries. She closed her eyes and forced herself to take a deep breath through her nose and then out her mouth.

Instead of dropping down, she scooted along the edge of the cockpit, opting to lean over and snatch Poe’s pack from the left side of his seat. She had a feeling if the comm link he had survived the crash, it would be in that pack. Just to be sure, she plunged her hand into the duffle and groped around. A few worrying seconds passed before her fingers grazed a small, metal cylinder and she let out a breath of relief. Pulling the comm link out, she saw it flashing. So, General Organa had not changed much over the years — still impatient as ever; a worrier to a fault.

Not wanting to linger away from the hut for too long in case something happened, Jayah zipped up the pack and slung it over her shoulder. She carefully made her way back down the broken ship and once again began her trek home.

Jayah rarely spent all her time in her hut, so the walking and gathering were not new things to her. Most of the time, she went out in hopes of getting lost just to make things interesting. But no matter how far or how windy the trail, she would always make it back; she would just know without knowing how she did. A lot of times it bugged the kriffing _hell_ out of her. Today, however, she felt a peace in it. 

Back at her hut, there were no whirling sounds of distress from the droid or man inside, so she elected to dig back into Poe’s pack for the comm link. Bringing it out, she took a good five seconds to stare at it in her palm.

She knew she needed to call Leia, update her on Poe, come up with a plan A, B, and C … but the thought made her stomach turn. Hearing Leia’s voice would bring back a lot of things Jayah was not quite ready to deal with, unfortunately.

_Can’t prevent it now,_ she thought, and pressed her thumb into the comm.

“Echo Hope Base 1, responding. Poe, please tell me you’re okay, we’re all going a little crazy here,” a female voice responded, sounding a tad more desperate than Jayah was expected.

“Unfortunately, he’s unable to respond at the moment, but I can assure you he’s doing as well as can be expected,” Jayah replied.

Silence, then the crackle of communication again. “Who is this? How did you get this comm link? What did you do with Poe?”

Jayah allowed the woman a moment before she responded, “My name is Jayah Kryal and I’m thinking it’s probably best if I relay that information to General Organa herself.”

“I’m her lieutenant, I can relay the information to her just fine,” the woman answered, her voice holding an edge. 

“I’m sure you could, Lieutenant, but I’m afraid I’ll only speak with the General. If you please,” Jayah said as calmly as she could.

There was another silence, this time much longer than Jayah would have liked. She was sure if she lost the connection now, for whatever reason, then she probably would not be able to get it back.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime and a half to Jayah, the comm link cackled again. “Commander Kryal. Nice of you to report in,” Leia’s smooth tone came through.

_She sounds different,_ Jayah thought; older, more weary. The young woman could understand why. “Thought it was the least I could do. And we both know I’m not a commander anymore,” she said.

“You aren’t? I never demoted you. Is there another General on Felucia VI who did?” Leia asked, sarcasm evident.

Jayah rolled her eyes — well, at least that hadn’t changed either, “I figured it was automatic when I swiped an A-Wing and went AWOL.”

Leia chuckled, “Kid, that’s not even half as bad as what I have done in the past.” She paused there and the silence of it engulfed Jayah like a heavy, wet, stinking blanket. “It’s good to hear your voice, Jayah,” the General said softly.

Jayah swallowed hard and bent her head, touching the comm link to her forehead. This was harder than she had even imagined, “Yeah. You too, Leia.”

The older woman sighed through the comm, “I have a feeling you’re about to tell me something I don’t want to hear.”

“Poe crashed his X-Wing,” Jayah replied simply.

“Did he make it?” Leia’s voice took an edge of desperation now.

“Yeah, he did. Barely. I was able to drag him out,” Jayah rubbed a hand down over her eyes. “Considering it all, he’s damn lucky. Only had to pry a piece of panel from his side, pop back in a dislocated shoulder, and clean up the bump on his head.”

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised,” Leia answered, sounding both relieved and exasperated at the same time. Jayah thought considering who she was married to and who her brother was, Leia had it down to an art. “And his droid, BB-8?”

“He ejected BB-8 before the crash. The little droid is fine; helped me out quite a bit to get Poe patched up,” Jayah said and paused. “He made it through the night and we’ve been able to keep a fever and infection away, but he’s still unconscious.”

A pause before the crackle of the comm, “Thank you, Commander. I appreciate your help with him more than you know.”

Jayah swallowed back her retort about the title and sighed, running her hand through her hair. She waited now, knowing deep down what the General was going to ask next before the crackle of the comms even sounded.

But Leia went another direction, “How long do you think until he’s up and moving?”

Jayah pulled in a deep breath, “If he wakes up in the next day and I can keep him hydrated?” she asked. “Possibly a week. He had plenty of bacta patches in his med kit, thankfully, and the derma clips are holding well. If he heals up, I think seven days is the most I would want to risk.”

“And then there is just the matter of getting him off planet without a ship,” Leia said after, sighing deeply. “I can send a transport when…”

“No, it’s too dangerous,” Jayah interrupted. “Poe got here undetected and barely was able to land. That was lucky. You send another ship to this system, which has largely been abandoned since the Empire? They will find you, Leia.”

She paused, “I can get him off planet.”

“If you still have that A-Wing,” the older woman started.

“I’ll worry about the A-Wing, you worry about staying off the radars,” Jayah interrupted.

Even though the sound didn’t come across the connection, she still almost felt the General chuckle. When she did respond, however, her voice was quite somber. “You should come back with him, Jayah. I could use you, the Resistance could use you.”

A lump formed in Jayah’s throat, “You know I can’t do that, Leia. Not after what happened.”

“That was not your fault. Red squadron was lost because of the actions of the First Order, not because your command,” Leia argued.

“They followed me, Leia. _Me,_ ” Jayah’s voice was hard as she responded. “You ordered me out and I pushed them on. If I had just listened…” 

“Jayah, the past is gone,” Leia interrupted her gently. “Now we have a more important need. You may think you can’t help, but I assure you, you can.”

Jayah sniffled, “You have pilots, you have squadrons. Hell, call in the Republic again. Get them off their asses! If the First Order is hunting you like Poe said, the Senate cannot ignore that anymore.”

“Jayah, the Senate is gone. The entire Republic fleet as been destroyed.”

Jayah blinked hard, “What? But… Hosnian Prime…”

“All of it,” Leia said gently. “The fleet, the entire Hosnian system. It’s all gone.”

Her knees felt weak, like they would give under her weight, and Jayah stumbled back into the side of her home to keep herself from falling. “No … that’s not — that’s … _How?_ ”

“They built a weapon, more massive than the Death Star ever was, called Starkiller Base. They used it to destroy Hosnian Prime, the fleet, the entire system,” the general explained solemnly.

Jayah’s knees did give now, her body sliding to the ground with the shock. “Oh no…”

Leia took a deep breath through comms, “We were able to destroy it. Han took a small crew to the surface, disabled the shields, and set off some explosives. It was enough to allow Poe and his squadrons to go in and land the blows to cause a chain reaction, disabling it for good.”

_Disabling it_ was Leia’s code for blowing it up.

Jayah ran her hand down her face, “Poe said you were being hunted by the First Order. I can see why now.”

“It’s worse than that,” the General continued. “Their fleet was able to track us to the base on D’Qar. We were able to evacuate and jump to hyperspace, but we lost our entire bomber squad taking out a Dreadnought. Then, they tracked us through hyperspace, attacking us again.”

“By the Force,” Jayah breathed, drawing her knees up to her chest and leaning her forehead onto them. “How many of you are left?”

A heavy pause followed before Leia responded, “Around 50 in my command made it out. We haven’t heard from all the outposts, but a few have reunited with us. Our numbers are close to 200 now. We have been hopping from old base to old base every two weeks.”

There was something in Leia’s voice that caught Jayah’s attention; something deep that had not been there before. A twinge of grief, like an ice cold breeze, came over her. “You lost Han,” she breathed into the comm link. “Leia, I … I’m so sorry.”

“Jayah,” Leia said, her voice strained. “We need you to come back. I need you to come back, to help Poe find that base, to help us …”

Jayah swallowed hard, tears stinging her eyes, “I—I’m sorry, I can’t. I can’t do that, not after … I wish I could, I wish I could just…”

“I understand,” Leia interrupted her gently, her voice back to the soft, reassuring tone. “I will only ask of you two things, Commander. Take care of my pilot and get him to the Kaladrian system in one piece.”

Jayah sniffled, wiping at her face with her hands, “I will, General. I swear it. I’ll get them there.”

“Then I know they’re in good hands. Now, try to get some rest yourself. You sound exhausted,” Leia commanded.

Jayah gave a watery chuckle, “Message received.”

“And I expect daily updates, you know the drill,” the older woman continued.

She did, as a matter of fact. “I would think nothing else, General.”

“And Commander Kryal?”

Jayah sucked in a breath at hearing the title yet again, “Yes, General?”

“The offer still stands, should you change your mind.”


	8. Chapter 7: Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There are mentions of torture in this chapter. Very minor, but here is your heads up. 
> 
> Also, I’m not very fond of this chapter. It feels rushed and like something is missing, but I couldn’t figure out what. I hope you guys enjoy it or at least tolerate it :S

Sleep was not something Jayah became acquainted with over the next two days. In fact, she full out avoided it. She just couldn’t shake the feeling that the moment she closed her eyes for more than a few minutes something would go wrong. **  
**

BB-8’s company was a solice, thankfully. The round little droid would constantly persuade Jayah to sit and try to nap, or just to lay down and rest. She would cave for a few hours, then sit and listen as the droid regaled her with its adventures and missions with Poe. A lot of it made her laugh, but mostly it made Jayah remember what it was all like — the Republic, the Resistance, being a part of something that mattered.

It also began to paint a picture of Poe that was deeper than what she had encountered that first night he and BB-8 arrived. A lot of her assumptions the little droid affirmed — committed to the Resistance, loyal to a fault to Leia, and a bit more cocky than he probably should be.

But BB-8 made Poe completely endearing in its stories, which did not surprise Jayah one bit. As it went on about prison breaks and flying reconnaissance missions and fact finding adventures and hijacking senators ships, she couldn’t help but smile. Poe Dameron was trouble, that was for damn sure.

During these times, Poe did occasionally regain consciousness, but never enough that Jayah felt he knew what was happening around him or where he was. He would groan in pain, the sound causing Jayah to grimace as she attempted to soothe him. She had hooked him up to the IV from his med kit after the first night, too worried he would become dehydrated and slow his recovery. When he was more lucid, she was raise his head and coax him to sip down some broth she had. Anything she could do made her feel just a bit more hopeful for him.

The bacta patches worked slowly, but helped. Each time Jayah changed his bandages — which she did religiously — she would see a bit of improvement. The wound closing, the angry red edges growing lighter.

It still worried her, however, that he remained mostly unconscious. She feared it was a sign there was something wrong neither her or BB-8 could see or fix.

On the third day, Jayah sat in her chair at the head of the bed, staring down as Poe’s face scrunched in obvious pain. Anxiety tightened her chest — the supply of pain medications, which were minimal at best, were running low and not helping him at all. Sweat had began to break out on his forehead and Jayah swallowed hard.

“BB-8,” she asked suddenly, coming to a decision and hoping it wasn’t going to be a huge mistake. “What do you know about Poe’s medical history?”

The droid turned from observing its pilot to look at her, letting out a thoughtful string of beeps and whistles; enough to answer any question Jayah may have, why?

“I think the pain he’s experiencing may be the reason he’s still unconscious. And the medications we have are not working enough,” Jayah started, taking a deep breath. “I have some nysillin…”

BB-8 gave a long, low whistle; that was some strong stuff, where did she get that?

She pursed her lips, running a hand through her loose hair, “The flowers grow on Felucia, but what most of the universe isn’t aware of is that it grows in patches here too.”

Well that could definitely take away Poe’s pain, BB-8 said.

“Yeah, but it’s pretty damn strong. And can be addicting,” she replied. “Which is why I need to know if he’s ever had it before?”

The little droid looked to Poe and then back to Jayah, wobbling back and forth — never, it said. And it added it felt like it was a risk worth taking. Poe could take a lot of pain, but this seemed to be hindering him getting better.

She agreed. So she dug into her medicine stores, pulling out the small container she had of the liquid drug. It didn’t take long to find a syringe in the med kit and prep a small dose — the most she would risk — to inject in Poe’s IV.

“Now we wait,” Jayah said, her voice heavy as she disposed of the needle and fell back in the chair.

BB-8 came up next to her; was she worried the medicine wouldn’t work?

“I’m worried it will work too well to be honest,” she voiced, rubbing the back of her neck. “I just hope I did the right thing.”

The droid didn’t answer at first, just staring at her. When Jayah turned to look at it, it nudged her leg almost affectionately. It beeped and booped softly — she should really get some sleep. She wasn’t going to be any good to Poe by running herself down.

She smiled at the little droid, scooting down in the chair and leaning back, “Something tells me those are words you’ve said before to someone, BB-8.”

BB-8 gave a sound that resembled something of a sigh, which caused her to chuckle. It spent a lot of time trying to convince Poe to do things that would be beneficial for him, BB said. He only listened to the little droid on a few occasions — usually if food were involved.

Jayah laughed at that, “Food is a good way to convince most men of things, BB.”

Did Jayah ever have a droid? It asked.

She pulled in a deep breath, folding her hands over her stomach. “I did, back when I was with the Republic. It was an R4 unit, kept me in line for sure,” she responded.

BB-8 whistled — every good pilot needs a droid to keep them in line. Pilots, BB-8 had observed, were usually a bit reckless.

Jayah smiled softly and nodded, “You will not hear any argument from me on that, little buddy.”

Her eyes were growing heavy again. They usually did when she sat for long periods of time. Her natural instinct was to get up and start moving around, doing something so she could be alert in case Poe has a particularly hard bout of pain or woke up again. She blinked slowly and felt her body shift of its own accord, moving to stand.

But BB-8 whirled and booped in annoyanced, coming to stand in front of her to prevent her from sitting up. Oh no you don’t, it said to her, you are staying there and you are going to rest.

Jayah pursed her lips and help up her hands in defeat, “Okay, okay. Message received.”

The little droid huffed and bwooped, rolling back over to its sentry spot at Poe’s side. She reminded it a lot of Poe; pure insubordination.

She tried very hard to not laugh at its choice of words. “I’m sorry, BB. It’s just habit at this point,” she apologized.

Well, the habit was breaking now, the droid replied. She was going to rest or it was going to zap her.

Knowing full well the droid’s sassiness was not to be tested, Jayah drew in a deep breath and re-situated herself in the chair. She gave Poe one last look, noting his brow had finally uncreased, his breathing steadying out. Feeling slightly at ease by the prospect, she let her eyes fall close without resistance.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

_Everything around her was dark, yet she had the distinct sensation — and fear — that she was falling. Finally, the spinning stopped, and Jayah groaned attempting to bring her hands up to her face to press back the aching pain that blossomed in her head. She couldn’t be sure, but she felt there was blood trickling down from her left temple. Only her wrists met the cool steel of restraints clamped around them. **  
**_

_She opened her eyes, slowly looking around and taking in her surroundings. She was strapped to an inclined platform, a lone light shining above her and messing with her sight. For some reason, she wasn’t surprised by where she found herself. It almost as if she knew she would find herself there when she opened her eyes._

_Jayah let her head fall back and closed her eyes again, willing herself to work through the pain. It was only temporary. Fleeting._

_Suddenly a door across the darkened room slid open and she heard more than saw the tall, lithe figure who walked in. She decided she was not going to give this person the satisfaction of acknowledgement, so she let her head fall to the side, staring at the contraption around her._

_The figure came in and stood a fair distance from her, almost as if it were expecting something from her. But she didn’t move, simply closed her eyes._

_“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board,” a gargled, mechanical voice reached her ears, the figure taking two steps closer to her._

_Jayah raised her head slowly, eyes opening to see the figure was cloaked, its mask completely hiding his face. A bout of anger surged through her, laced with a tinge of fear._

_“Comfortable?” the figure inquired, sarcasm evident in his voice._

_“Not really,” Jayah said, but her voice was not her own. It was deeper, male …_

_There was a moment of silence where she stared at the figure, its dark mask and hood hiding more than just his face. But he stared back in an obvious attempt to intimidate her. “I’m impressed,” he said calmly after a time, slowly closing the distance between them._

_“No one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map.” The last part he gritted out in obvious disdain; it was a tone she had heard from most First Order lackeys._

_She looked at him with complete indifference, “You might want to rethink your technique.”_

_A heart-stopping second passed where the man before her did not move; then suddenly his hand came up, and the air between them shifted. Suddenly her chest tightened and it felt hard to breath. Her skin began to prickle in pinpoints of pain and she grit her teeth, trying to fight it off. Jayah swallowed hard before she felt something slam her body back into the device she was strapped in. A deep groan left her as it felt like thousands of little strands seeped through her skull, picking and prodding._

_“Where is it?” he asked._

_With every bit of strength she had, Jayah fought against the Force. “The Resistance … will not be intimidated by you,” she ground out._

_The figure pushed forward and then pulled Jayah up from the seat again, “Where … is it?” he demanded._

_The strands crawled and tugged, making it feel as if her brain was being dismantled one tiny piece at a time. She felt a scream crawling up her throat as the pain intensified. She tried to fight, tried to push back, to do whatever she could … Scenes flashed in front of her. A dark haired woman with a beautiful smile, jungles zipping past her, Leia Organa leaning against a desk, BB-8 whirling and spinning about her in a circle … then fire, burning, flames._

_Jayah screamed, the sound tearing her throat._

Jayah gasped and jolted from her chair so harshly, she fell to the ground as her hands immediately went to her head. In the seconds that followed, she became aware of two things — BB-8 was practically rolling on top of her, speaking so quickly she couldn’t keep up with what it was saying; and Poe was moving on the bed, groaning in obvious pain. **  
**

“Shit,” Jayah said, her dream and momentary aches forgotten as she shot to her feet.

She sat on the bed next to Poe, gently pressing her hands to his chest to keep him from moving anymore than he had. “Shhh, Poe. Poe can you hear me?” she said softly, trying to stay calm.

He struggled against her hands, groaning softly as sweat beaded on his forehead. Jayah swallowed hard and placed one palm to his forehead, something compelling her to press her hand there. “Poe, please, you have to calm down,” she pleaded, worry overcoming her voice.

Poe sucked in a breath and turned his head from her, another soft groan leaving him. Jayah pursed her lips and moved his head back, again placing her palm against his forehead, “Poe listen to my voice. You’re fine, it’s okay. You’re alive, you’re here with me. BB-8 is here too. It’s okay.”

He fought another moment before his movements lessened; his panting breaths became longer, drawn out. His dark eyes fluttered open briefly and her heart caught, hopeful, but they closed again and he seemed to slip back into unconsciousness.

Jayah let out the breath she had apparently sucked in and ran her fingers up and through his unruly hair.

BB-8 came up to her; was Poe okay now?

She nodded and then dropped her head, “Honestly, BB-8, I don’t know. He’s settled. Maybe the reaction was to the nysillin.”

BB-8 beeped in disagreement; it just seemed like Poe was having a normal nightmare.

Jayah looked at the droid in concern. “Normal nightmare?” she asked, confused. “Does Poe have a lot of nightmares?”

The droid gave a sad sound, its head lowering; he didn’t use to, but ever since Jakku, it seemed like there were more and more.

“Jakku,” Jayah repeated, her brow furrowing as she sat up and turned a bit more to BB-8. “What happened on Jakku?”

BB-8 hesitated a moment, wobbling on its spot for a second before it delved into the story. How Poe was on a mission from the General to find a map to her brother Luke Skywalker, that the First Order showed up and destroyed the village that had helped them. The two of them were separated, BB-8 said, but Poe was taken hostage and tortured by Kylo Ren before he was rescued and escaped with Finn (who Jayah realized the droid expected her to know, but she did not).

When it finished, Jayah turned and looked back down to Poe. “What kind of torture, BB-8?” she asked softly.

The droid whistled; Poe had described it as Ren picking a part his brain.

She swallowed hard, scenes from her dream rushing back to the front of her brain. A crazy thought suddenly started to form; but no … she couldn’t have possibly … Jayah forced a calming breath through her lips. She couldn’t entertain irrational thoughts at the moment.

“Why does he do it, BB-8?” she asked instead. “Why does he take so many risks, go up against the First Order like he does?”

BB-8 seemed to take a minute to compute — because he always wants to do what is right. The First Order hurts people and Poe can’t stand by and let that happen. His parents sacrificed a lot, and almost lost their lives, fighting for what was right. Poe just wanted to do right by them and what they fought for.

Jayah bowed her head, suddenly remembering what she said to him that night he showed up in her hut, after he looked so relieved when she revealed her identity, asking for her help …

There was a time when she thought the same; that she couldn’t sit by and watch as people were bullied, threatened, killed. She had been orphaned by the Imperial Empire, the sadistic controllers robbed her of a family she never knew and when she became old enough to understand, she vowed to help make sure others wouldn’t suffer as she did.

She sighed, pressing a palm to Poe’s forehead again, “I’m going to help you help the Resistance, flyboy. But you’ve gotta meet me halfway already and wake up.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Poe Dameron was sure he was dead. And if he wasn’t, then kriffing hell he had to be close to it. Everything hurt — and by everything, he meant _everything_. As he came into consciousness slowly, his body felt like it weighed a couple tons and had been run over by herds of banthas.

He blinked his eyes open and groaned, only the sound was far, far worse. He started to move but gasped and fell backward again, a searing pain shooting down his side and burning through his limbs. **  
**

“Whoa, whoa,” a soft voice said. Poe felt the bed he was on move as someone sat next to him. A cool palm pressed against his cheek and another on the middle of his chest, gently pushing him down. “Don’t move too much, you’ll open your wound.”

He swallowed, his throat feeling dry as sand, and tried to open his eyes again. This time it worked and he found himself looking up at Jayah Kryal. He blinked slowly just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, but she was still there.

“Jayah?” he asked, his voice almost unrecognizable.

She smiled brightly, her blue eyes wide, “Hey there, flyboy. Welcome back to the world of the living.”

“What…” Poe started, but his throat burned so much, he couldn’t finish.

“First off, stop talking,” Jayah said gently, her cool hand moving to his neck and helping to raise his head. “Drink, slowly.”

She brought a cup up to his lips and Poe had to fight from sucking down the water quickly. The liquid felt amazing and she pulled away the cup too soon. When she gently lowered his head back, she brushed his hair off his forehead in a gentle motion he would not have expected from her before.

“You wrecked your X-Wing doing exactly what I told you not to do,” she said, her voice almost having a tint of amusement.

Poe groaned, “How long have I been out? And is BB-8 okay? Does the General know?”

“Easy, easy,” Jayah said calmly. “You’ve been out for about three days. BB-8 is fine, been by your side the entire time, and yes, Leia and I have … talked.”

He looked at her and opened his mouth to ask another question, but stopped. She looked as tired as he felt, honestly, but at the same time seemed so relieved, so calm.

At hearing its name, BB-8 began to beep and bwop from somewhere next to Poe. The pilot turned his head and saw the round droid, smiling in genuine relief, “Hey there, little buddy. What did I tell you, huh? I knew she’d take care of you.”

The droid wobbled and beeped excitedly, talking so quickly Poe’s hazy brain almost couldn’t keep up. When it finished, Jayah sighed next to Poe looking down at the droid fondly, “BB-8, you shouldn’t exaggerate to him,” she chastised softly.

He looked at her, “Is it true? Did you drag me out?” he asked her.

She turned to him, her tired blue eyes sincere, “Yeah. BB-8 helped me get you patched up. We’ve both been keeping an eye on you.”

BB-8 let out an indignant bwop; Jayah had hardly been sleeping or eating, checking on Poe diligently. He was alive because of Jayah, the little droid declared proudly.

Poe let out a heavy breath, moving a hand on top of Jayah’s resting on his chest still, “Thank you,” he said, letting his head fall back. “Thank you for saving me.”

She was staring at him, wide-eyed and after a moment, she slowly pulled her hand from under his. “Anyone would have done it. It was the right thing to do,” she answered quietly, moving off the bed.

“You’d be surprised,” he said, watching her. “And no, not everyone would have done it. It means a lot that you did. Not just because I’m alive, but that you looked after BB-8 too, and contacted the General.”

When Jayah came back to his side, leaning over him to put a cool rag on his burning forehead, Poe gently reached out and grabbed her other hand, “There’s a lot of people counting on me. If I had gone down and no one knew…”

He didn’t know what he expected from her — after that first night, his only knowledge of her told him she would pull away and brush off his words. But he was starting to realize this wasn’t the same woman he met that first day on the moon. Something was telling him that the Jayah Kryal sitting next to him now was truly who Leia sent him to find.

“You don’t have to worry, okay?” she said gently, taking the rag down one side of his face, then the other. “You’re going to be alright. And, I sort of have a plan.”

She smiled softly at him and something in his chest tugged. “A plan?”

Jayah nodded, “Yup. I’m going to get you and BB-8 to Kaladria.”

Poe shifted, “But…”

“Ah, nope,” she interrupted, pushing against his chest again. “You can’t help anyone if you don’t heal up. Now BB-8 and I have worked really hard to get you to this point. You’ve got to help us with the rest. And that means not over doing it. Plus, you don’t have to worry. Like I said, I have a plan.”

He looked up at her, brow furrowed, “I don’t get it. You had made it clear…”

She sighed, her face falling for the first time since he opened his eyes and he found himself regretting his choice of words.

“Leia told me what happened; with the Republic, how the First Order killed everyone and then nearly destroyed the entire Resistance,” she said softly. “I know you had said they were hunting you, but I had no idea and now …”

She paused, drawing in a breath, “Look, I can’t go with you. It’s a long story, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help. I can get you off this moon and to the old base. And I promise I will.”

Poe stared at her for what felt like the longest time. “I …,” he started and had to stop and purse his lips, fighting against his fatigue to say what he felt he needed to. “I just … thank you.”

A soft, rueful smile came back to her lips as she stood from her spot again, “You’re welcome. And I’ll remember you said that when you try to get up in the next day or two.”

He chuckled softly, feeling his eyes droop. “I would argue, but I think we both know that’ll be pointless.”

The last thing he heard was Jayah laugh, “Exactly. Plus I have BB-8, and we both know from experience how persistent it can be.”


	9. Chapter 8: Shara Bey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All right, commence the romance part of the story! And the slow burn, lol. Also, I didn’t edit this very well, please forgive me. Also, also, I love Shara Bey and Kes Dameron so damn much; I mean, seriously.

Poe Dameron was more than likely good at a number of things, Jayah figured. Piloting was at the top. He also had quite a funny sense of humor, she was finding. And he was good at passing time talking with BB-8 and, in turn, her. He was very inquisitive and observant — pointing out different things in her hut and asking her about them, asking about the moon, the weather, the other creatures that inhabited the surface. **  
**

But one thing Poe Dameron was not good at was staying still.

As Jayah pulled out the med kit for a new bacta patch and fresh gauze, he huffed a long sigh. She pursed her lips to hide her smile and continued to take her time to pull out the materials she needed. When she came over and sat on the bed next to and facing him, she noted he was fiddling with the gauze of his sling holding his arm in place. And he heaved another sigh, shifting on the bed.

Jayah couldn’t help the soft chuckle that left her. He looked over at her in confusion, “What?” he asked.

She shook her head, “Nothing. You just seem put out, is all.”

Another sigh. Jayah laughed again, causing Poe to roll his eyes. When she looked up at him, propped against the wall and near pouting, she bit her lower lip to keep from smiling. When he looked up and caught her, he sighed … again.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice sounding so downtrodden, Jayah felt a little bad for laughing at him. “I’m just not used to be laid up like this, unable to do anything.”

She took a little pity on him, scooting closer, “I know this isn’t easy on you,” she said softly. “I shouldn’t laugh. If I were in your spot, I would be trying to climb the walls too.”

As she started to undo the bandages around his sides, she felt Poe’s eyes on her. “Well, I can’t imagine this has been easy on you either,” he said softly, thoughtfully.

Jayah looked up at him and smirked, “Oh you know, you keep things interesting to say the least. Most exciting thing that’s happened to me in three years here.”

She felt him stiffen as she worked, causing her to pause, fearful she hurt him. When her gaze turned back up to him, he was looking at her with disbelief in his brown eyes. “What?” she asked, a little concerned.

“That’s how long you’ve been here? Three years?” Poe asked, his voice mirroring the look on his face.

Jayah realized she didn’t even hesitate when she gave the information away. She pursed her lips and went back to removing the spent bacta patch on his side, “Give or take. I don’t keep as close a count on the days anymore. Just didn’t seem important.”

When she chanced a look at him again, his head was bent and he had a pensive look on his face. It was endearing really. She checked the derma clips over his wound, gently touching his skin, “Well, good news is you are healing pretty fast considering. The batch patches and derma clips have this thing nearly closed,” she reported to him, turning away briefly to open a new patch.

As she placed the fresh bacta on his wound, he sucked in a breath. She grimaced, “Sorry,” she mumbled as she finished up.

He held the pensive look until she was done and when she pulled back, she couldn’t help but feel like even though something was really bugging him, he wasn’t going to say anything unless she prompted him.

“That’s a deep look there,” she remarked as she stood, going to throw the dirty bandages in the fire and wash up her hands.

“I just …” Poe started, faltering in his words before he continued. “I guess I realized I don’t much about you. You saved my life and I’ve just got bits and pieces of what Leia relayed to me before I left.”

Jayah poured him a cup of water, noticing the rasp in his voice, and moved back over to sit next to him on the bed. She handed him the cup and gave him a sympathetic smile, “I understand. I don’t know much about you either, expect what BB-8 there has passed on in its stories.”

He gave a soft snort before he raised the cup to his lips and took a long, grateful drink. “I’m sure those have been glowing, enlightening little tales,” he said, his voice heavy with sarcasm and a bit of fatigue already.

She couldn’t help but laugh a bit, “Well, you’d be surprised. BB-8 is quite fond of you, if not frustrated at times.”

That brought a laugh from him as well, and Jayah was happy to hear him perk up a bit. “It’s a great droid. Seen me through a lot of stuff, haven’t you, buddy?” he called out to the round droid.

BB-8 beeped in the affirmative, adding that it had, in fact, saved Poe’s life at least 18 times.

“And each one was appreciated, BB,” the pilot confirmed, flashing Jayah a bright smile. “Keeps me on my toes, that one.”

For some reason, Jayah felt a little heat rise to her cheeks. “How did you guys get together?”

Poe chuckled, “Yeah, about that.” He scrubbed the back of his neck with his good hand. “A mix of luck and me being a persistent bastard.”

When he didn’t continue, Jayah gave him an expectant look. He shrugged. “Oh come on,” she said. “You can’t say that and then not expect me to want to know.”

BB-8 chirped from the side of the bed — he picked me even though no one else wanted a BB unit for a droid and the techs told him not to pick me.

Jayah’s mouth dropped open in surprise, “Why would they wouldn’t want Poe to pick you? You’re a great droid, BB-8!”

She turned back to Poe, feeling indignation on behalf of BB-8 for the past transgression of techs she didn’t even know, “Why would they tell you not to pick BB?”

A fond look came to Poe’s face, his lips turning up into a soft smile, “They said he was too precocious, too childlike. That the first battle we would get into, he would panic too much to be of any use.” He paused and looked down at the droid, “They were eating their words, weren’t they, buddy?”

BB-8 proudly agreed – Poe’s S-coils were hit and the little droid easily kept its cool, fixing the ship quickly to allow Poe to maneuver and take out the enemy.

Jayah grinned at the droid before turning to Poe, “What made you ignore the techs?”

He pursed his lips, “My mom always told me to make up my own mind about something. And to trust my gut. I knew BB-8 would do his job, even if everyone doubted him. He was eager, so was I. We just seemed to fit.”

“Your mom sounds like she knows what she’s talking about,” she said.

A wistful smile came to Poe’s lips, “Yeah. She was great.”

His eyes then went wide, his good hand immediately going to his neck. Jayah watched in confusion as his face fell in complete and utter disappointment.

“What is it?” she asked, concern filling her.

“Nothing just … I guess I lost my necklace in the crash. It had her wedding ring on it,” he said quietly, his voice filled with defeat and loss.

Jayah stood with a bit of excitement, moving over to her hearth and picking up the necklace that had fallen from his shirt days before. “Well, it’s your lucky day, flyboy,” she said, turning back to hold out the piece of jewelry to him.

He looked at the ring with wide eyes, gently taking it from her, before he looked back to her with a gratitude she couldn’t say she had ever seen directed to her before, “Jayah … thank you. I mean that, this is … well it’s really important to me,” he said sincerely.

She took up her spot again on the bed, “When did you lose her?” she asked softly.

Poe slipped the necklace over his neck, picking up the ring and examining it. “I was 8. We’re not sure why she went, but the doctors thought it may have been effects from all her missions with the Rebel Alliance.”

“Your mom was a part of the rebellion?” Jayah asked curiously. She didn’t want to pry too much, but he had peaked her curiosity.

“Oh yeah, Mom and Dad both. She was an A-Wing pilot and he was a pathfinder,” he explained, leaning back against the wall and getting comfortable. “Lieutenant Shara Bey of Green Squadron and Sergeant Kes Dameron of General Han Solo’s strike team.”

She blinked at him once, then twice. Realization sunk in and her mouth fell open again. Before she could stop herself, Jayah scooted closer to him, “Wait a minute. You’re telling me that your mother was Shara Bey? You are the son of Shara Bey?”

Poe looked confused and amused at the same time, “Yes?”

She scoffed and then felt a giddy smile come to her face, “The same Shara Bey who earned a Bronze Nova and her triple ace within a week of each other? Who led the defense of Naboo during Operation Cinder and kicked complete Imperial ass during that dog fight?”

He laughed, “I have a feeling you know of her.”

“Are you kidding, Poe? I have read every file and report on Shara Bey at least three times over,” Jayah replied. “The commander who got me into flight school flew with her and told me all about her. Her, Hera Syndulla, Leia, the all female squadrons of the Rebellion… I grew up in academy on that stuff.”

A pensive look came to his face as his head leaned back against the wall and his eyes closed, “I think she’d be happy to hear that.”

Jayah pursed her lips, watching him carefully as she formed her next words just as cautiously. “Did she tell you stories? Or your dad. Did they talk about the war, where they fought,” she paused, suddenly becoming shy and ducking her head. “About what happened at all?”

She heard Poe shift, “Mom wasn’t too big on talking about any of it. She spent more time talking about those around her who had helped, teaching me the importance of what they fought for. Dad was the storyteller; his favorite was the Battle of Endor and anything about Mom, especially after she passed away. It was his way of keeping her alive for the both of us.”

Jayah didn’t say anything in response, turning over the new information in her mind. She often wondered what many of the pilots she read about were like. They of course were brave, almost flawless. She wanted to be like them; selfless, loyal, the best…

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you about the war? Did they fight?” Poe asked suddenly, drawing her out of her thoughts.

Her head pulled up quickly, meeting his inquisitive gaze. She swallowed hard and stood, taking his empty cup and going to refill it. “I never knew my parents,” she said softly.

BB-8 beeped softly and sadly. Poe shifted again on the bed, “I’m sorry, Jayah. Were they killed?”

Another hard swallow and she turned to him, handing him the water and some pain meds from the pack. “You’re up for a dose,” she said simply.

He looked taken back by her nonchalant shifting of the subject but held out his hand for her to drop the pills into. Once he popped them into his mouth, he took the water. She turned from him straight away, hoping to have closed the door on her past before he cracked it back open again.  True to her usual form, she began to move about, busying herself with making their supper for the night rather than carry on the conversation … or rather let it go down paths she wasn’t quite ready to follow.

After a few moments, she heard Poe groan softly and turned to see him attempting to move the pillow behind him.

“Poe,” she chastised, rushing over to help him rearrange himself. “Stubborn,” she joked softly, hoping to ease the tension she had created.

When he was settled, she pulled back and caught him looking at her. “What?”

He shook his head, “I never apologized to you.”

She huffed out a laugh, “For what?”

“That first night, the way I judged you and acted toward you.”

Jayah took up her spot again, running a hand through her hair, “Well, I wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy either. I think it’s safe to say we just had a few misunderstandings.”

Poe nodded in agreement and pursed his lips, “Maybe if we get to know each other, that won’t happen in the future?”

She felt a warmth run through her she couldn’t explain as she gave him a soft smile, “I think I’d like that. Plus you know, we’ve got plenty of time on our hands while you’re on the mend.”

“There are worse ways to whittle away the day,” he offered as she stood and stirred their dinner. “And I’m an open book, just ask BB-8.”

The droid let out a noise Jayah interpreted as a scoff.

“Well first off, we’re going to eat and then you are going to sleep, Commander Dameron,” she instructed.

He groaned again, this time in frustration, “I think I’ve slept enough for a lifetime.”

“Possibly, but if you’re going to get better, you need to rest more. Those meds will knock you out too, pretty good from what I can remember,” she said, spooning up a bowl for him.

“Okay, I’ll follow orders,” Poe said, smirking at her as she brought him the bowl. “But if I do, you have to answer one question for me when I wake up tomorrow morning.”

The thought caused Jayah to swallow hard, “What kind of question?”

“That is yet to be determined,” he said around his bite of food. “What do you say?”

Really, it scared the kriffing shit out of her. She didn’t want him to pity her and she most certainly didn’t feel ready to break the fragile friendship they had started to form. If he found out what she had truly done that brought about her exile, he might go back on his thought of being friendly.

“Come on, you can’t be that scared,” he teased.

Oh if you only knew, flyboy, she thought. “Eat first. And sleep. Then we’ll see.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Talking with Jayah gave him something to look forward to; it didn’t occur to him the first day, but by the second, Poe realized he had woken up before her and felt disappointed he had to wait for her to sleepily roll over and blink awake. **  
**

Then he felt guilty, because after she fell asleep the other night, BB-8 told him how she had pretty much not slept for three days. All for him.

That struck Poe deeply. And peeled back another layer of this woman who had been alone for three years on a deserted moon.

He had bargained with her to ask a question of her, but seeing her slight panic at being asked about her past made him exercise caution. So instead of asking about her parents again as he had really wanted to, he asked about her first mission.

Jayah looked at him skeptically, those big blue eyes telling him she saw right through him. But she gave into him, hesitantly explaining an escort mission with a few Senators to Naboo. Poe greedily took it, and readily gave back.

He couldn’t believe her enthusiasm about his mother. And not just his mother Shara Bey, amazing pilot. Jayah would ask him questions about what Shara was like at home, in their house, out in their fields on Yavin IV. What was Shara like as a mom? Was she strict, did she cook, did she make him make his bed?

At first, Poe was taken back by the questions because they were … well, weird.

Then she gave him that precious piece of information, one that he could tell she kept close to her chest — that she never knew her mother or her father.

Jayah had no idea if she favored one parent over the other; did she have her mother’s hair like Poe did, or her father’s eyes like he did?

Poe couldn’t imagine it. It was hard enough losing his mother at 8 years old, but if he had never known her? It was a thought he didn’t entertain at all.

So, unable to refuse her, he answered each of her questions to the best of his knowledge. And in turn, Jayah would give him more information about herself without prompting. The most surprising came after he told her the one story his mother had conceded to tell him when he was young — about working with Jedi Luke Skywalker to steal pieces of a Force tree from the Empire.

She sat at the other end of the bed the entire time, knees up to her chest and her chin resting on them as she listened to him. Jayah’s face has been impassive the entire time, but her eyes gave away everything.

“So Luke gave her a bit of the tree to plant and take care of on Yavin. She and Dad planted it as soon as they got home; I remember being fascinated with it as a kid,” he finished, trying not to obviously stare at her as he told his story.

She smiled at him after, taking a deep breath and turning to gaze around her hut, as if she were searching for something. At first, Poe thought she had not liked the story after all. But then she rested her cheek on her knees.

“I grew up in an orphanage on Hosnian Prime,” Jayah started, her voice soft. “I commandeered the room on the top floor that had a window where you could see the squadrons take off for patrols.”

Poe watched her as she spoke, already listing a dozen questions in his mind he wanted to ask her.

“I would just sit and watch them take off and come in and land. Didn’t matter which squadron, I knew each patrol window by heart. I’d sneak away from chores, be late to the gen ed courses, stay up all night, just to watch them all take off together. It was simple, but it was comforting,” she continued. “You could rely on them. They would go out at the same time, come in at the same time. Twelve out, 12 in.”

The fire crackled as neither one of them said anything. Poe licked his lips and decided to go for it.

“How long did you live there? At the orphanage?” he asked.

Jayah pulled in a breath, moving to rest her chin on her knees again and finally look at him. “Until I was accepted into academy.”

He felt his eyes go wide, and he opened his mouth to question again, to echo her words of disbelief when she learned about BB-8 being discounted by the Republic techs. Because he just couldn’t believe that; how could no one want to take her in for her whole life? But seeing the far away and sad look on her features, pulling her lips down in a frown, Poe changed his tactic.

“How did you rank?” he asked.

That brought a more genuine smile to her face; not a full smile, but still a good one. “Top with honors, you?”

“Top, barely with honors,” he answered, getting the response he wanted — a laugh.

“What do you mean barely?”

“Welllll, I had this knack for pulling pranks.”

Jayah laughed again and Poe smiled, already feeling better.


	10. Chapter 9: Revelations

“You did not.” **  
**

“I did too!”

“I don’t believe you.”

Jayah laughed, “Well then that’s your problem, flyboy, because I totally did. General Antilles said I broke all previous records on the run.”

Poe gave her a skeptical look but she could tell he was trying to hide a smirk, “Sure you did, sweetheart.”

She rolled her eyes, still smiling, “You’re just jealous because that means I obviously broke your run or you didn’t even come close to mine.”

He scoffed and stretched his arms — she had taken off his sling that morning and he seemed giddy at the new movement he was allowed. The gash on his side had finally closed as well, providing Jayah a breath of relief. No infection, no signs of swelling, not too much pain restricting his movements. He would still need to take it easy for a day or two, but it looked good. It was a blessing, to say the least. After those first three days, she looked at his fast healing as a gift from the stars and didn’t dare question it.

Poe’s mood seemed to improve as well. He wasn’t as tired anymore, though the pain medication did knock him out when she made him take it. But he was sulking less, talking a lot, and making her laugh. After three years on her own, she wasn’t always keen to talk. But Jayah found he had a knack for making her less likely to hold back and give into his infectious attitude more and more.

But there was still something that would always trip her up. It was like there was a line in the sand, and every time Poe brought her close to it, Jayah would hesitate and jump back, too afraid to even tiptoe close.

But other things were not that difficult to share, and became easier to talk about. She opened up freely about her missions and time with the Republic — Poe nearly fell off the bed laughing at her story of nearly getting demoted. It happened when she challenged a different squadron’s loud-mouthed captain to a race, won it, then punched him because he accused her of cheating. Then there was the time she did a fly over for the old orphanage she’d lived in — not to get back at them because it wasn’t a bad place, but just because the kids talked about it _incessantly_ when she visited the next time. 

That one brought about more questions from Poe than her near-demotion. **  
**

“So you still visited the place?” he asked, munching around a piece of bread, eyebrow cocked in thinly veiled skepticism.

With Poe Dameron, Jayah learned, this look and tone of voice was not questioning because he didn’t believe her — it was just pure, unabashed curiosity.

“Of course I did,” she responded. “It was home. Why wouldn’t I go home? The caretakers were not bad people. I had food, a roof over my head, a good education. I got into the Republic Navy flight academy for stars’ sake, and they encouraged me to do that.”

He gave her a small smile she was becoming too fond of and her chest tightened, “Doesn’t sound bad at all. I guess I shouldn’t assume things, huh?”

She rolled her eyes playfully and tossed a piece of her bread at him, “No you shouldn’t.”

“Okay so, other than the obvious, why did you go back?” Poe asked, his voice taking a note of seriousness.

Jayah took a moment to think about it — not her answer, but if she was ready to forfeit that information. One thing that she never wanted from anyone was pity. Finally, she looked at him, staring at her hopefully, but trying to not be obvious. She wondered if he knew how truly charming he could be when he wasn’t trying.

She pursed her lips, “Well … I wanted the kids to feel like they had something to look forward to. It sounds selfish, but seeing them light up when I’d walk in … it felt good.” She paused and swallowed hard, dropping her gaze, “Maybe we didn’t have traditional families, but I wanted them to know we had each other. And that they could do anything they wanted; just because we were orphans didn’t mean we were defective in any way.”

It wasn’t a lie; Jayah had wanted them to feel that or have hope at least. Because she knew what it was like to grow up wondering — why didn’t anyone want her? Did her parents not have families who cared? Was there something so wrong with her that she didn’t belong? That all led to the deepest, darkest thought of all. One she didn’t know if she could ever share …

Her words had caused that pensive look to come across Poe’s face again. A few errant curls fell down on his forehead and he raised his hand, brushing his fingers through them. “Do you … you know what happened to your parents?”

He had been so cautious over the last day or two, she had to give him credit there. And part of her knew this question was coming. Poe was respectful, but she still knew he was wanting to know.

Jayah pulled in a deep, calming breath, telling herself that she couldn’t run from it forever.

“The only thing my caregivers knew was that they were killed in the war. Never knew what battle, if they were civilian, Rebels, or ….” she stopped there, unable to even voice the final possibility. She forced the fear back and trudged on. “They told me a group of Rebel fighters stumbled upon me on some planet in the Outer Rim. They would never offer any more details than that.”

They both became silent after. Jayah tried her damnedest not to look at him, to see if he was throwing her a look of pity or if he was starting to wonder the same things she did in the middle of the night. She sighed worriedly, rubbing the back of her neck in an attempt to tell herself it didn’t matter. Nothing could change who she was, or the choices she had made to lead her to Felucia VI.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, she heard him shift on the bed, leaning toward her. Instinct had her immediately turning her attention to him, wondering if something physically was wrong and if she should help. But he simply moved closer to her, looking as if he were trying to decide if he could reach out to her and not startle her. Jayah immediately dropped her head, feeling completely ridiculous at the thought.

“Jayah, whoever your parents were,” Poe started, and then paused, ducking his head so that his eyes caught hers. “Their actions and lives do not get to define who you are.”

It was a nice thought, one she had actually heard several times. But something in her mind told her it wasn’t that simple. Jayah had been left in that orphanage for a reason. And while she had truly been thankful for all her caregivers had done for her, it was that fact that continued to haunt her.

Jayah suddenly didn’t feel like sharing stories anymore. She curled inward, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. Her mind went down memories and paths she had not visited in a long time, things she had tried to forget. She was not ready to confront them again.

She wasn’t sure how long they had sat in silence, but when Poe moved again, it drew Jayah’s attention back to him.

“Did I ask too much?” he asked, his voice quiet and his eyes filled with concern.

Guilt flooded her and Jayah shook her head, “No. I just … I mean.” She rested her forehead against her knees, feeling completely stupid. _Three years ago, this would have never happened,_ her brain viciously teased.

She forced in a breath, “It’s stuff I haven’t talked about with anyone for a long time. It’s not easy.” **  
**

Poe mumbled a curse under his breath before he reached out again and this time laid his hand on her hands clasped in front of her, “I didn’t mean…”

“No, I know,” Jayah started quickly, feeling her face flush. She didn’t want the pity. Anything but the pity. “You don’t have to pity me or worry about it.”

His brow furrowed, “Pity? Is that what you think I…”

Huffing out a breath, she quickly scrambled from the bed, “Look, let’s just … change the subject,” she said lamely, grabbing a log and tossing it on the dying fire.

When she turned back, Poe carefully moved to the edge of the bed and stood. He had been doing this more — getting up and moving slowly around the hut. She had told him he should only do it a few times a day. Even now as he stepped toward her, a rebuke was on her lips, but she knew he was too stubborn to convince otherwise.

“Jayah,” he stopped a foot or so in front of her. Enough to speak softly, intimately, but not too close as to scare her. “You know you don’t have to answer any question you don’t want to.”

“No, I know,” she replied quickly, softly. She took a deep breath and crossed her arms, “I’ve just never been much of a sharer.”

When Jayah chanced a look up at him, his lips were pursed as his eyes studied her. Her arms moved until she was hugging herself and her eyes turned down, “You ever been in a crowd or around a lot of people and still feel completely alone?”

She looked back up at him, schooling her face, “I’ve always felt like I couldn’t talk about it. Even with my squadron…” Her words halted again as her chest seized and she sucked in a hard breath.

“Hey,” Poe said softly, reaching out and gently touching her elbow. “I understand. It’s okay.”

Jayah closed her eyes and swallowed hard; this was getting out of control.

He suddenly squeezed her elbow, “I bet BB-8 has a good story to share. Technically, it’s his turn.”

She huffed out a soft laugh, instantly feeling herself relax. “He did tell me he’s had a few adventures on his own.”

The small droid was roused out of its sleep state at the mention of its name, beeping and booping as it rolled into view and said it would gladly tell Jayah a story.

“What do you say, huh?” Poe asked softly, his tone hopeful. “One last story for the day?”

Jayah looked at the droid and then to Poe. Something told her the memories weren’t done haunting her for the day. But she would try her damnedest to ignore them.

“Yeah, one last story.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

It had been six days since his crash; though the concept of the time was severely skewed for Poe as he had been unconscious for the majority of it. But the last couple days had been good. He felt stronger, less prone to sleeping most of the day.

And, most of all, he was ready to be up and moving about.

Not that he wasn’t enjoying his company. Poe would readily and _gladly_ admit Jayah had been quite the surprise. The little moments where she had started to open up to him, to smile more, to relax around him had been the reason he would fight his fatigue and stay awake longer than he probably should.

Just 30 more minutes might mean another mission story swap between them, another moment of her talking gently with BB-8, or another soft smile sent his way. **  
**

At the moment, Poe felt wide awake as he sat up on the bed, leaning back on his good arm. Jayah was right next to him, her eyes fixated on his side as one of her hands lifted his shirt and the other gently probed at his quickly-healing wound.

He felt like a live wire, his eyes watching her face as she examined him. Her fingers were gentle and soft, and Poe had to focus hard on breathing deeply, evenly. His gaze traveled along her cheek, brushed over her slightly parted lips, up the curve of her small nose, and settled on those blue eyes, the long lashes …

“Well,” Jayah started slowly. “As far as I can tell, you’re still healing nicely and fast. I don’t see any signs of infection.”

Her tone was light and optimistic. “That’s good,” Poe answered, keeping his voice light as well. “I think that can be attributed to my amazing nurse.”

She flicked those blue eyes up to his; he could see the spark of a laugh in them before she dropped them back to his skin. “You’re pretty damn lucky, you know that?” she asked.

“Eh, this isn’t even the worst I’ve been through,” he said, playing it off. He always played it off, but in this case it really wasn’t that far from the truth. He could count on one hand the number of missions or incidents that were worse that crashing that old X-Wing.

Jayah shook her head as she scoffed a laugh, “Why am I not surprised?”

To that, Poe didn’t have an answer. He simply went back to studying her. She was single-minded when she wanted to be, he admitted. As she reapplied a new bacta patch (one of the last ones, she figured), it seemed her focus was narrowed on just that. Her golden, rosy hair was falling free of the loose bun she had pulled it back into — Poe clenched his fist to keep from reaching out and tucking it back into place. He wasn’t quite sure why.

Her hand moved along his skin, lower than where the wound sat, and Poe involuntarily clenched his stomach, huffing out a chuckle as his head fell back.

Jayah immediately froze, “Did I hurt you?” she asked, her voice changing to immediate concern.

Poe laughed again and shook his head, turning his eyes back to her, “No. That tickled.”

The statement caught her off guard for just a moment, a beautiful expression of confusion fluttering across her features. And then her face broke into a smile and she laughed too, “Oh, sorry. I guess I didn’t realize you were ticklish.”

“Not a problem,” he answered as she finished up her task.

With the new patch in place, Jayah dropped his shirt back down and took a deep breath. “Okay, flyboy, time to see your head,” she said, discarding the protective backing of the patch back on the ground.

Poe obliged her by tilting his head to one side for her. He should have bent his head completely, a rational voice that sounded a lot like his father said, but if he had done that, then he wouldn’t get to see her face.

He sucked in a deep breath as her fingers dived into his hair and bit his lower lip to keep from letting out a noise that would have been pretty bad.

“Sorry,” she whispered, her voice reflecting the sentiment.

 

“No, no, it’s fine,” he stumbled out. Really it was more than _fine_ ; it had been an awfully long time since someone had run their hands through his hair and he had forgotten how nice it felt.

Jayah’s fingers worked gently along the spot where he had knocked his head pretty hard; Poe watched her and noted how her nose scrunched when she was thinking. **  
**

“Does it still hurt?” she asked.

He started to shake his head and then caught himself, “Not as much. But I don’t feel dizzy or anything anymore,” he said.

She pulled her hands back, “That’s good then. Looks like you’re well on your way,” she commented.

Then, she curled a finger under his chin and tipped his head up as she hovered above him. Poe’s breath unknowingly caught in his throat. _Stars, she’s beautiful,_ fluttered through is mind and he swallowed hard. 

Whatever look he had on his face made Jayah smirk as she moved her gaze to check the other cuts on his cheek and at his hairline, “Well, Commander Dameron, I dare say you will live through this,” she said, humor in her words. **  
**

Poe grinned brightly, “Thanks to you.”

He enjoyed the flush that colored high on her cheeks. Really, he had no right to be enjoying this as much as he was, but he didn’t care. Despite the rocky start, what had happened had given him a rare opportunity — to start over with her. And Poe could say without a shadow of a doubt, getting to know Jayah during his recovery was something that had not only been a pleasure, but helped him in more ways than one.

He felt a kindred spirit with her, not only in her being a fellow pilot, but in the experiences they both had shared. The losses and the grief. Leia had warned him Jayah was more than meets the eye and he didn’t take that caution to heart. He knew now he should have.

Jayah’s hand gave one more sweep through his hair as their eyes met and suddenly the unbridled desire to kiss her lept to the front of Poe’s mind. All he would have to do was gently take her arm and bring her closer; a mere six inches or so, and he could lean up and …

She broke eye contact first, dropping her head and smiling shyly, which made him feel good.

“I know you’re feeling better and probably itching to get up and out,” she started, moving about to clean up from her inspection of his wounds.

Poe pulled in a deep breath to calm himself, “That’s an understatement.”

She looked back at him to playfully roll her eyes, “However, I don’t think you’re quite ready for a full-blown adventure yet.”

He pulled a face, “You’re probably right. But I guess that depends on what you’re thinking of doing,” he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Jayah threw a rag at him, hitting him square in the chest, “Get over yourself,” she replied good-naturedly.

Poe laughed, throwing the rag back at her, landing it on her head. “Seriously, though. Do you have chores you need to run today? Another injured pilot you must go off and rescue?” he asked.

She pulled the rag off her head, “No, you’re quite enough for me, thank you.” Sitting down in the chair near her table, she pursed her lips. “I actually do have ‘chores,’ as you say. Our water supply is too low for my liking. And honestly … I’ve been itching to poke around the X-Wing crash. I’m sure I could rig a way to help BB-8 get some charging in to avoid shutting down so much. I think it’s been stressing him out, not being awake when you are.”

_Well if that isn’t the quickest way to my heart,_ Poe thought randomly, shaking his head. 

Still, the gesture made him smile brightly as BB-8 whooped excitedly, chirping and beeping along about how it felt it was missing so much. **  
**

“That would be great, actually,” he responded as well. He then held up his hand as if to make an oath, “I solemnly swear that while you are away, I will be on my best behavior. I’ll stay grounded.”

Jayah raised a delicate eyebrow, looking skeptical of his claim. “You absolutely swear?” she asked.

Poe drew an x over his heart, “Cross my heart, sweetheart.”

She drew in a deep breath, almost like a resignation, and he wondered why she was hesitant to believe him. _Considering you took off and wrecked your X-Wing when she told you not to seems a pretty good reason,_ the voice sounded again. Her eyes swept over him, leaning back on her bed, and Poe felt something in his gut turn. He wondered what she was thinking.

“You better not make me regret this,” she said, a little threat in her voice as she stood. **  
**

It only made him grin, “I would never,” he responded.

Jayah let out a huff and shook her head as she gathered up her blaster, knife, and a sackel for what he guessed would be gathering materials. She then grabbed the large container she kept the water stores in and paused, looking back at him. Her lips parted as if she were going to say something, but then thought better of it. Instead, she moved toward the door.

But again she paused, sitting down the container and turning back to Poe. He felt himself sit up straighter, wondering what she was going to say. But she surprised him by chuckling to herself, shaking her head before she directed her gaze to BB-8.

“Keep him in line, okay?” she asked.

The droid beeped that it had more experience than Jayah knew in that regard.

“Hey,” Poe said indignantly, smiling at his droid.

Well it’s true, BB-8 chirped back before telling Jayah to be careful.

“Yes, be careful,” he echoed, looking back to her. “We’ll be sitting ducks if something happened to you.”

To that, she only smiled softly and then turned and was out the door.


	11. Chapter 10: Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, it’s happening. More tropes, yaaaaas. lol Seriously though, don’t judge me. This idea popped into my head a near the beginning of plotting this thing and it wouldn’t let go. Also, I let it get away from me … so it’s a really long chapter at just over 5,000. Eep.

Commander Syna Cote had taught Jayah more than she would ever want to know about X-Wings. It really had never been enough, but still the decorated Republic Navy pilot and commander had passed on her knowledge and then some to a young, wide-eyed Jayah. Through all the technical terms, the tricks of formations, and tips on mechanical fixes, there was one thing that always came to Jayah’s mind when she first approached a ship …

_“Ships almost always tend to reflect their pilots, in one way or another. Even if we’ve only known them for a few missions, there’s something that happens when you get in a cockpit. It’s like you become one.”_

As Jayah stood in front of the blackened, crumpled wreckage of Poe’s former X-Wing, Cote’s words hit her suddenly. Physically, the ship reflected Poe’s earlier state after the crash. And if BB-8’s information was anything to go off of, it possibly reflected a bit of his spirit as well when he arrived on Felucia VI.

And it still was surprising as all hell he made it out of it alive.

Her heart thudded in an odd way and she shook her head.  _Poe was fine,_ she found herself thinking.

Her third trek to this X-Wing was arguably better than all the previous ones. She made herself take her time, her mantra being that she had no reason to rush. Instead of climbing over the broken nose of the ship, she went around to the back, examining the engines. They looked to be 4L4 fusial thrusts, meaning it was an old T-65. **  
**

“Goodness, they were scraping the barrel with you, weren’t they, dear?” she said out loud.

Still, it could have been worse. Her T-70 from the Republic had been better equipped, but an X-Wing was an X-Wing, as Cote would say. She could still figure it out. Two hours later, after poking, prodding, and pulling, Jayah had a satchel full of parts, batteries, connectors, and wires that were undamaged enough to fulfill her purpose. She stepped back from the crash and wiped at her forehead. She was sweaty, grimy, and dirty, but she felt very accomplished.

Jayah gave the X-Wing another once over, walking and climbing over it, poking into the cockpit one last time before she grabbed her bag and headed toward the spring where she gathered water. It wasn’t a long trip, thankfully, as the water and parts in her bag would be heavy. Overall, it did take her longer than she wanted to get back — she was out of practice carrying a full container of water. But she made it to the hut by mid afternoon, which was ideal.

As she neared the door, she could hear BB-8 and Poe talking and it made her stop in her tracks. It was so odd, to hear the cheerful beeps of the droid and the relaxed laughter of the pilot. In her hut. Where she had been alone for three years.

And now, in the course of three days having them there was almost familiar. Comforting.

Jayah faltered in stepping forward. No, she couldn’t start thinking those things. She couldn’t become attached to either of them … they would be leaving soon enough and she would be alone again.

Shaking her head of the thoughts lingering, she pushed through the door, coming to a halt, her eyes going wide in shock. “Wha — what are you doing?” she asked, nearly dropping the full container of water she carried.

Poe, who was moving about her hut like he had been there for years, looked up at her and smiled, “Oh hey, you’re back. Have any luck?”

Jayah blinked once, then twice as she sat the water down, “Ye—yes, I did. What are you  _doing_? You should be resting, Poe.” 

He let out a “pfft” noise, waving her off as he went back to chopping up the ingredients he had obviously pulled from her stores. “I thought it was time I started pulling my weight a bit,” he stated, pausing to scoop up some of the vegetables and walk them over to the pot near the fire. “Since you’ve been stuck with me, I figured it was the least I could do.” **  
**

She picked up the water again and moved it to its usual spot and then pulled her satchel full of parts off, “You don’t need to do that. I mean, stuck isn’t exactly how I would describe this.”

She moved to stand near his spot at the table, “And if you do too much too soon, you’ll set yourself back.”

When Poe came back to the table, she started to flutter about him — grabbing the knife from him, sitting it on the table before she ushered him back toward the bed. But he laughed, and turned, taking a hold of her elbows to halt her.

“Jayah, stop. I’m fine. Really!” he said, his voice and face reflecting that. “I swore I wasn’t going to do much and I didn’t, promise. I just thought I would get supper together.”

She stopped and pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at him disapprovingly. It wasn’t necessarily the best thing, but then again, she had a feeling she wasn’t going to be able to tell him no, now that he was getting his strength back. “Fine. Okay. It actually … does sound nice.”

“See?” Poe winked at her before moving around her and back to his tasks. “You can just relax tonight. Put your feet up. Let me mutter about for a change.”

Jayah rolled her eyes, “I don’t mutter,” she said softly, crossing her arms.

He laughed, “Seriously. Anything you were hoping to get done, besides caring for a recovering pilot?”

She sighed again, this time feeling a frustration she couldn’t explain. Mostly at his nonchalance and … just how easily he fit into this place that had been her exile for so long.

“Jayah?” his soft question drew her out of her thoughts, but not out of her mood which balanced precariously on the cusp of agitation.

She rubbed the back of her neck, feeling the grim of sweat and her hair tangled there. Another long breath passed her lips, “I would kill for a bath.”

The words left her softly, but apparently Poe still heard them — he stopped and gave her a quizzical look, as if that was the last thing he thought she would say. His response made her pull a face, “What?” she asked.

“I don’t know, I just … a bath?”

She rolled her eyes, “Yes, a bath. You know, just because I live here by myself and there isn’t a refresher handy doesn’t mean I want to be gross and smelly.”

He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, giving her a different look entirely, and nodded, “No, no I get it. How about this,” he paused as he dropped some more ingredients into the pot. “You go ahead and get cleaned up. By the time you’re back, I’ll have dinner all ready.”

Her eyes narrowed again and Poe gave her an indignant look of his own, “Come on. You know I’m not going to do anything but what I say.”

Jayah felt her jaw twitch, “You know, it’s got nothing to do with trust, it’s just …” And there she stopped. Because honestly she didn’t want to tell him what truly was bothering her. “Fine, I’ll go.”

A smirk curled his lips and something settled in her stomach.

“I won’t be long,” she said, mostly she knew for herself as she busied about, grabbing clean clothes, a towel she always used to dry off, and a a few things to clean her hair. “And just … take it easy?”

Poe gave her a mock salute as well as a smile, “Enjoy your bath.”

Jayah clenched her jaw as she turned and walked out the door. If he thought he was cute, he was completely wrong.  _Completely_  wrong. 

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ **  
**

Jayah let out a deep, long sigh of relief as she sunk into the clear pool of water. It was cool enough to provide a relief from the heated air of the moon, but not too much that she froze quickly. Plus the waterfall nearby kept the water moving and circulating, making it an ideal spot to get clean.

She hadn’t been lying to Poe earlier — just because she had been on her own didn’t mean she didn’t keep clean. This spot often had been a reprieve for her, especially when she had been getting used to the atmosphere of Felucia VI. Some months were so hot she refused to light a fire in the hut — she would make one outside and cook over that, taking every opportunity to skirt off to the pool and dip into the cool water.

As she rinshed the dirt and grim from her skin, Jayah tried to clear her mind. At first, the task was easy — she has been half-assing keeping clean while Poe was still unconscious, so it was nice to take a moment and concentrate on herself, even if it was just washing her hair thoroughly.

But that led to the exact thoughts she was attempting to avoid, such as how truly happy she was that Poe was awake. And not just because of the obvious reason that he wasn’t going to die; she had relished in their conversations and getting to know him. Other than the few times the part of her past she wanted to avoid were dragged up, it had been really nice having Poe and BB-8 to talk to. More than really nice, actually.

_And those_  thoughts led to ones Jayah had been attempting to tell herself were not in the slightest bit possible. They revolved around Poe smiling at her, joking with her, and how at ease Jayah allowed herself to be with him. That was something entirely new for her. She had never felt at ease with people so quickly. Even with Cote, it took awhile for a young Jayah to realize there was nothing false about the Commander’s kindness and willingness to educate her. 

But there was something different about Poe. Which shouldn’t have surprised Jayah in the end. There were a lot of things different about Poe.

That morning while she checked his wound was a perfect example. How he looked at her, his dark eyes watching all her movements. It made her feel strange … not in a bad way, but still. Her stomach felt like it was full of moths fluttering about and her cheeks warmed under his gaze.

She was starting to realized that she liked him;  _really_  liked him. Poe Dameron was charming, more so when he wasn’t trying to be. He had great stories to make her smile. And the more time she spent with him, the more she knew he had a good heart. 

Not to mention a lovely smile that made her chest tighten. And dark eyes that seemed to see through all her walls.

But it was all so silly — Jayah had only known him a week and most of that was when he was unconscious. Not to mention the harsh reality of what his time with her truly was; she was a mission. Really, she was a pawn in the mission to find the Kaladrian system, the hidden base there, and lead the Resistance to it.

Jayah pushed a sigh through her lips, dunking her head into the water and rinsing the soap from her hair. She  _could_  go with him, a voice reasoned in her head; leave the loneliness behind and guide Poe and BB-8 to the planet. Leia told her she would be welcomed back, after all.

She swallowed hard and screwed her eyes shut. She couldn’t do it; she knew she couldn’t. The moment would come, it was inevitable — Poe would ask her again to come with him and Jayah would have to let him down.

She couldn’t forgive herself for her past; not yet.

Jayah’s eyes opened and she sniffled hard, running a hand over her face. She told herself it was water from the pool clinging to her face and not anything else. Her throat tightened with an unspoken emotion and Jayah clenched her jaw, feeling frustration at herself for being so ridiculous.

Submerging herself under the water, Jayah allowed herself to use the few seconds she could hold her breath to let the vacuum of the water clear her thoughts once and for all. It didn’t exactly surprise her when she couldn’t clear her mind completely. But what did cross her thoughts surprised her — her dreams from the first night Poe was conscious. **  
**

Jayah resurfaced, sputtered a bit and drew in air deeply. With him waking up, she almost had forgotten about the dreams. How the first manifested from her own nightmares. And the second; there was something oddly familiar about the second. Especially after BB-8 told her about their mission to Jakku.

But surely … surely she couldn’t have been seeing something from Poe’s memory. How would that even be possible?

Both of Jayah’s hands scooped over her wet hair. How could she even broach such a thing with him?  _Oh, by the way, when you were clinging to life I had some horrific dreams I can’t explain. Care to compare some facts and see if I was channeling your mind?_

That was definitely not happening. **  
**

The next most logical would be Leia. She was, after all, the sister of a Jedi Master and always had spooky feelings and stuff happening to her. Maybe she could shed some light on the add dreams.

Feeling a tad better with a plan, Jayah gave herself one more scrub from head to toe and got out to dry off. After she pulled on her clothes and combed through her hair, she started to think about how she would bring up the topic with Leia. Thankfully that wouldn’t be as awkward as it would be with Poe.

Jayah was so lost in her thoughts during her trek back she simply walked into the hut without a glance around. As she shut the door quietly, she came back to the moment as she heard humming.

She softly and slowly walked further into the hut before she paused, almost holding her breath as she listened. Poe was moving between the table and the fire, humming and occasionally singing a loud as he stirred the food in her cooking pot over the fire. Jayah felt stunned — it had been so long since she had heard singing, well music of any kind. It suddenly struck her how much she missed it.

Another thing that struck Jayah was that Poe actually had a nice voice. Not that she was an expert on singing talent of any kind, but to her ears, his voice was not awkwardly pitched or made her pull a face. In fact, she found herself taking a few steps closer to try and make out the melody he sung. Part of her wanted to interrupt him and ask him to sing her something … **  
**

At that moment, he turned to the table, a full bowl in his hands as he sat it on the surface. His dark eyes finally caught sight of her and instead of looking surprised or maybe even annoyed, Poe gave her a wide grin. Her chest tightened a bit.

“Feel better?” he asked.

She went to answer, but the words caught. After she cleared her throat, she made her way to the other side of the table. “Y—yes I do,” she stuttered for some unearthly reason. “Thank you. The food smells good,” she finished lamely.

But Poe only continued to smile, as if he were pleased with her response. “Good! I’m hoping you like it; I’m a little rusty cooking,” he said, gesturing to the chair at the table. “Go ahead and sit.”

Jayah felt like it almost was an out-of-body experience. Three years on her own, three years telling herself she didn’t need anyone, that she was okay by herself … now she was sitting at her table, being served dinner by a Resistance pilot who she had saved as if they did this every day.

She sat down in front of the bowl and carefully picked up her spoon, dipping into the stew in front of her. Poe was trying hard to look as if he wasn’t watching for her reaction, but Jayah could see he wasn’t very subtle. So she took her time to take a bite, just to tease him a little bit. He was paused over the pot, awkwardly half turned toward her. She slowly took the bite, and found herself pleasantly surprised by the taste.

“Mmmm.” The sound escaped her before she could stop and she saw Poe smile to himself as he filled his own bowl.

“It’s really good. I appreciate you cooking and everything,” Jayah said around her bite as he sat on the bed at the end of the table closest to her.

“Thank you,” he answered, stirring his spoon around in the bowl. “And it’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for BB-8 and me.”

BB-8 rolled over and beeped his agreement, adding that she’d done more than others had in the past. Jayah looked down at the droid and smiled, “Well I’ve been happy to help.”

When she looked back up, her eyes caught Poe staring at her. Their gazes caught and he smiled softly before digging in as if he were starving. Jayah pursed her lips to keep from smiling back (something that had become a habit as of late she realized) and took another bite herself.

He asked her about the X-Wing wreck as they ate, wondering how badly damaged the equipment of the ship was. Around bites of her meal, Jayah told him about what she’d determined and declared to BB-8 she had a good stash of equipment that could definitely be worked and converted to help him charge. To say the droid was excited was putting it mildly.

As the conversation lulled a bit, Jayah pursed her lips and worked up her courage to ask him what she thought was possibly the silliest thing she could question him on.

“When I came in a bit ago,” she started, scraping her spoon along the bottom of her bowl and unable to look up at him. “You were humming and singing. Do you do that a lot?”

When he didn’t answer her right away, Jayah finally convinced herself to chance a glance up at him. He had paused, spoon halfway to his mouth, face quirked in an odd expression. She bit her lower lip to keep from laughing. Poe looked at her after a moment and shrugged, finishing his bite. **  
**

“I guess I’ve always done it. Can’t say I’ve really ever thought about it,” he answered around his food.

She nodded, shyly looking down at her bowl again, “What were you singing?”

To this question, he chuckled, “I honestly couldn’t tell you. Probably something my mother used to sing all the time.”

At the mention of Shara, Jayah felt herself perk up. She couldn’t help it — any time Poe spoke of his mother, she felt like a wide-eyed kid. Every bit of information about the woman Jayah found fascinating. “Your mother sang a lot?” she found herself asking.

She immediately regretted it when she caught sight of Poe’s face. Her brow furrowed and she was immediately angry with herself when he looked at her curiously. **  
**

He cleared his throat and tried to sound nonchalant, “Yeah, she did.” He then let out a genuine chuckle, “Mom and Dad both did. Sometimes one of them would just start humming and the other would pick it up. By the end, they were dancing around the kitchen or picking me up and getting me to join in.”

Jayah felt a tug of jealousy as she dug her spoon into the bowl again. After a moment she felt herself sigh. “I miss music. I loved to listen to holorecordings before going on missions or to help me sleep,” she confessed.

“You don’t sing?” Poe asked curiously.

She looked up and mimicked his shrug from earlier, “I can’t carry a tune to save my life. Best leave it to others.”

“Hmmm,” he replied noncommently. He then looked at her with a smirk, “What about dancing?”

Jayah couldn’t help it; the absurdness of the question make her chuckle. But when she looked at him, he raised his eyebrows, looking completely serious. She felt her cheeks grow warm. “I’ve never danced either.”

Poe leaned forward, his dark eyes narrowing in an assessing manner, “You mean to tell me you’ve never danced? Not even around in a circle when you got your first assignment in the fleet?”

He was trying to get her to relax, and it worked. She smiled and shook her head, “Nope. Not even then. Never saw an occasion for it.”

“There’s always a reason to dance,” he said, standing and grabbing her empty dish before putting it with his in her usual spot to clean later.

He then surprised her by walking back to her side, holding out his hand, “Let’s dance then.”

Jayah looked at his hand then his face, laughing, “Are you serious?”

“Of course I’m serious,” Poe answered, his face mirroring the words he spoke. “Come on, up you get,” he added, his warm palm taking her hand and tugging her up out of her chair.

Her heart began to hammer against her chest as he moved her chair out of the way, giving them a bit of room. She licked her lips nervously as he came to stand in front of her. “This is silly, I  _feel_  silly,” she told him softly. 

But Poe smiled, shaking his head, “It’s not. I promise.”

Jayah huffed out a breath and then swallowed hard, “What if I’m horrible at it?”

She couldn’t even look up at him and say it in a joking manner, which was even more embarrassing than admitting to not even knowing how to dance.

To her surprise, Poe ducked his head, trying to catch her gaze. When he did, he again gave her that damn soft smile, “No one is here to judge you, Jayah. There’s only me and BB-8, and he likes you too much to say anything bad about you.”

He was being ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous, but it still made her smile. Then BB-8 rolled over and whooped that Poe was right, it did like Jayah, adding that she was probably an amazing dancer and didn’t even know it.

She couldn’t help it; she let out a breath and gave the best smile she could, despite her nerves. “Well, since BB-8 thinks I can, I don’t know how I can say no,” she said lightly, looking back to Poe. She was still nervous, feeling her heart beating so quickly she was sure he could hear it.

If he did, he was at least nice enough not to say anything. Instead, he grabbed one of her hands, “Just close your eyes.”

Jayah pulled a face.

Poe chuckled, “Come on, just trust me. Close your eyes.”

It still all felt completely ridiculous … but she closed her eyes.

She felt him shift closer to her, starting to hum softly. He gently used the hand he was holding to tug her the last step closer as he continued to hum the new melody. Her breathing had slowed and it felt like every nerve in her body was waiting for something to happen. Suddenly she felt Poe’s other hand slip to her waist.

Her heart leapt in her throat and Jayah’s eyes flew open as she took a step back away from him.

“No, we can’t do this,” she started, her voice sounding high-pitched even to her ears. “Th—this really is silly. We don’t have  _real_  music.”

Poe held up his hands in front of him, taking one step closer, “I’ve got the music. All you have to do is just let me lead.” **  
**

Jayah pursed her lips, still feeling unsure.

“No judgment, remember?”

_Why are we even doing this?_ She thought. He was recovering from a crash, she was in a self-imposed exile. And they were trying to dance? 

“Poe …” she started. **  
**

“I know,” he interrupted, as if he had heard every word that had just ran through her mind. “But just give it a shot. For BB-8?”

She looked at him, letting herself truly search his face for any thing to cause her to distrust him. But his dark brown eyes showed nothing but sincerity. And hope. He offered his hand again, his palm up and fingers beckoning her to move forward.

Jayah swallowed hard, her mind telling her again and again that it was a mistake. But still, she placed her hand in his. Poe’s smile brightened and his curled his fingers around hers, gently coaxing her body closer to his. She took the step forward, staring at a spot on his chest as his other hand came back to her waist.

Poe softly started to sing now, his body guiding hers into a gentle sway.

After a few moments, he began to sing a bit louder and lead her body as their swaying began to turn a slow circle. Jayah realized she had been holding her breath and closed her eyes, pushing the air past her lips softly. Part of her kept waiting though — waiting for him to pull back, to start to laugh, to tell her she was doing something wrong. But it never came. Instead, Poe’s voice continued to sing, filling the hut with such a lovely sound, Jayah felt her heart seize.

She realized after a few minutes, she was actually enjoying herself. And of its own accord, it seemed, her body shifted closer to his.

Poe’s voice slowly tapered off. “See?” he asked softly, causing her to look up at him. “I’m not so bad.”

Jayah scoffed, the corner of her lips turning up, “Yeah, I guess not.” Then, for reasons she couldn’t rightly explain, she leaned into him and rested her cheek against his chest.

His heartbeat was reassuring and strong. It felt like a lifetime ago when she had been searching for his pulse, praying to the stars he was alive. Now she was listening to it beat steadily, the weight of his hand on her hip so relieving.

Poe started humming again, the sound reverberating in his chest and Jayah enjoyed the feeling. Her shoulders released, the tension she held there dissipating. It felt wondrous just  _leaning_  against him, letting him help hold her up.  _Was this why people enjoyed this?_ She thought. 

The lull in her mind was broken as Poe’s humming ceased. She felt him press his cheek against her temple. “You smell nice,” he said softly near her ear. **  
**

Jayah lasted only a few seconds before she found a giggle erupt from her.

“What?” he asked her, laughing along with her. “You do! Wasn’t that the point of the bath?”

She pulled back to look into his face, finding herself fascinated with the wrinkles that formed around his eyes when he laughed. “Well, yes,” she replied, “but it just sounds so silly when you say it like that.”

He laughed again, squeezing her hand in his. “Eh, I guess you’re right. But it’s still true.”

And there he did it again, caught her so off guard that her breath caught in her throat with a little gasp. She prayed he didn’t hear it. “Thank you,” she breathed, electing to break eye contact and lay her head back against his chest.

It didn’t occur to her right away, but they still were dancing even though Poe never started singing again.

“What did you do when you got your first fleet assignment?” she asked him suddenly.

“Danced around in a circle, naturally,” he answered without hesitation.

Jayah laughed again; she’d laugh more standing in his arms than she had in years.

“What did you do?” Poe asked.

Her smile fell from her face and she was glad to be hiding it against him. After a moment, she took a deep breath, “I cried actually.”

“You cried?” he asked sincerely, his voice dropping to a quiet tone.

Jayah swallowed hard, “It was the first time I felt like I was doing the right thing. That I could actually  _do_  something,” she answered. “It was the first time I felt I was worth something.” 

When he didn’t say anything, Jayah felt herself close back up. She shouldn’t have opened up so much… **  
**

“Jayah,” Poe’s voice was barely above a whisper, causing a shiver to race down her spine. They had stopped swaying and he moved his hand from her waist to cup her chin, tilting her face up to look at him.

Their eyes met and her heart practically stopped.

“You’re worth  _everything_ ,” he said, his voice full of the same conviction he had that first night. 

“You don’t know me.” The words tumbled unknowingly out of her mouth and she instantly regretted it. The last few days all she had done was tell him things about herself; more than she really had ever told anyone. **  
**

But Poe took it with stride. His hand moved from her chin to brush up her cheek, tucking hair behind her ear. “Yes I do,” he countered, even nodding his head to drive the statement home.

Something in her wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. Because she believed him. And suddenly, Jayah was leaning into him more, her hand moving from his shoulder to his chest, curling her fingers around his shirt tightly. Poe bent down toward her in the same moment, the hand on her cheek diving into her hair.

BB-8 beeped and booped reluctantly, causing Jayah to suck in air and pull back from him. The comms were going off — it was the General. Poe let out a heavy, disappointed breath but didn’t move. She looked at him, feeling the same disappointment. “Poe…” she breathed softly, not sure what to say.

He gave her a rueful smile, “Thanks for the dance, sweetheart.”

Her smile mirrored his as their hands dropped, “Thank you for indulging me.”

He opened his mouth as if he were going to say more, but BB-8 interrupted again, saying the General was insistent. So he nodded and moved toward the droid. As he passed her, he touched her hand with his — her eyes closed at the action and her heart ached for what almost just happened.


	12. Chapter 11: In the Dark

Sleep would not find Jayah easily that night.

While Poe had been recovering, she had made due with sleeping on a pallet in front of her fire. He had tried to convince her to switch with him for the past two nights, but she would not relent. He was still recovering, and she could manage just fine on the floor. That was usually the case. But tonight had other ideas.

Poe had talked with Leia for a long time outside the hut; it had not been the first time she had spoken to him since he had woken up, but it seemed it was the first chance she had to share with him a lot of information. Jayah tried not to eavesdrop, but it was easy enough when he left the door open and lingered near the entrance.

They talked of the outer posts finally reporting in, some of them hiding from the First Order themselves. They talked of how many had fled and not communicated with anyone. They talked of ships the Resistance had been able to commandeer from some of Leia’s old contacts, supply runs and scouting missions (the only things Leia would dare at the moment), of the different bases they were going to hop to every two weeks until the former Kaladrian base was located and vetted.

It was enough information that Jayah felt a weight under it, even though she was not a part of the conversation.

Leia was, however, as she always tended to be in these situations — gruff, but maternal; understanding, yet realistic. She asked after Poe, how he was feeling, and his recovery. If he for a moment slipped from being completely truthful, a firm “Commander Dameron” got him back on track. Jayah remembered that tone of voice all too well.

And then Poe had stepped away from the door, further away to where it was harder to hear and she felt a tad hurt. Maybe he saw her listening and moved away so she wouldn’t hear anymore.

Or the more likely scenario — they were talking about her.

Jayah wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

So she busied herself with cleaning up supper, since Poe had cooked, and then setting about spreading all her parts from the X-Wing out on the table. She sorted them by use and organized them neatly as she waited for him to come back. When he did, not much was said. He gave her a soft smile and relayed a bit of what she already knew from the conversation. He looked exhausted compared to just an hour before when he held her hand and sang to her. Jayah’s heart was heavy with the new tension she felt from him.

She convinced him to go ahead to bed. It was getting later anyway, and he had done a lot that day. The smile he gave her then was lighter and he didn’t argue. He only touched her shoulder, thanked her again, and crawled into bed.

Jayah worked as quietly as she could until she could hear the change in his breathing, which did not take long. She should have tried to sleep; she told herself a few times to give it an effort, but she didn’t move.

Instead, she tinkered and messed with the parts until she felt she had a decent assembly for BB-8. The droid had rolled over at some point after Poe fell asleep and asked her if she was tired.

“Nah, BB-8. I’m okay. Just wanting to get this going for you. How are your power levels?” she asked softly, hoping to divert the little droid’s attention.

Holding well, but getting toward 50 percent, it booped sadly. Jayah reached down and gently touched its domed head.

“Don’t worry, buddy. I’m not going to let it go any lower than that, okay?” she whispered. “I’m about finished with this, and we can try it out.”

BB-8 wiggled excitedly, but was able to keep its beeps as quiet as it could; definitely!

Jayah smiled, happy for not only the distraction, but for BB-8’s company. Thirty minutes later and she was at least partially happy with her results.

“Okay little guy, let’s try it,” she said, placing the contraption on the floor and holding out the connection wire. BB-8 rolled over and opened its charging port, which Jayah easily was able to hook up.

After a second, the droid whirled in excitement — it worked! Charging was commencing.  A sense of pride went through Jayah as she patted its dome head again.

And then there were was nothing left to distract her. She stood from the table and stretched, raising her arms over her head and giving her back a good pull after being hunched over for so long. The fire was getting low, so she walked over and tossed a log on it.  After that, she flopped herself back into the chair and turned her attention to BB-8, who had happily gone into sleep mode as it charged.

Jayah folded her hands over her stomach and let her head hang back, her eyes staring at the ceiling. As she listened to the crackling fire and Poe’s breathing, her thoughts began to drift back to earlier that night. Her eyes fell shut and holding completely still, she could almost feel Poe’s hand on her waist guiding her, his fingers tucked between hers.

She swallowed hard and forced her eyes open again. This was a dangerous path to go down. Getting attached couldn’t happen. In the end, she would be the one to hurt. Still … it had been nice, if just for a moment, to hope.

Her eyes closed again, that sense of promise lingering in her mind. And the image of Poe leaning toward her burning behind her eyes.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Of the things Poe expected to see when he woke up the next morning, what greeted him was definitely not one of them.

Jayah was seated at the table, leaning forward with her face resting on the table top.

He sat up slowly, shaking the sleep from his head and rubbing it from his eyes as he chanced a look down at BB-8. “Is she sleeping?” he asked softly.

BB-8 beeped and booped an affirmative response, adding that she had worked on the charging device for BB-8 for a few hours. The droid had tried to get her to move to her spot in front of the fire, but she wouldn’t respond. Poe shook his head, feeling concerned at her sleeping habits. If she would have just taken the bed like he’d asked her to …

He stood up, giving himself a moment to stretch his limbs before walking over to her and gently shaking her shoulder. “Jayah?”

Jayah groaned as she came back to consciousness. He could tell by the grimace on her face she probably ached all over from the position she had fallen asleep in. Her eyes opened and took in her surroundings, which only caused her look of disdain to deepen.

She slowly peeled herself from the table, sitting up and blinking slowly as Poe leaned over to get a better look at her.

“Did you sleep here all night?” he asked.

“Ummm,” she started, a very cute look of confusion gracing her features. She yawned loudly and then looked up at him again, “Considering I worked on BB-8’s charger for a while, no?”

Poe pursed his lips and felt that concerned frustration sweep over him again. He shook his head slightly, giving her a stern look as he gently took her arm, “Okay, come on. You’re going to get some sleep in your bed.”

He guided her up out of the chair and toward the bed. Her body went willingingly, fortunately, but something told him he was about to hear it. “Hey, I’m a commander too, you know,” she grumbled, proving him right. “You don’t outrank me.”

“I have at least 8 hours of sleep. I completely outrank you,” he argued, making her sit on the bed. “Now, sleep.”

Jayah rolled her eyes, exhibiting the classic signs of a sleep-deprived person. If she were under his command, he would have given her an order and threatened a reprimand if she tried to disobey.

“You’re serious?” she asked.

“As a heart attack, sweetheart,” he replied, putting his hands on her shoulders when she started to stand. He leaned down so they were eye to eye, “Why are you so stubborn?”

“Could ask you the same question, flyboy,” she got out, interrupted halfway by another large yawn.

Poe chuckled, leaning down and grabbing her ankles, lifting her legs. Her eyes were drooping again and she obviously was fighting the fatigue heavy in her limbs. But she lost. When he lifted her legs, Jayah fell back into her bed — she moaned a sound of deep relief as she turned her face into the pillow and allowed Poe to tuck her legs up under the cover.

He smiled softly, pulling the cover up to her shoulders as he sat next to her. She turned again slightly to look up at him. “If I fall asleep, you’re going to do something stupid, aren’t you?” she asked through another softer yawn.

He shook his head slowly, reaching forward and tucking her hair behind her ear, “Nah. If you aren’t awake to appreciate it, then what’s the point?”

She gave a scoff and wiggled a bit under the cover, “You’re cute, you know that?”

Poe felt a lot more pleasure out of that comment then he knew he probably should. “You think I’m cute, do you?”

“Pffft,” she said, rolling over dramatically so she could face him. Her hands were tucked up under her head as she looked at him with her sleepy blue eyes, “You’re the one who tried to kiss me,” she mumbled.

He felt a momentary bout of shock at her blunt delivery. But when Poe looked back down at her to playfully counter that she was the one who leaned in first, Jayah was already fast asleep. He sighed heavily.  _Well then …  
_

Did you try to kiss her, BB-8 beeped as he rolled over to the pilot. Poe pursed his lips, watching Jayah’s steady breathing for a moment.

“Yeah, buddy. I did,” he admitted, finding it wasn’t as terrifying as he might have thought.

So, BB-8 started, did that mean that Poe really liked Jayah. Like a lot?

He sighed, running his hand down over his face. Yes, was the immediate answer that came to the tip of his tongue, but he stopped himself from saying it aloud.

Well? The little droid prodded, bumping against his leg and whistling almost in a song-like way. Didn’t Poe like Jayah?

“Of course I like her, BB. She’s done a lot for us,” Poe said, standing from the bed finally and putting some distance between himself and the sleeping woman. He didn’t want to wake her if BB-8 was going to continue to question him like this.

But do you like, like her? The little droid asked, rolling after him as he went to stand by the fire.

Poe rolled his eyes and looked down at his droid, “You’ve been spending too much time with Jess. I’m going to have to have a talk with her about the types of discussions she’s having with you.”

Jess would say you were avoiding the question, BB-8 threw back.

Poe scoffed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Look, buddy. It’s a moot point, right? We’re leaving and she’s …”

You could convince her, the droid pointed out quickly. You’re very good at convincing pretty girls to help us.

Poe rolled his eyes again, “Jess is definitely going to stop putting things in your head, BB. It’s called being nice —  _people_  want to help because they feel it is the right thing to do. Not because of anything I say or do.”

Still avoiding the question, BB-8 chirped.

The pilot sighed and looked back at Jayah’s sleeping form. “Yeah. I think I like, like her. Happy now?” he asked.

The droid looked over at Jayah, then up to Poe. Are you going to tell her? It asked.

And there was the big question. Poe turned his eyes away from her, looking down at the fire and fingering his mother’s ring. A nervous habit he never had quiet quit.

“I can’t tell her,” he whispered, more to himself than to the droid.

Why not? What if she likes you back? BB-8 bwooped.

Poe bit his lower lip, shaking his head, “She wouldn’t, buddy. She’s helped us out and that’s been amazing. But I can’t assume anything. Not even after last night. I really shouldn’t have even tried to kiss her. That was almost stepping over a line we couldn’t come back from.”

BB-8 booped sadly and lowered its dome head — I don’t understand all human emotions. Why is telling her you like her different than sharing feelings with Finn or Jess or Kare?

Poe chuckled ruefully, “Because I like her different than that, buddy. And I’m not sure how to deal with that.”

The droid whistled — it didn’t know how to help Poe figure it out.

“Trust me, BB. I don’t know either.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

_The room was dank and dirty. It smelled old, as if it had not been used or even thought about for decades. It was hard to pull in the musty air, but Jayah made herself do it. Made herself keep fighting to stay conscious. She couldn’t let her focus slip.  
_

_Somehow this was all familiar and yet something told her she had never been here before._

_Her head hung forward, her hair falling over and covering her face. Hands bound behind her in the chair she was sitting, Jayah fought to keep her back straight, to keep from falling forward too much._

_She wasn’t sure how, but she knew there was someone else in the room, lurking in the shadows across from her. It was a man, crouched down and watching her. For some reason she knew he wanted something from her, but she wasn’t going to give it up._

_Suddenly, he stood, coming out of the shadows and passing through the shafts of light that filtered through the room. Covered head to toe in black and wearing a metal mask and helmet, there was something about him that was familiar, yet completely unknown._

_“Commander Jayah Kryal,” he said, his voice garbled through the modulator of the mask. “The lost pilot of the Resistance.”_

_Jayah raised her head and he crouched in front of her now. She could see the unique formation of his mask and helmet. Black with thick silver stripes running across his nose and mouth. It was meant to intimidate and terrify. He was headed in the right direction she decided._

_“You seem to have me at a disadvantage as I have no clue who you are,” she croaked out through a dry throat._

_He chuckled darkly, “I’m Thres Ren.”_

_Her heart thudded but she schooled her face into a blank mask. “A Knight of Ren,” she deadpanned. “Thought you all had slaughtered each other.”_

_To that, he had no response. Instead he stared at her, and for the first time Jayah found it unsettling that she could not see his eyes. Suddenly his hand shot out and gripped her face, tilting it back._

_“Where are the other two you were with, hmm?” he asked calmly, his fingers flexing against her jaw._

_“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she replied, grounding out the words._

_“Where,” he started, squeezing, “are they?”_

_Jayah swallowed hard and looked up at the ceiling, “I am Commander Jayah Kryal of the Republic Navy. Service number 6682-XR. Enlistment date…”_

_“Have it your way then,” the man said, letting go of her face and stepping back, still holding his hand out._

_The feeling that followed was familiar — wisps pushing and crawling through her brain, searching. Jayah began to pant, trying to fend off the pain and the intrusion. The Force of it pushed her back in the chair. She could feel it picking her apart, piece by tiny piece._

_“Just tell me where they are,” he garbled. “And the pain will end.”_

_A burning started behind her eyes and she felt her breath coming faster and faster out as she clenched her jaw._

_“Where are they?!”_

_Jayah felt tears gathering in her eyes, “I am Commander Jayah Kryal…”_

_He pushed forward and she gasped, screwing her eyes shut. She wouldn’t scream, she refused to scream. Even as she felt it bubbling up in her throat, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction…_

Jayah sat up, heaving in air as if she had been underwater. She stared forward, the images of the dream beginning to fade fast even as she tried desperately to hang on to them. That had not been a memory. And she had been herself in the dream, so it wasn’t something she was pulling from whatever happened earlier with Poe.

So what the hell had that been?

She pushed a breath through her nose, running both of her hands through her hair and tried to calm her heartbeat. Just as it was when she dreamed about Poe’s torture, Jayah could still feel as if her brain was being poked and prodded. It scared her on a level she didn’t know if she could admit aloud.

“Jayah? You ok?” Poe’s voice sounded as he came closer, sitting on the bed next to her.

Jayah forced herself to swallow hard and find her voice, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a dream.”

“Here,” he said gently, handing her a cup of water which she gratefully took. “You wanna talk about it?”

After she downed nearly half the glass, she shook her head, running a hand shakily through her hair again, “Honestly, not really. It was just a bad dream. It’ll pass soon.”

He nodded and put a comforting hand on her shoulder before he stood. She drew in another calming breath, looking over and watching him as he moved to sit at the table. Suddenly her brow crinkled in confusion as she looked around her, “What am I doing in bed?”

Poe gave her a rueful smile, “You fell asleep at the table. BB-8 said you were up most of the night working on his charging unit. I felt you could use a good bit of sleep.”

Jayah nodded, “Thank you,” she said softly, looking down at the cup she held on her knee. “What time is it?”

He turned and glanced out the window, “Not quite midday?”

She finished off the water in the cup, “And what exactly have you been up to all morning then?”

He chuckled, “Full of questions, aren’t we Sleeping Beauty?”

Jayah rolled her eyes before he continued. “Don’t worry, I’ve been good. I took a walk around the hut outside, just to stretch my legs. You’ll be happy to know BB-8 watched me like a good mother hen,” he paused to stand and grabbed a something from the med bag on the floor. Once he stood, he tossed it to her. A protein bar. “You’re a little low on the supplies, sweetheart.”

She gave him a nod of thanks and opened the bar, not realizing how hungry she was until she took the first bite. “Stars, I forgot how horrible these things are.”

“Does good in a pinch though,” Poe said, taking up his seat again.

They sat in silence for a moment, Jayah munching away on what was her breakfast and Poe tinkering with a few of the extra parts she had left on the table. She watched him, her eyes cataloging his features for some unknown reason. Something about the task was soothing. Her gaze focused in on his hands as he pulled away different panel pieces and messed with wires.

For some silly reason, Jayah decided right then and there she liked Poe’s hands. Quite a lot. She wasn’t sure why — they moved with purpose, showing he knew what he was doing. They bore healing scratches from the crash and she was sure other tiny scars from work he had done in the past. His palms were wide, which was apparently an appealing thing — Jayah never really knew that it was until that moment …

She shook her head. Stars, what the kriffing hell was wrong with her?

“When you say supplies are low, how low are we talking?” she asked instead as a way to distract herself.

“Well,” Poe started, pulling open another bit of control panel. “I wasn’t confident enough I could make two meals out of it for two people, so I didn’t.”

“Substantially low then,” Jayah said under her breath, turning and swinging her legs over the side. “Well, flyboy, we have some daylight left and I personally do not want to eat another protein pack. You think you’re up for a mini adventure?”

His brown eyes seemed to light up at the words, “Um, hell yes? I’m surprised you feel you have to ask,” he answered, grinning brightly at her.

Jayah chuckled as BB-8 rolled up, beeping excitedly as well — were they going to take it as well?

“Hmmm, there may be some parts a little difficult for you to navigate buddy. But if you’re up for trying, I could take us along some paths that would be easier,” she said. “And really, that’s probably best for our patient over there.”

Poe rolled his eyes, standing and grabbing his jacket from the spot Jayah had let it hang from. “What are we waiting for?” he asked, slipping it on.

Jayah laughed, slowing getting to her feet. “First of all, you won’t need the jacket, Poe. It’s going to be too hot. Second of all, this is not a race.”

She moved over and grabbed two of the leather satchels she had for gathering up food. Walking over to him, she waited until he peeled the jacket off before she slipped one of the bags over his head, situating it diagonally across his chest. “All right, some rules. Follow my lead, got it?” she asked.

“Of course,” Poe answered immediately, like an eager cadet. “What else?”

“Only pick what I say to pick. Some of the vegetation on this planet can irritate your skin. Trust me, I found out the hard way,” she continued.

“Okay, got it. What’s next?”

Jayah chuckled, walking over to put on her blaster holster. She took the spare she had and handed it to him, “Don’t do anything stupid?”

Poe chuckled, grabbing the weapon, “I’ll do my best.”


	13. Chapter 12: Ways and Means

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay then, who’s ready for half-nakedness and silly ridiculous things with a little bit of drama? Because buckle up, buttercups, that’s what this chapter is alllllll about. Seriously, it’s all over the place and had a rough beginning, but I eventually got it going. I had to break it because it was getting super long. It’s ending up at 4,773 words. Holy crap. So, yeah. I hope you enjoy!

The heat wasn’t suffocating, but Poe found he was fairly glad Jayah told him to take the jacket off before they left.

As they trekked through the jungle with BB-8 beeping and booping along with them, Poe found he couldn’t stop asking Jayah questions about the moon. And she indulged them all, even though at times he saw he might have been testing her patience a bit.

The walk and exercise were testing  _Poe_  more than he thought. He had felt so good the last few days, he had been dying to get out and about more. But he could see now why Jayah had limited him the first couple of days. Pushing through the vegetation was no easy task.

If Jayah noticed, she was polite enough not to point it out to him. In fact, when it seemed he needed a moment to catch his breath, she would find a spot to dig for a specific root she used. After the third time, he thanked her out loud — she acted as if she didn’t know what he was talking about.

Slowly though, his body started to get a bit more used to movements and exercise. His breath was coming easier and they were stopping less for him.

“So how did you figure out what all was good to eat?” he asked.

They had hit on a pretty good bit of roots and the two of them were kneeling next to each other on the jungle floor, digging in the dirt as BB-8 kept an eye out.

“You watch the animals. I figured if it didn’t kill them, it wouldn’t kill me,” Jayah answered, face stone cold serious.

Poe pulled a look of confusion, “But what if they are immune? That was pretty dangerous…”

Finally, her face cracked and she laughed, tossing a clump of dirt at him, “I had a food test kit, dummy. You think I just hopped on a ship with nothing but my skin and came to an uninhabited planet? Reckless, not stupid.”

He smiled, “Right, sorry.” He paused to pull up some of the roots he had found, dusted them off, and then put them in his bag. “You know, you’ve never told me about your first few days here.”

Jayah sighed, dusting off her hands and standing, “Well, not much to tell really.”

Poe followed suit. “Not much to tell? Jayah, you have a complete life here; a routine, a home, different spots you frequent. That didn’t happen overnight,” he said.

She gave him a look as she continued down her path, pushing through the leaves and ferns; apparently she knew he wasn’t going to let this go. “Fine. The first few days were … bad.”

“Bad how?” he prodded, watching her feet for a moment to follow her steps.

A chuckle escaped her, causing him to look up and meet her gaze, “You really want to know all this, don’t you?”

“Hey, we said we were going to get to know one another,” he said. “Plus, what you’ve done is a pretty damn big feat. It’s impressive and I’m curious.”

She pursed her lips and ducked her head, turning forward again, but not before Poe caught a blush high on her cheeks. “Well, you want the honest truth?”

“Of course,” he replied quickly, following behind her close enough to hear her easily.

She laughed, shaking her head. “I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this.” A pause and then a big, deep breath passed her lips, “The first two days I essentially stayed in the ship, crying and having a good freak out about what I had done.”

“That’s understandable,” Poe said sympathetically. And he meant it. He couldn’t have imagined what had been going through her mind. Though he had a bit of information from Leia about why Jayah had left the Resistance, he didn’t have the entire story.

“And ridiculous, you can say it,” Jayah laughed a bit, pushing through some of the leaves before her. “Then I told myself I had a choice — I was either going to have to go back and face everything or I could stick with my intentions. I decided to stay, obviously.”

The question was right there, on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t force himself to ask her.

“It wasn’t fun, by any means. Getting used to the weather, that was the best part,” she continued on, her voice changing to a tone Poe couldn’t say he had heard from her before. “But I learned. Started to build the hut. It collapsed on me twice before I finally got a good bought of weather to finish it. After that, everything just got easier and easier, until it just seemed natural to think I had always been here.”

Poe pursed his lips as he followed behind her; there was so much he wanted to ask her, mostly about why she had chosen exile, but he couldn’t. Not that he felt what they were building was fragile still, but because … well, she wasn’t ready. He didn’t know how he knew, but it seemed fairly obvious.

Just as he was trying to figure out what to say, Jayah came to a halt in front of him and Poe skidded to a stop behind her, almost ramming into her. She was looking off to her left and he followed her gaze, seeing nothing too out of the ordinary except a hill with a few trees on top.

“What is it?” he asked, still trying to see if he could spot what caught her attention.

Jayah turned to him and laughed at the quizzical look on his face. “Do you like fruit?” she asked.

Poe’s confusion deepened. “Yes?” he replied slowly.

She laughed again, such a light and carefree sound he hadn’t heard from her that it made his heart thud against his chest. Instead of giving him more information, she instead turned to BB-8 who had come up to her other side. “You think you can manage this hill over here, BB?” she asked.

The droid beeped confidently, it was certain it could follow her to the top easily.

“Okay then, let’s go,” she said to him cheerfully, turning and heading into the brush.

Poe shook his head, unable to keep the smile from his face as he followed.

The trek to the top was not so bad, but the heat had started to get to him again. By the time he reached the top, about five paces behind Jayah, Poe could feel the sweat trickling down his back and his shirt sticking to him. He huffed out his breath and wondered why she would bring him all the way up here just for some fruit. She was standing, staring out ahead of her and once Poe came up to her side, he understood.

The view was breathtaking, stretching out before the two of them for miles and miles. The trees and vegetation were lush and green, covering more rolling hills before them. A flock of some type of bird swooped together in formation far off in the distance. Poe’s eyes followed them for a moment in fascination before he noticed Jayah had moved away and sat down in some of the shorter grass, BB-8 rolling up next to her and talking animatedly about the trees next to them.

“I’m not quite sure, BB,” she answered. “I’m lucky to get up here sometimes to be honest. The birds horde these fruit a lot.”

Poe tugged at his shirt as it stuck to him and he finally huffed a sigh, pulling it over his head. “What kind of fruit is it?” he asked, tossing his shirt to the ground at her extended feet before he moved over to some of the low-hanging branches.

When she didn’t answer right away, he turned and caught her blue eyes traveling over his frame. He smirked and turned back to her fully, hands on his hips. She cleared her throat and dropped her gaze, concentrating on the grass she was tugging up from the ground by her hip.

“It’s sweet when it’s ripe. Very fleshy with a citric taste,” she answered. “They’re really good. A nice treat when I can get up here and snag some.”

“Must be our lucky day then,” Poe replied as he turned back and plucked a few of the small, purple-colored fruits. He examined them and didn’t see anything to rouse his suspicions, so he made his way over to Jayah’s spot, plopping down in the grass next to her.

She snorted a soft laugh and glanced over at him for a moment as he worked to unpeel the first fruit. They both sat in silence, listening to the sounds around them. Soon BB-8 started asking bunches of curious questions and Poe watched with a soft smile as Jayah answered all of them, talking a bit about the animals that she had encountered during her time on the moon.

“So the birds led you here?” Poe asked, interjecting into the conversation as he split the fruit, offering Jayah a piece of the fleshy orange center.

He felt a sense of joy at the smile she gave him as she reached over and took the offered piece. “Yup, sure did. Hard to miss it when you’re always looking up,” she answered, popping the piece of fruit in her mouth.

She elaborated further once she was finished, talking about watching the birds to catch them for food. How they would swarm the hillside and stay in the trees until all the fruit was gone and then waited another few months for the fruits to come back. Catching the in between moments like right then and there was how she first got to try the fruits.

“What do you think?” she asked after she had finished, watching as he munched on another piece.

“They are good,” he answered with a nod of his head, and he wasn’t lying. The pop of sweet citrus was nice and refreshing.

Jayah smiled at him again, seemingly pleased with his answer, and then leaned back on her palms, arms locked straight as she reclined her body and looked up at the sky. Poe allowed himself the luxury of running his gaze over her now, noting how relaxed she seemed up here. Not for the first time his thoughts turned to how beautiful she was …

He turned his head and began to peel the second fruit in his hand. This was nice, he thought, with Jayah contently reclining next to him as he watched BB-8 whirl about curiously, examining insects and different flowers and grass along the hillside.

Poe didn’t often think about what he would do after all the fighting was over. He used to naively think about how things would be; maybe he would go back home, help his dad on the ranch and then take over on his own one day. That was usually how far the fantasy went.

Once things turned dark, after his first run-in with Terex, Poe stopped thinking about after. Getting to the next day, the next mission alive became more prevalent.

But now, sitting in the sun with a breeze blowing through his hair, Jayah next to him, BB-8 rolling about, Poe had a sudden thought — spending life like this wouldn’t be so bad at all.

He turned and offered Jayah another piece of fruit, finding her staring at him again. He felt his cheeks grow warm as he caught the look in her eye, which was ridiculous. She smiled and took a piece.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked suddenly.

Poe took a deep breath and ate another piece himself. “How nice it would be to have something like this after the war. If there is an after,” he answered honestly.

She hummed in agreement, but said nothing more. The sun began to move closer to the horizon, changing the colors of the sky and they sat still, enjoying the air as it began to cool and the easy conversation between each other.

BB-8 came over and settled next to Poe — shouldn’t they be heading out soon, as the sun was going down?

Poe looked over at Jayah, who gave that smile again that made his chest tighten. “Nah. Let’s stay a bit longer.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Jayah was the first awake the next day. Not because she couldn’t sleep — she actually found herself well rested. But there was a lot to do and she needed as early of a start as she could get.

She let Poe sleep an hour or so more than she did — after his successful adventure out with her the previous day, she didn’t want him to lose any sleep he needed. It had been relieving to see him keeping up with her with ease and not showing any signs that his wound was bothering him.

It also had just been a  _good_  day, walking about and doing things with Poe and BB-8. Learning more about him and getting to explain different things to the two of them.

The best part, however, had been on the hill. The spot always had been a favorite of Jayah’s, giving her the sweet treat of the fruit and the unobstructed view. But spending the afternoon with Poe, sharing the fruit along with the stories and conversation … she had not felt like that in a long time.

Poe made her feel relaxed, like laughing and thinking about more than just her past. His arrogance from that first night had long vanished and had been replaced with something altogether different — something that made a warm feeling settle in her.

The only trouble spot had been when he decided to tug his shirt off from the heat. She couldn’t understand why it bothered her. Probably because it had not necessarily been a bad thing. He’d caught her staring — twice — but did not once say anything. She had been thankful to have been spared the embarrassment. She just hadn’t been able to stop herself, though.

The first time he had undressed in front of her, what seemed like a lifetime ago now on his first night, Jayah chalked up her staring to the sheer fact she had been alone for so long. She was never one to be shy around men — especially half-naked ones; she had been a pilot, for Force sake. Pilots were horrible at personal boundaries. So really, Poe should not have surprised her as much. It only made sense to blame that first instance of loss of rational thought on having been on her own.

But yesterday? Yesterday, Jayah had no excuse and she knew it. The first time he caught her was because he had genuinely surprised her, just tugging his shirt off and tossing it at her feet before he turned to the tree and fruit. She had admired his back, the lines of his frame and the broadness of his shoulders. When he caught her, she blushed and had to look away.

The second time, well that really couldn’t have been called anything but lust. How Poe was so comfortable near her caught her attention of course. But Jayah had been unable to tear her eyes from him — the plane of his tanned chest, the crinkles of his abdomen, the dark trail of hair from his belly button down into his pants.

She cleared her throat suddenly, shaking her head. Poe Dameron was too attractive not only for his own good, but for hers as well.

Jayah was just finishing up her breakfast when the pilot finally stirred awake on the bed. Drawing in a deep breath, he rolled over, wiping his hands down his face before he sat up and gave her a half smile as a greeting. Perched in her chair, one knee bent as she rested her chin on it, Jayah found the scene to be far cuter than it should have been.

“Morning, flyboy,” she said. “How are you feeling?”

Poe yawned loudly, stretching his arms over his head before he looked at her again with another smile, this one more awake. “Good. Really good. How long you been up?” he asked in return.

Jayah shook her head as she got up and made him a bowl of the oats she had been eating for breakfast, “Not long. Not even BB-8 has powered up yet,” she remarked, handing him the bowl. “I must have worn you both out.”

Poe smiled up at her before he took a bite. “Nah. Well, maybe a bit,” he answered after he finished. “But it was good. I was a little too coped up. I think he has been too.”

“Then I have a proposition for you,” Jayah said with a smirk as she took up her seat once more at the table.

He raised his eyebrows, “I’m intrigued.”

“It’s nothing too outrageous,” she laughed. “I thought since yesterday went so well and my food stores are still low, we could head out and do a little hunting of a different kind today.”

“Different?” he asked around another bite of food.

“Yup,” she smiled as she pulled up her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Just some bird hunting. It’s not too difficult.”

Poe’s eyes seemed to light up, though he did keep his face impassive, “I think that doesn’t sound bad at all.”

Jayah pursed her lips to keep from letting out a chuckle. She then started to pick at her leggings, “There also is a spot I want to show you, where I go to take my baths.”

He raised an eyebrow.

She shrugged, “After a week, you’re starting to stink.”

He stared at her with a look of confusion for a whole five seconds before he started to laugh. The sound caused Jayah to smile brightly.

“Okay, okay. Sounds like a plan then,” he replied, standing.

They gathered up their packs — Poe snagging an extra set of clothes from his pack Jayah had brought from the X-Wing — just as BB-8 powered up as well and then headed out for the day. It didn’t take long for them to find and start tracking a flock of birds. Jayah was in no hurry as they followed them, and was happy Poe seemed to be just as inclined to take their time.

Today, they didn’t talk as much, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. Mostly, Jayah was enjoying his mere presence in hers. Hearing his sure steps behind her, his deep breaths, just  _feeling_  him near her. 

The flock was not going easy on them today, moving rapidly as soon as Jayah felt confident she was close enough to get a good shot before scattering the birds. Finally the whole bunch settled in a tree with a good height for her to see them.

“You stay here, I’m gonna circle a bit and try a shot. Once they scatter, hopefully some of them go this way and you can get a shot off too,” she whispered to Poe.

He nodded, “Be careful, ok?” he whispered back, his hand touching the small of her back before she could step away.

Jayah gave him a soft smile, “Don’t worry, flyboy. I will.”

She snuck around, keeping her gaze up and on the birds the entire time. She had done this a thousand times in possibly a thousand different spots around the moon. Her footsteps were sure and she was very confident in her aim. For some reason, however, her hearing failed her. Just as Jayah was about to settle into a stance for her shot, she heard a deep snarl and snap of twigs behind her.

“Shit,” she breathed, turning just in time to see the giant animal charging toward her, roaring and seething with each step.

Jayah raised her blaster as she heard the faint sound of Poe calling her name. She let off a shot right at the creature, but couldn’t be sure she hit it as it leapt toward her with a raised claw. Jayah dove to her right but not fast enough, and cried out as she felt the flesh of her left shoulder rip open.

Another blaster shot sounded above her as she crumbled to the ground. The creature roared fiercely once more and disappeared into the jungle.

Jayah rolled over, her hand immediately clutching her bleeding shoulder. She hissed in pain, looking up at the sky and cursing her luck. Suddenly, more rustling came from nearby but this time she knew it was Poe and BB-8.

“Jayah!” he called out as soon as he saw her, sliding to the ground by her side and helping her sit up. “Kriffing hell, how bad?” he asked, his voice serious and concerned.

“Just my shoulder,” she got out through clenched teeth. “But I don’t know how deep.”

Poe nodded and gently took her hand, trying to pull it back from her shoulder to see her wound, but Jayah held fast. The adrenaline was wearing off and she wasn’t sure she wanted to see what the creature had done to her.

“Come on, sweetheart, you have to let me look,” Poe coaxed gently, his other hand on her waist squeezing her reassuringly.

Jayah swallowed hard and then nodded, turning her head as he pulled her hand back. He made no sound as he examined her shoulder and she couldn’t decide if that was good or bad. Finally, he let out what seemed like a relieved sigh.

“It’s not too bad at all. Not too deep, but some derma clips wouldn’t hurt it,” he said softly, gently still. The tone was soothing and Jayah appreciated that more than she could say.

“We need to get it cleaned though, and wrapped up,” he continued. “You okay to walk? Didn’t hurt anything when it knocked you down?”

She shook her head, “No, I think I’m good.”  

“Okay,” Poe answered, smiling softly at her as he stood, then leaned down to pick her up and sit her on her feet. “So much for the birds.”

She choked out a laugh to keep a sob back — she hadn’t been terrified nor was the pain too horrible, but for some reason she was shook up. Poe’s arm around her waist as they walked gave her an anchor and for that, Jayah was glad.

“You have a place we can get this washed up?” he asked, allowing her to lead even though he kept his arm around her.

“Yeah, the waterfall and pool I was going to take you to isn’t too far from here,” she said as led him and BB-8 on. “Just ahead.”

Thankfully her sense of direction didn’t let her down and soon, Jayah was leading Poe and BB-8 down a small hill toward the waterfall and pool of water she frequented. As they worked their way down the incline, Poe took over the lead, guiding Jayah over to the edge of the pool and helping her to sit. Her shoulder was starting to throb so she gladly took the assistance.

He started to scoop up water in his hands, trickling it over her wound to gently wash away the blood and dirt. “I don’t suppose you’ve got some med supplies in that pack of yours,” he asked softly as he worked.

Jayah shifted uneasily and hissed in pain as the water worked. Poe breathed an apology.

“I don’t have gauze. We’re going to have to get creative with that. But I do have some antibacterial salve. Always carry a small jar just in case,” she answered, trying to keep her breathing even.

“Okay, good. I can tear some fabric from my shirt, we can use that,” he said, taking once last scoop of water to her shoulder.

“No, you only have a few clothes with you. I’ve got more,” she shook her head. “We can rip my tunic. It’ll be fine.”

He looked up and quirked an eyebrow at her, but said nothing more. Jayah used her free hand to dig in her bag at her side for the salve to hand over to him. Then she handed him her knife, to cut her tunic, she explained and she watched as he swallowed hard.

“You sure?” he asked as he took the bottom of her tunic in one hand.

She nodded, “Trust me, I have plenty more. And it’s what we’ve got, so.”

Poe took a deep breath and dropped his gaze, taking the knife to cut a notch in the hem. Then he grabbed and tugged, the sound of ripping fabric echoing around them as he pulled a long strip from her tunic, then cut it off with the knife. Jayah watched him, her eyes fixated on his face and hands as he worked. His hands and fingers were calloused but she didn’t mind as he spread the antibacterial ointment on her wound. A sigh left her lips as her eyes moved to watch him wrap her shoulder. She was going to scar badly, she figured. Cosmetically, she didn’t quite care that much, but still …

“You okay?” Poe asked softly as he continued to wind the cloth around her shoulder.

Jayah sighed again, “Yes. Thank you. Just … it’s gonna be a hell of a scar.”

He smiled softly and looked up at her as he tied off the wrapping, “But scars are sexy,” he said, winking at her.

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t tease me,” she said softly, looking over at her shoulder.

Poe was quiet a moment before he gently ran his fingers over the bandage. “I would never,” he said.

Jayah scoffed softly and good-naturedly, moving to stand. She was happy Poe didn’t jump to help her as if she were feeble. “Of course you would,” she countered with a smile.

He stood as well and returned her smile before he gave her a serious look. “You sure you’re okay?”

She nodded, “Yeah. It feels sore and I’m sure I’ll be stiff as all hell tomorrow. But I’ll be fine.”

Before he could say more, she turned and gestured to the pool and waterfall. “So, here’s where I take my baths,” she said lamely.

As if to prove her right at feeling silly, Poe chuckled as he looked about, “I can see that. It’s a nice spot.”

“Thanks,” she replied, gathering up her pack again. “So, I’ll leave you to it. If you look over this way,” she paused to point at the opposite side of the clearing from where they had come down the hill, “There’s a path there that I keep clear. It leads you straight back to the hut.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “Okay, gotcha. You sure…”

Jayah turned back and smiled at him, “Yes, Poe. I’m fine. You get cleaned up because I’m not letting you back in stinking,” she joked.

It seemed to loosen the tension in him and he nodded, “Okay, okay. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

She nodded and turned, making sure to keep her steps unrushed and steady. As she reached the top of the hillside, she heard BB-8 beeping after her and turned to see the little droid coming after her.

Poe told me to follow and keep an eye on you, it chirped as she looked at it questioningly.

Jayah couldn’t help but laugh quietly, “I’m okay, seriously. That’s sweet of you both, but honestly I’ve had worse.”

The little droid beeped and booped — but she was hurt and when Poe was hurt, Jayah watched over him. So someone should watch over Jayah.

She felt her heart warm, knowing Poe had told the droid that to get it to follow her. Her eyes moved back down to the pool unwillingly, of course just in time to catch the pilot pulling his shirt up over his head. She immediately turned back to BB-8, clearing her throat.

“You should stay with Poe, look after him,” Jayah said softly, feeling her cheeks grow warm as she fought to keep her gaze from darting back to the pilot. “Don’t let him linger too long, okay? It’ll be dark before he knows it.”

BB-8 beeped in agreement, but still hesitated before returning to its master — was Jayah  _sure_  she didn’t want the company? 

She pulled in a deep breath and her eyes went to Poe, just as he undid the button on his pants, starting to push them down his hips. Jayah turned her back to the scene quickly, “I — I’m sure, BB. I’ll see you both soon,” she told it before practically sprinting back to the hut.


	14. Chapter 13: Starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annnnngst. So much angst. This chapter is huge, but it’s important.

_Stop it, stop thinking about him,_ Jayah chastised herself, walking into her home and making herself busy immediately to keep her focus. Could she truly be so foolish? Feeling like a damn school girl, blushing and staring at him ridiculously. And why? Just because Poe was the first man to literally drop from the sky in the three years she had been on the moon?

A voice in the back of her mind told her it was more than that and she knew it. But at that moment, she gave the voice a shove. She wasn’t going to allow any hope in that regard. It would just give her heartbreak in the end.  

So she busied herself getting supper together, then undoing Poe’s makeshift bandage to slap on a bacta patch over her shoulder, and re-wrap the wound with fresh gauze as best as she could. Turning from the pot she now had over the fire, Jayah looked down and groaned in frustration — her tunic was splotched with her own blood and dirt, on top of the long rip at the bottom. That wouldn’t do.

Taking what was left of the bottom hem, she pulled it up and suddenly cried out in pain at the action. Raising her injured arm caused a sharp, burning pain to spike through her shoulder.

She forced herself to take in a deep breath; maybe if she did it quickly, she could get the tunic off and the pain would only be temporary. But as she tried again, this time faster, the sound that left her was more like a sob, tears pricking her eyes as the pain grew more intense.

Jayah’s fingers dropped the the cloth in defeat and she raised her hand to wipe away the tears just as Poe and BB-8 came through the door. One look at her had his dark eyes clouding in concern, “Are you all right? What happened?”

She was surprised at how quickly he closed the distance between them, Jayah hurriedly wiped at her eyes, “No, I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

Standing in front of her, Poe’s eyes assessed her from head to toe, obviously looking for some other injury he may have missed from earlier. He reached out and gently ran his hands down her arms, “Why were you crying?” he asked softly.

Jayah licked her lips and shook her head, “It’s nothing, Poe. I swear.”

Finally, he pulled his eyes up to hers, giving her a look that clearly stated he did not believe her. She let out a heavy sigh.

“My tunic is a mess and I was trying take it off, but I can’t raise my arm up because it hurts too much,” she answered hurriedly, looking everywhere but at him.

Poe looked at her blankly for two seconds and Jayah rolled her eyes, “It’s not that big of a deal…”

“No, it’s not. I’ll just help you,” he interrupted, hands immediately dropping to her tunic and pulling it up.

Heat raced to her cheeks as her hands batted his away, “What are you doing? Are you crazy?!”

He laughed — _laughed!_ — and put his hands on his hips, “You want out of the tunic or not?”

“Yes!” she said indignantly. “But I mean…”

Poe took a deep breath and looked at her seriously, “If you don’t want my help, I get it. But you probably should get out of that tunic.”

Jayah pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing at him. It was silly. And weird. And she hated how she needed his help with it. Her brain ran over every possible solution except the one he was presenting and came up with nothing.

“Look, you’re wearing a … a binding under there, right?” Poe asked, his voice catching in the middle of the question.

“Yes, of course,” Jayah replied indignantly again, moving to wrap her arms around herself. She then sighed, “All right, fine.”

Thankfully, he didn’t laugh or give her a cocky smile. The look in his eyes was more concern, telling her she could trust him. Still, her heart rammed against her chest as Poe reached again for the hem of her tunic and started to pull it up her body. Jayah swallowed hard, closing her eyes so she didn’t have to see his reaction as her stomach was bared, then her breast binding. With soft words and gentle touches, he helped guide her good arm through the sleeve and then easily over her head. For some reason, Jayah’s eyes opened again, watching him concentrate on moving the tunic over her injured shoulder and down the last bit of her body. His dark eyes gave away nothing but a thoughtful focus on not hurting her.

When the tunic was off, Poe tossed it behind her onto the bed and then met her gaze. “Okay?” he asked softly.

If Jayah had not been hyper aware before how close they were and what they were doing, she was now. The look in his eyes was shifting and she felt a heat pool in the pit of her stomach. “Yes. Thank you,” she answered softly, trying to keep her body from swaying into his.

Poe’s dark eyes moved down over her and she lost the battle, leaning into him slightly. His hands went to her waist, helping keep her up right. “Do you…” he paused and cleared his throat, but the tone was still different, deeper. “Do you need help with a new tunic?” he asked.

She couldn’t rightly find her voice so she just nodded slowly, her eyes wide as she looked at him. He nodded as well, moving over to where she kept a stack of clothes on some shelves and Jayah swallowed hard, hugging herself again, feeling self-conscious about herself. It was a feeling she wasn’t entirely used to. Why would she care what Poe thought?

“Okay, sweetheart, let’s start with your left,” he said, his voice still deep and warm like whiskey.

Just like before, he guided the tunic back on her with ease, pulling it down her body. She sucked in a breath as the knuckles of his fingers skimmed along her sides. Once he let go of the hem, the fabric fell into place and Jayah moved her eyes from the point on his chest she had been staring at up to his eyes. She was sure he could hear her heart pounding.

“Thank you,” she said softly again, only because she couldn’t think of anything else to say and the moment around them seemed so fragile, she was afraid to break it.

“It’s the least I could do,” Poe answered, his voice just as soft and his eyes dark. “Are you feeling okay?”

That broke some of the tension in her, causing Jayah to smile, “Yeah, I’m okay. You hungry?”

And just like that, the moment didn’t shatter, just shifted with ease and comfort. She moved over to the fire as Poe told her he was famished, plopping down in a chair and running a hand through his damp curls. He looked much better now that he had cleaned up, and he gave up smiles to her in abundance.

After they had finished eating, Poe shooed her away from cleaning up, claiming he should help her out more and pull his weight. She almost started to argue but … it was nice. So Jayah kept her mouth shut and found herself with nothing to occupy her time. Suddenly, an idea hit her.

“Hey,” she said, turning from the window she’d been looking out of to direct her words at Poe. “I think I’m going to sit outside for a bit, stargaze a little. If you want to join, you’re more than welcome.”

Halfway through the explanation, she felt herself become a bit self conscious. She told herself if he turned her down, she wouldn’t be upset.

But he smiled and her heart leapt. “That actually sounds like a really good plan.”

So they both walked outside, BB-8 rolling ahead of them and around the clearing, doing more exploring. Jayah took one of her older blankets she used for this exact thing, and laid it out on the ground up against the hut, gently lowering herself to the ground. Poe followed, leaving a respectful distance between the two of them. Jayah couldn’t explain it, but it disappointed her a bit.

She leaned back against her home, the hardened clay still warm from the sun, and stared up at the stars. The sky was extremely clear, looking an inky, deep blue instead of black, and the stars twinkled and winked down at her. Her heart felt full and yet, it was as if something was missing.

BB-8 was beeping and booping softly in the distance, chasing some of the fireflies and examining the other things that crossed his path. Poe let out a soft chuckle next to her and then shifted, leaning back against the hut as well.

Jayah felt a sudden wave of emotion come of her and she couldn’t stop herself from feeling a bit melancholy.

“I miss it,” she found herself saying suddenly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Poe turn his head to look at her, “Space?” he asked softly.

She nodded. “When I was a kid, it was all I could think about. Sitting at my window in the orphanage, I would watch the squads come in and just wish I could be good enough to be one of them someday. When I came here, when I decided to stay grounded, it was almost like ripping out a part of my own soul.”

He still was looking at her, but she kept her eyes up at the sky, afraid that if she looked elsewhere, especially at him, she would lose her nerve.

“The X-Wings were always my favorite. I’m not sure why, but they just seemed faster, cooler. The X-Wing pilots could pull the coolest maneuvers and roll spins,” she paused and smiled softly. “I wanted to be one of them so damn bad, I would dream about it. I was so young, but I just knew that’s what I would do. ”

Out of the corner of her eye she could see him grinning so she finally chanced turning her head to look at him. He looked … well she didn’t know how to quite explain it. He looked in awe of her, which was stupid.  

“What?” she asked finally, cracking herself with a soft puff of a laugh.

Poe pursed his lips and shook his head, “Nothing, I just … I’m not surprised?”

Jayah rolled her eyes and pushes at his shoulder lightly, but ended up smiling. “What about you? When did you know?”

Poe pulled in a long breath, tipping his head back now to look up at the stars. Jayah took the opportunity to study him; his profile, the line of his neck …

“Always have loved it. I can’t remember when I didn’t. I blame my mother,” he said, turning and giving her a slow smirk. “She took me up in her A-Wing when I was six. I don’t remember much, of course. The wind coming through the cracked cockpit dome. Her laugh. The way her hands were on top of mine, guiding the stick.”

Jayah felt an odd feeling rush over her; a calm and something else altogether undistinguishable that made her feel warm all over, despite the air being a bit chilly. There also was a tension between them that she couldn’t deny anymore. She found herself swallowing hard and trying to not stare at his mouth as he talked.

“When did you first fly?” he asked, drawing her out of her reverie.

The question didn’t make her shrink away, which she herself found surprising. Instead, Jayah bite her lower lip as she dropped her head and tried to fight the smile at the memory that came back in a rush. “Well, I was a bit mischievous as a kid, if you can imagine,” she started.

“Noooo, I don’t believe it,” Poe teased her, smiling as she pushed his shoulder again.

“When I was 10, I started to sneak out to the flight deck, to get up and close to see the squadrons take off and land. I kept trying to get closer and closer every time; I never got caught, even though there were times when I should have been,” she started.

“One night, an X-Wing squad was coming to run night drills and I was so excited, I crept closer to their ships. I don’t know how, but the CO — Syna Cote was her name — turned and looked right at me as the group was walking by my hiding spot,” Jayah paused to laugh and ran a hand through her hair shyly. “When she told the squad to go ahead and start without her, I thought I had gotten away with it. But once they were out of sight, she turned and bent down in front of me, completely called me out.”

Poe was looking at her with what could only be explained as pure delight, listening to her intently like a child would. It seemed so silly to her, but it almost was like she was handing him a precious little gem and he intended to horde it, and more.

It gave her courage to continue.

“She asked me what I was doing out there and I was so scared I was going to get in trouble, I just started telling her everything. And I mean _everything_ ,” Jayah pulled her knees up close and smiled. “How I loved X-Wings and watched the patrols every night they went out. I wanted nothing more than to fly one day.”

Jayah turned to him, resting her cheek against her knees as she smiled at him, “So she held out her hand and told me to come with her. Next thing I knew, she was guiding me up the ladder into her X-Wing. She took me up for drills that night.”

“Wow,” Poe said, admiringly.

“Yeah,” Jayah agreed, feeling content as she continued. “She put me through the runner too, didn’t spare me from one barrel roll, one low yo-yo, even a hyperspace jump. I didn’t get sick once.” She felt the surge of pride return in her as she leaned back again to stare up at the stars. “It was the best night of my life up until that point.”

She could still feel his eyes on her and after a moment, she got brave enough to turn toward him. His smile was soft, his head leaned back against the hut as well as he looked at her. Hands folded across his stomach, his eyes looked at her as if he knew something she didn’t.

“How many times did Commander Cote take you up?” he asked.

She pushed out a breath and then laughed, “Stars, dozens. Dozens upon dozens. She taught me _everything_ ,” she replied. “I still say the reason I passed top of my class was because I practically knew everything before I got into academy.”

The wind picked up and a chill went through her, causing her to shiver involuntarily. Poe shifted closer. Jayah found she didn’t mind.

“I mean, she went over it all. Mechanics, the best astromechs, the different maneuvers, all kinds of dog fight formations,” she laughed again. “When Cote didn’t have night runs, she was tutoring me. She even got me into academy — wrote my recommendation letter and everything.”

Suddenly, a large wave of sadness overcame Jayah and she rested her chin against her bent knees again, feeling the shadow of it cross her face. “She was probably on Hosnian Prime when…”

Poe reached out and gently laid a hand on her arm, “I’m sorry, Jayah.”

She swallowed hard, biting back the tears that threatened at this new realization that overcame her. “She meant the world to me. Introduced me to Leia, told me the Resistance needed me. When I was a kid…,” she stopped, not sure she was ready to confess to someone else her thoughts.

Poe moved his hand up, across her shoulder and moved closer, hugging her body to his. Jayah squeezed her eyes shut.

“When I was a kid, I told her I wished she had been my mom,” she whispered. “She’d looked at me like it made her sad, and I thought she pitied me. I went home that night, not intending to sneak back to the flight deck ever again, because I didn’t want her pity.”

“What happened?” he asked, his voice strained. His body was warm against her, reassuring. He smelled clean, like the water of the pool and the forest right after a rain shower.

“Syna came and found me, of course,” Jayah scoffed, wiping at her face. “Walked right into the orphanage, gave me an earful for missing lessons, and dragged me out to her X-Wing.”

She paused a moment and turned to look at him again, “I had no idea what she’d do to me. I was kind of scared. But she took me up for a solo flight, she told me if I ever missed her lessons again, I would never get to fly. I had to work hard, be on time, and pass all her quizzes.”

Her eyes met his, “She told me it didn’t matter who my parents were. She was going to teach me everything she knew. And if she didn’t know it, we would find out together. Other than Leia and my caregivers at the orphanage, Syna has been the most important person in my life. I never called her mom and she never called me her daughter. But I always thought … maybe it was really like that, you know? We didn’t say it, but it was like that.”

They were silent for the longest time after that; Poe didn’t move his arm and Jayah didn’t feel the need to scoot away. They stared up at the sky, and occasionally glanced at one another, for at least a few more hours — Jayah hadn’t been entire sure. BB-8 came back from a jaunt around the perimeter of the clearing and declared it was ready to power down for the night.

“We should get you to bed too,” Poe said softly, rousing her from her semi-dazed state.

Jayah found herself nodding slowly and allowing him to help her to her feet, guiding her back inside.

Once inside, the fire low and crackling softly, Poe lead her over to her bed, trying to coax her to sit.

“No,” she mumbled, shaking her head. “You’re still healing.”

“Jayah,” he said softly, brushing the hair from her face, “I’m fine. You hurt your shoulder today; sleeping on a dirt floor is only going to make it hurt worse.”

She pulled in a deep breath, “But I have one more place to take you tomorrow, and if you don’t get a good night sleep…”

He chuckled, “Sweetheart, if you don’t get a good sleep, we aren’t going anywhere. Take the bed. The floor isn’t going to kill me.”

Her heart thudded happily and her body took her down to the bed before she could verbally agree. “Okay, fine,” she conceded. “But only because I’m too tired and my arm hurts too much to argue.”

She watched Poe’s smile spread slowly across his face, “See? That wasn’t so hard.”

Jayah rolled her eyes and found herself snuggling into the familiarity of her bed. Her eyes closed and she felt Poe drag the cover up over her shoulder. “Don’t let me sleep in,” was the last thing she remembered saying before sleep settled in.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Poe couldn’t help it — he sat by Jayah’s side as she drifted off to sleep and kept the spot for several minutes to make sure she had fallen into a deep sleep and wouldn’t wake again to argue more with him.

He smiled softly, watching her steady breath before he stood and went to the spot he had first occupied the night he arrived on Felucia VI. Getting situated on his back and staring up at the domed ceiling of the hut, Poe pulled in a deep, calm breath.

Jayah opening up like that earlier had surprised him, but in a good way. He had been eager to hear more, looking at her with wide eyes and cherishing every bit of information she freely gave. And it had given him such a new, deeper perspective of her. She had been so animated, talking about her past with Commander Syna Cote.

But then a darkness had come over her, and he got a glimpse of the sadness she had been harboring. The same sadness Poe knew had driven her to her exile.

He sighed, shifting and putting his hands behind his head. He had to get her off this moon. She couldn’t stay here by herself. Plans and thoughts were still tumbling in his head as sleep finally took him…

_The stars winked and jostled before him. The X-Wing he was in seemed familiar, and yet …_

_“I said pull back, Kryal, that’s an order!” a voice echoed in the cockpit. Poe looked around, unable to see who might have been yelling at him in comms. He was alone in the inky space, not planets to give him an orientation._

_“No,” another voice echoed, this one clearly Jayah._

_Poe swiveled his head again, looking for her, “Jayah? Jayah, it’s Poe. Do you hear me?”_

_“Red Squadron, on me!” her voice sounded again, this time determined, fierce._

_Blaster sounds, echoing yells, Jayah’s voice crying out. Poe began to feel frantic, trying to find her, calling out to her. He had to find her, had to help her…_

Poe jerked awake, sitting up and looking around, thoroughly confused for a moment about where he was. Quickly though, he gathered his bearings, only to be greeted with the sound of heavy, panicked breathing and sniffling. He turned his head and his eyes immediately connected with Jayah’s. Her blue eyes were wide with fear and panic, her hands up and shaking.

He was on his feet in a heartbeat, rushing toward her, “Jayah? What happened, are you okay?” he asked rapidly, quietly.

As he sat on the bed, it was as if she were broken from a trance — she jumped as he reached for her, looking confused and grief-stricken.

“Shh, it’s okay. Sweetheart, it’s just me. It’s Poe,” he said softly, fear gripping him. What happened to get her in this state?

Jayah blinked once, seeming to come back to herself and recognizing him sitting next to her. Her eyes filled with tears, “It’s my fault. They’re all gone and —” her voice caught on a sob and her hands covered her face.

Poe’s heart broke, clean in half, at seeing her pain and hearing it in her voice. She rocked forward and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body into his. He held her close, one arm secure around her back while the other hand cradled the back of her head, brushing his fingers through her hair.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Jayah, it’s okay,” he whispered as soothingly as he could.

She sobbed and mumbled against him incoherently, her hands gripping his shirt as she shook in his arms. He could barely make out what it was she said — most of it revolved around a loss. And how she blamed herself. Poe did all he could to console her, whispering softly occasionally, but not letting her go as she cried and clutched at him.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before her crying tapered off. Poe didn’t move, too afraid to startle her. After another moment, Jayah pulled back, sniffling as she wiped at her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, her voice hoarse.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he replied immediately, not wanting her to feel scared or regret.

It already was bad enough she wouldn’t look up at him. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms gently, “Jayah,” he whispered, hoping to encourage her to feel safe.

“What did Leia tell you about me?” she asked, still not looking up.

Poe took a deep breath, knowing he had to form his words carefully. “That you had lost a lot; that you were haunted by your grief,” he said.

She sniffled again and gave a half-hearted chuckled, “Diplomatic as ever.”

He didn’t push her, only gently squeezed her to let her know he was willing to hear whatever she had to say.

Jayah swallowed hard, flattening a palm against his chest and staring at the spot. “When I was with the New Republic Navy, I was a member of Gold Squadron.”

Poe’s chest clenched, “I remember Gold Squad…you’re the survivor?”

She nodded. It took her a moment, but she spoke again, “We were used to escort missions. That was our bread and butter. We used to … we used to joke it was so boring. Then one day, we were guarding a supply shipment to a planet that was known to be continually hit by the First Order. The damn Senate kept saying it was pirates, but everyone knew…”

“We came out of hyperspace and everything seemed fine,” she continued, her fingers curling against him. “Then three TIE fighters came out of nowhere. We should have known …”

“You don’t have to, Jayah,” Poe started, stopping short from saying he knew the story. Gold Squadron had been the first to have been openly attacked by the First Order, what most in the Resistance believed was the Order’s first test against the Senate. It had been a success for them — Gold Squadron had been completely destroyed, save the rumor of one survivor who had come back to report to the Senate. Only Poe remembered the hearing never happened, the story died down, and life went on. He remembered being flustered and confused, seeing the empty spots of Gold Squadron on the flight deck had affected the entire fleet.

Jayah shook her head and leaned forward, pressing her forehead against him, “I had been ordered back. My CO Jax … it was his last command before they shot him down. To get back and tell the Senate. But it was for nothing. The high command wouldn’t even see me.”

Her voice changed then, became deeper, darker, and angrier. “They gave me six months leave. Told me to go home,” she scoffed, “I had no home anymore. Syna came and got me, put me up for a bit. She pulled as many strings as she could to get me in front of senators, but they all shut the door. She was so pissed…”

A deep breath, “I had decided to basically put my career on the line. I was going to get my story, _Gold Squad’s story,_ to the Senate no matter the cost. I knew I would lose my wings, but I told myself it would be worth it.”

He understood that more than she probably would know. After Muran’s death, Poe nearly lost his wings too, trying to find the truth, the evidence to convince those in power.

“Once again, Syna appeared in my life at the right moment. Dragged me to the most random building on base, pulled me into a dark room, and dropped me in front of Leia,” Jayah laughed humorlessly, shaking her head. “Kriffing Leia Organa. I didn’t know whether to be deathly afraid or excited out of my mind.”

Poe matched her chuckle, “I remember that feeling.”

There, finally, she looked up at him. Her blue eyes filled with regret, sadness, guilt… his heart recognized it all.

“She made me an offer I couldn’t refuse — join the Resistance, stop the First Order, avenge my squadron, help the galaxy,” she shook her head, “All the reasons I became a pilot.”

“So of course I went. Gladly. I went on any mission she would give me — reconnaissance, spying, tricky supply runs, droid recovery. After a year, Leia made me a commander, all the while telling me to mind my anger — to be aware of it, to understand it, but never to give into it.”

Jayah paused, sighed so deeply, Poe felt it through him. She wiped tears from her face again, “She gave me Red Squadron … her damn brother’s squadron. She gave them to me and ordered us to Dagobah. Leia had been afraid Snoke was gathering up any and all bits of relics that could be tied back to Luke. She had received a report First Order was sending a unit to Dagobah, so we were to go and stop them from finding anything.”

“It was a dog fight from the get go, and we were completely out gunned. Leia’s operative had given her bad intel and we were in the middle before we knew we’d begun,” Jayah continued, running a hand through her hair. Poe didn’t miss how it started to shake. “Leia ordered us out, but … I was tired of running. I was tired of them winning. So, I disobeyed. I ordered the squadron to follow me on, to take out those murders. We were picked off, one by one. I was shot down, crashed. Barely remember anything.”

The tears started again, trekking paths down her cheeks. “I woke up six weeks later, barely able to walk. I knew then the horrible thing I had done.” She paused and bowed her head from his gaze, “They trusted me, followed me and didn’t even question. They fought with me, for _me_. All for my anger. They died because of my anger,” she choked out, closing her eyes. “And I should have died with them.”

“No, sweetheart, no,” Poe jumped in now, his voice hoarse. “The First Order is to blame, not you. You survived for a reason.”

Jayah shook her head furiously, “No, Poe. They were loyal to me, to the Resistance. And I used that… I used that to get revenge. And now they’re all gone. They’re all gone and it’s my fault.”

The sobs overtook her gain, wracking her frame and making her seem so withdrawn, so small. Poe ached for her, knew the pain she felt, the grief, the guilt. He wrapped her up in his arms again and pulled her close, wishing he could do something more to take away her pain.

They clung to each other and Poe had no idea what time it was when Jayah’s breathing evened out, telling him she had fallen asleep against him. Carefully, he shifted and gently moved their bodies in an attempt to lay her back down on the bed. He was successful in getting her situated, extracting her hands from him and started to pull away.

As soon as he shifted, however, Jayah pulled in a breath and turned, grabbing his hand. “Please … don’t leave,” she said, her voice heavy with exhaustion.

Poe swallowed hard, “Are you sure?” he asked, even though he knew she most likely was not coherent enough to know what she was asking.

“Please,” she said again. He caved.

Gently, he moved her closer to the wall as he slipped in beside her, pulling the cover up over her body as he settled in. Jayah turned to face him and reached for him. Again, Poe gave what she sought, taking her hand to intertwine their fingers. She shifted closer, burrowing against him and heavying out a deep breath.

Poe let out a breath of his own, resting his chin on top of her head. His mind was churning with all the information she had shared with him and his heart felt heavy for her. And then, an odd thought ran through him. Just as he drifted off, the dream she had jarred him from came back to the front of his mind … how he had heard her voice, and the sounds of blaster shots.


	15. Chapter 14: The A-Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So … wow. Okay. This is more than 6,000 words. Yup. There’s a lot going on and a lot of POV jumping, and I feel I have to apologize for that because there were certain scenes that I wanted told from one or the other. SO yeah. Also, there’s a deep conversation in here between Poe and Leia, which I just have to say, I heard it all in my head, in Carrie’s voice, and it made me cry. I know she knew how much she meant to all of us as Leia, but I also hope she knew and knows how how much she meant to us as Carrie. <3

Sleep left her slowly, causing Jayah to blink her eyes lazily as her vision came into focus. There was a slight pounding of her head, but she knew from experience that had been from the crying and would hopefully vanish as she got up and moved about with the day.

The next thought that occurred to her was how she had laid herself bare to Poe the night before. She waited for her heart to clench in panic, and it did a tiny bit, but it did not flood with regret afterward. In fact, she felt lighter, _freer_ for having finally opened up to him.

The sunlight was creeping across the wall in front of her and Jayah shifted and turned, expecting to see Poe still laying behind her. But he wasn’t there. **  
**

She sat up quickly, the panic now filling her veins. BB-8 was nowhere in sight either.

“Poe?” she called out, looking around for anything that would say he was coming back. “BB-8?”

She quickly threw the covers off and swung her legs over the side of the bed. They left … she couldn’t believe it, they left. _No,_ her mind refused to believe it. _There’s no way. He wouldn’t do that to you_.

Jayah stood, finding her boots and slipping them on before running to the door. Throwing it open, she came to a halt, gasping as Poe stepped forward and nearly collided with her. **  
**

“Whoa!” he said, chuckling as he reached out and gently took a hold of her arm to steady himself. He then smiled softly at her, “Good morning. How’s your arm feeling?”

She blinked once, twice, feeling her heart thudding and the panic take its sweet time leaving her. As she remained silent, Poe’s brow crinkled in confusion, his hold on her tightening a fraction as he stepped into her space.

“Jayah?” he asked softly, concern brimming in his voice.

Jayah found herself swallowing hard, “I woke up, and you weren’t here,” she said simply.

He nodded regretfully, “I know. I’m sorry. I had hoped to be back before you woke up. BB-8 and I ran out to the X-Wing crash. I wanted to grab a few things that had fallen out of my bag.”

She pursed her lips and nodded, telling herself that was completely logical and there was nothing to be upset about. He didn’t leave, he was right there. She had not driven him away with telling him the truth …

BB-8 peeked around Poe’s legs, beeping up at her in concern — was she okay? Did something happen? Did she need help?

“Easy, buddy,” Poe said gently, then guiding Jayah to take a step back into the hut. “Let’s not overwhelm her. We’re right here, Jayah. It’s okay.”

Jayah could only continue to nod, as if she has become one of those ridiculous bobble headed toys Jax had used to keep in his cockpit. The memory hit her and emotion welled up inside her unwillingly.

“I thought … I thought maybe you,” she started, unable to even speak aloud what she had been fearful of.

“Hey,” he interrupted softly, sitting his pack down and gently cupping her elbows with both his hands. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? Not yet and certainly not without letting you know. Got it?”

The sureness of his words, the truth she knew was behind them, had the panic ebb and a relieved breath pass her lips. Just as quickly as it all had hit her, it was gone. Jayah forced another deep breath through her lips as she met his gaze. Then, all rational thought seemed to leave her — she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, “Thank you,” she breathed sincerely.

She knew she had surprised him, had completely thrown him off, but Poe did not hesitate in his response. His arms wrapped around her in turn, hugging her tightly. “You’re welcome,” he answered. “I hope you don’t regret what happened last night.”

Honestly, she found now she didn’t. “Now that I know I didn’t run you off, I don’t,” she said lightly, hoping to ease the tension as she started to pull away.

He gave her a soft smile, “Seriously though, Jayah. You never have to be afraid of telling me anything. I won’t judge you. I’m the last person who can judge anyone.”

The string of irrational thought in her continued as she reached forward and squeezed his hand, “Same goes, you know,” she told him.

His dark eyes met hers and he nodded, pursing his lips, “I’ll remember that.”

“You should,” she reaffirmed before stepping back into the hut to finally allow the two of them in. “Did you already eat?”

“Yeah,” he said sheepishly, picking up his pack again and following her. “I didn’t want to wake you. I knew you needed the rest.”

Jayah felt her cheeks warm with affection, “Thanks. Do you have an extra protein pack? I can eat that just fine.”

BB-8 beeped and rolled over to the pack, pulling one out and tossing it up to her. She smiled at the droid, “Thanks, BB.” She then moved over to the bed, crawling onto it and crossing her legs as she watched Poe put his pack on the table and started rummaging through it. “What were you missing? If you don’t mind me asking,” she said around her bite.

He looked up from the pack and smirked at her, “I don’t mind at all. Just a few little things. My flight log, a good luck token I won from Snap in a poker game. Trivial things, but I thought it would be a good walk this morning.”

“A token you won in a poker game, huh?” she teased, finishing her protein bar.

“Hey, those games are do or die on Resistance base. We’re serious about it,” Poe replied, a bright grin on his face.

“Uh huh. Okay,” Jayah said, unfolding her legs. “So, did you wear yourself out too much, or can I drag you off to my next spot on the moon?”

He chuckled, “You’re awful concerned about my stamina lately.”

She felt her cheeks warm with a blush again, her mind thinking things she knew he was _not_ referring to. “Well, I just want to make sure I’m not pushing you too much. Especially since this is a surprise.”

Poe crossed his arms and smiled at her cheekily, “I promise you, I’m just fine. What’s this surprise?” **  
**

BB-8 chimed in as well — and could I tag along?

“Of course you can, BB. I need you since it’s a surprise for you both,” Jayah answered with a chuckle.

“You never said what the surprise is,” Poe said.

Jayah grabbed her pack and blaster, giving him a smirk as she sauntered past him, “If I did that, Commander, then it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it?”

Her arm was fairly sore and stiff from her wound and Poe would not go anywhere until she allowed him to take off the bandage, check it, clean it, and rewrap it. So she turned back from the door and allowed him to work without protest. Honestly, she was glad he allowed her panic attack from earlier to drop, not pushing her to say anything else or explain herself, so she thought it would be in her best interest to keep quiet. Plus, it was endearing how he was careful with her and took his time.

When he declared her good to go, they headed out, walking side by side through the jungle. Jayah still felt a bit of an anxiety at her earlier panic — she had not had a moment like that in a long time. But Poe seemed to not even be bothered with it. He walked by her side, telling her about how he used to go on “adventures” through the jungles of Yavin IV. Once, he got so turned around he was afraid he would never make it back, but his father Kes found him easily.

“He told me we would fib to mom, tell her we were protecting the perimeter so she wouldn’t worry that I had run off on my own. Again,” Poe said, pushing some leaves aside as they passed.

Jayah chuckled, “You were such a troublemaker. I bet Shara knew though…”

“Oh stars, Mom knew everything,” he said with a half laugh, half scoff. “I couldn’t even _think_ of something before she immediately called me out on it. Dad told me it was because I was like her — that she would have crazy ideas and just do them.”

Jayah smiled softly, “I bet that’s nice, knowing how much you are like her?” **  
**

He took a deep breath, “Yeah. It really is. Makes her feel close, you know?” he said shyly. “But I mean, I’m a lot like Dad too. Mom used to tell me how charming he was; I like to think I inherited some of that.”

She laughed again, “You’re so full of it,” she teased.

They were close to the spot she wanted to show him, so instead of allowing him to retort, she jumped in front of him and held out her hands to stop him in his path. Poe bumped against her palms and laughed, “What’s this?” he asked.

“It’s time for the surprise, but you have to promise me something before I show you,” Jayah said in her best stern voice.

He pursed his lips and she could tell he was fighting a smirk, “What is that exactly?”

She smiled slowly, “That you refrain from heaping me with praises over and over, because I’m about to become the best person in your world.”

The look in his eyes changed — from mirth to something else, something softer that she couldn’t put a finger on. “Well, now, I don’t know if I can make a promise like that,” he said.

A blush colored her cheeks and she wasn’t sure why, “I’m about to blow your mind, flyboy. So don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He chuckled as she turned and pushed through the brush, “We will see about that, Kryal.”

Jayah just smirked over her shoulder, pushing the last bit of leaves aside and taking a step over so Poe could see what laid beyond. He shifted his dark eyes over to her, arching his brow in curious skepticism before he stepped forward. She watched him with thinly veiled excitement as her surprise came into view.

“Wha — are you serious?!” he exclaimed as BB-8 followed him and whistled and beeped excitedly as well.

Jayah followed a few steps behind, grinning as she watched the two quickly walk up to the A-Wing sitting before them. She crossed her arms and chuckled as Poe put his hand on the hull off the ship and BB-8 let out a string of questions.

“Yeah, how do you have this?” Poe voiced the droid’s question as he turned to look back at her, his brown eyes wide and full of surprise.

She chuckled again, taking a few more steps closer, “Come on, Poe. How else do you think I got here?”

He laughed too and shook his head, “I can’t believe it. She’s an RZ-1, right?” he asked, slowly moving toward the cockpit.

“Yup. Training model, actually. I figured Leia would miss her less since she was older and a two-seater,” Jayah responded, walking up to his side.

Poe gave another shake of his head, “It reminds me of Mom’s,” he said softly.

She pursed her lips, “Well, then you’ll know how to fly her out of here.”

He looked over at her sharply and she was taken aback by his sudden harsh look. “You want me to take this?”

“Of course,” Jayah started slowly, confused by his turn of voice, “How else are you supposed to get off planet?”

Poe looked stricken and turned back to the ship before he looked over at her again. “If I take this ship, you have no other way of getting off this moon, Jayah,” he said, voice deep and serious.

She swallowed hard, the thought not really occurring to her until right at that moment. She shrugged, attempting to play it off, “I haven’t used it in three years, I don’t think that’s about to change any time soon.”

He shook his head, dropping his hand, “I can’t, Jayah. I can’t leave you here without a way off planet.”

“You can, and you will,” Jayah said sternly, causing him to look up at her with a frustrated look. “No, Poe, I’m not going to argue with you, okay? I don’t want to argue. You need off planet, this is going to get you there.”

Poe pursed his lips, still not looking happy at the prospect. She sighed, stepping up right beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder, “You need to get to Kaladria. I can’t go with you, but let me give you this, to get you there.”

He looked up at her, his dark eyes reflecting a look that was clearly torn. “It’s just …” he stopped and shook his head, “I know you’re right, but it doesn’t _feel_ right.”

Jayah smiled ruefully, her hand falling from his shoulder, “Sometimes the right thing doesn’t feel like it at all. But we have to do what we have to do.” **  
**

Poe swallowed hard and looked up at her again, this time with sadness, “Jayah, I …”

“No,” she interrupted him, shaking her head and forcing a smile. “Come on. We need to do system checks, see where she’s at and what we have to do to get her where you need. Okay?”

She couldn’t allow herself to get too sentimental. His mission was too important and she could feel deep down too much time had already passed. Jayah hated to admit it aloud, especially since Poe’s presence had been so warm, but she couldn’t keep him with her any longer than she had.

Poe sighed, pulling her from her thoughts, “No, no. You’re right. Hey BB, you think you can get up in the slot, see what’s going on?”

The droid beeped in affirmative and rolled around to find the entrance while Poe stepped up on the ladder to climb into the cockpit. He didn’t look at her and Jayah dropped her head. She had not expected such an intense feeling of sadness and almost regret. But there was nothing for it.

They had a lot of work to do.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Four long hours of poking, digging around, and the whirls of BB-8 had gotten them pretty far, Poe admitted. There was a few problems with the hyperdrive, the navigation wasn’t responding, and the A-Wing’s targeting system didn’t come online when BB-8 started the systems. But it could have been worse. Poe had definitely _seen_ worse.

All in all, it was an optimistic diagnose. He hopped to the ground from the ladder, stepping to the side and looking up as Jayah crawled out of the cockpit and down as well. They both had been running final system checks that they could get up and going to assess any other trouble spots. **  
**

“Could have been worse,” Jayah said, mirroring his thoughts as she jumped the last step to the ground.

“True. What do you think, three or four days?” he asked, rubbing the dirt off his hands and onto his fatigue pants.

He watched her look back at the ship and nod, “Yeah, there abouts. We need to do more diagnostics on the nav system for sure, once we get the power stabilized.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard. A-Wings are far less temperamental than X-Wings,” he added.

The sun was starting to set as BB-8 dropped to the ground as well and Jayah gave a big sigh, “Well, I guess there’s nothing more we can do today. You ready to head back?”

Poe nodded, grabbing her pack for her, earning him a good-natured eyeroll. He knew her shoulder was still hurting and though she didn’t say anything, doing all the work they had today did not do her any favors. Their walk back was quiet but comfortable, and gave him a moment to think about what had happened during the day.

Her panic that morning about him being gone troubled him more than he would let on to her. It wasn’t that he was appalled by anything she had told him the night before — which was why he was careful to not let her know of his concern about that morning; he didn’t want her to think he had lied and was startled by her admission.

No, what was troubling Poe was the fact she had clearly been afraid of being left alone again, then gave him her only way off the moon. He didn’t like it — he didn’t like that she felt so lonely, he didn’t like that she thought she had been burdening him, and he definitely didn’t like the thought of leaving her.

It turned in his stomach in an ugly way and made him feel slightly sick. How could Jayah expect him to leave her? How _could_ he leave her, after everything? Not just because of what she had done for him and for BB-8; he felt indebted to her, of course, but … 

Poe cared for Jayah. Deeply. And that affection was growing each hour they spent together. Each smile she gave him, each story she shared. And the night before, as she clung to him and cried, Poe couldn’t help but want to take away all her pain. He had his own demons, too and maybe … maybe they both could help each other. **  
**

But she wouldn’t leave; Jayah was adamant about it, even though he could have sworn she looked hesitant to say so.

“You okay?” her voice broke through his thoughts as they made it back into the hut.

“Huh?” he asked, looking up at her as she unhooked her blaster holster from her hip.

She looked concerned, “You seem a million miles away.”

Poe let out a heavy breath, running a hand through his hair, “Yeah, sorry. Just running through a lot in my head.”

Jayah continued to look at him and he knew straight away she didn’t completely buy it. Her worry deepened as her brow furrowed in confusion. Maybe even hurt? Just as quickly as he thought he saw it, however, it was gone. She shrugged and looked away, “Been a big day.”

“Yeah,” he said again lamely. “Look, Jayah, I…” he started, not even sure what he was going to say before the comm link on the table went off.

BB-8 chirped and whirled — the General probably checking in, wondering how they were going to get off the planet and when they could expect to find Kaladria. Poe sighed heavily, putting his hands on his hips as he looked down at his boots. The comm link continued to buzz.

“Poe?” Jayah asked softly.

He cleared his throat and reached for the comm, “This is Commander Dameron,” he spoke into it, turning his back to Jayah. He wasn’t sure why he did.

“Commander, I’d like a report, if you’d please,” Leia’s voice came through calmly, and yet with a tone as if she knew what was going on.

Poe looked over his shoulder at Jayah who looked stunned for a moment before she gave him a forced smile. “I’ll be right back,” he said, then moved outside.

“Yes, General. Commander Kryal and I spent today assessing an old RZ-1 A-Wing. It could use a little work, but I think it will get me off the moon in one piece and to Kaladria,” he said once he was outside.

There was silence from the other end and Poe wondered what he could have said that would have caused her to be so quiet for so long.

“So we’re back to Commander Kryal, then” Leia asked, completely throwing him for a loop.

He was so taken aback, he stuttered through his answer, “Um, no. I mean, well obviously I’m trying to be professional here.”

Leia scoffed, “Now I know you must have had a concussion. Did something happen I should know about, Poe?”

He sighed deeply, again running his hand through his hair, “I —”

He stopped in his pacing and saw that Jayah was peeking out the window at him. When their eyes caught, she immediately looked down and turned away, obviously attempting to look busy.

“She gave me her ship, Leia,” Poe said softly. “The only way she has off this rock, and she’s just giving it to me.”

“You have a mission to complete. She understands that,” the general answered gently. “And just so you know, she’s planned that from the start. Ever since I first talked to her after your crash.”

He let out a frustrated groan, “Why? Why would she do that? Especially when she doesn’t want to stay here.”

Leia gave a soft laugh, “I’m not following. If she’s told you she doesn’t wish to stay, then why doesn’t she go with you and then it’s not giving you the ship, you’re just tagging along for the ride.”

He pursed his lips, trying to form his answer. 

“She didn’t say she wanted to leave, did she?” Leia called him out.

Poe rolled his eyes, even though he knew she couldn’t see, “No, she didn’t.”

A deep sigh crackled through the comm, “Poe, you know you cannot make a woman do anything she doesn’t want to, correct?”

“Of course I know that,” he replied, almost offended at the accusation. But his ire quickly dissipated, “I just … it’s so obvious, Leia. She’s lonely here, and she’s hurting. Leaving her here — I can’t do it. I cannot do it. We’re taught not to leave anyone behind, and she may not think she’s a Resistance pilot anymore, but dammit she is. And I’m not going to leave her, mission be damned.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Poe’s heart dropped.

It finally happened, the one thing he had always worried about. That he would become attached to someone and put them before the Resistance, something he knew could and _should_ never happen.

“Poe, listen to me,” Leia started after a moment. “I know you care about her; I know you are having feelings for her, and I know they are strong. I don’t want you to give up on that.” **  
**

He blinked, startled once more by her — Leia just had that knack, he supposed. “What do you mean?”

“You are debating between love and duty. And from the sound of your voice, you’ve been battling with the realization for a day or two, I would guess,” the General responded. “What I’m telling you is there is no choice.”

Poe let out a breath, his shoulders feeling heavy as he pressed his forehead against his fingers folded around the comm link. Leia continued, despite his lack of response.

“Where you get this idea that it is one or the other, I don’t know. I certainly didn’t choose between them,” she said matter-of-factly. “And neither did your parents.”

His heart seized and, not for the first time, he wondered what his mother would say about the whole situation — about his failings, about his decisions, about Jayah. He missed her, missed her so damn much, his eyes watered in that moment.

“Poe, what is it that we’re all fighting for? Is there one thing you can pick specifically, because I know I sure can’t,” Leia’s voice was soft and full of reason. “You don’t have to choose and I do not want you to. Your mission is important, and I know you will complete it. But love is important too. What you’re feeling for her is important.”

He shook his head and swallowed hard, “The Resistance is _too_ important, Leia. I can’t…”

“You stubborn flyboys,” she interrupted with a chuckle. “Defiant until the end.” **  
**

Poe ran a hand over his face, “What would you have me do, then?” he asked, a bit more sharply than he had intended.

Leia sighed, “I would have you do what you feel is right by her and by you. And so if that requires changing your mission, then so be it. Seeing as neither one of you have a damn lick of sense between you.”

Poe’s brow furrowed in confusion, “I don’t understand.”

“You men rarely do,” she mumbled. “Commander Dameron, I’m amending your mission. You’re to find the Kaladrian base and then report back to me. With Commander Jayah Kryal in tow.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Jayah was far too wired to settle down. Even after the walking, the assessing of the A-Wing, and everything else, something had her feeling on edge. As Poe was outside still speaking with Leia, Jayah attempted to busy herself with washing up from dinner, making sure everything was okay with her blasters, checking the sharpness of her knife, and then finally shuffling around items on her pantry shelves. **  
**

When her fingers brushed over the bottle of Tevraki whiskey, she paused. On a whim, she curled her fingers around the bottle and pulled it off the shelf. A few shots would take away her edge, hopefully, and maybe help calm down whatever was going on in her head.

BB-8 rolled over, obviously remembering the last time she had opened the bottle, and gave her a concerned beep — was she feeling okay?

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just … feeling a little restless is all,” she responded.

“About what?” Poe’s voice sounded, causing Jayah’s eyes to dart up to him as he walked through the door.

“That was quick,” she noted, even though the conversation had lasted close to a half hour. She supposed she was trying to show him that she had not been anxiously awaiting him to come back.

Instead of giving him a chance to answer, she turned, holding up the bottle of whiskey. “How about we celebrate the good news that the A-Wing isn’t a total hunk of junk?”

He narrowed his brown eyes at her a bit, again seeing right through her, but all be damned if she was going to back down now. Finally, he cracked first, shaking his head and giving her an awkward chuckle, “Where in the stars did you get that?”

She shrugged, walking over and hopping up on her table, cracking open the bottle, “Pilfered a lot of things before I left the Resistance, Commander Dameron.” She took a shot and felt the burn at the back of her throat before she held out the bottle to him, “Thought I’d need it for a rainy day, but seems better to drink it with a friend in celebration, right?”

Poe stared at her for a moment, in a way that made her stomach flutter. She tried to brush it off, shaking the bottle enticingly at him to get him to take the bait. After a moment, he gave her a slow smile, accepting the bottle.

“I think you’re exactly right,” he said before tipping up the bottle and taking a long drawl.

He passed it back to her and for the first 10 minutes, neither said anything as a weird tension settled in the air. Jayah wasn’t sure how to feel about it, so she took another long pull from the bottle, passing it to Poe.

His eyes met hers and he opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, but thought better of it. Instead, he took the bottle and another drink. Jayah swallowed hard and ran a hand through her hair.

“You know what’s weird?” she found herself saying suddenly, grabbing the bottle back from him. She took a long, long drink and afterward made herself take a deep breath.

“What is?” Poe’s voice asked causing her to look up at him, eyebrows raised.

“What?” she echoed, causing him to laugh.

“You were about to tell me about something that is weird,” he said.

Jayah’s brow creased and she looked down at the bottle in her hand, “I was? Oh. I kind of forgot.” She took another drink, “I think I was going to say something about how it feels like you and BB-8 have been here forever, but I don’t mind.”

She ended the confession with another drink, because she could already feel the embarrassment flood her. Why had she said that?!

Poe laughed again, such a lovely sound that shot through her and settled in her chest, and reached forward for the bottle, “Okay, easy there. Think you need to slow down a bit, sweetheart.”

“Mmmm, nah. I feel pretty good actually,” her mouth ran off with her again. She found herself smiling lazily at him before she snatched the bottle back.

He shook his head, grabbed the bottle once more, causing her to laugh, and took a long drink himself. Jayah watched him with interest, tilting her head to the side. When he brought the bottle down, he pulled a face and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. A hot feeling pooled in her stomach.

“What?” he asked her, his voice rough and warm from the whiskey.

She wasn’t sure, so she didn’t say. Instead, she had another idea that felt absolutely brilliant. So she hopped off the table and reached forward, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the door. “Sit outside with me again? I wanna see the stars.”

He didn’t fight her. He went willingly and with a look on his face that warmed her more than the whiskey running through her. Whatever was going to happen, Jayah couldn’t help but feel it would be right.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Adorable was not exactly a word Poe had ever thought to describe Jayah in the short time he knew her. But drunk Jayah was by far an adorable Jayah. She was … bubbly. Her smiles came more freely and she rambled and giggled. _Giggled_. He didn’t think he had ever heard her giggle in the last week. He liked it, very much. 

She had forgotten the cover they had sat on the night before, so Poe went back in to get it. When he emerged from the hut once more, he found her leaning against the structure, sighing and with a dopey smile as she looked up at the sky. His heart thudded hard against his chest and he spread the blanket out, coaxing her to sit before he took up the spot next to her. **  
**

They were silent at first, only their soft breath and the sounds of the jungle around them playing a symphonic concert. Jayah let out a big, contented breath and began to point out some of the brighter stars above them, a bright, child-like smile on her face. Poe watched her, feeling his chest tighten.

Suddenly, she let out a wistful sigh, “I miss space,” she muttered, then leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

It was completely unexpected, but Poe decided very quickly it felt nice.

“Is this okay?” Jayah asked, her voice a loud whisper.

Poe licked his lips, “Yeah, it’s good.” Then, in a moment of bravery, he shifted and put his arm around her shoulders, coaxing her closer.

Jayah moved easily and looked back up at the stars with him.

She was silent for a bit and he took the moment to revel in the warmth from the alcohol in his limbs and her body against his. He thought his mind would be running a thousand miles a minute at the situation, especially after his conversation with Leia, but he felt a calm, a peace he hadn’t felt in a while. Jayah’s quietness after a bit caught his attention and he looked down at her to make sure she was all right, honestly expecting to find her asleep.

Instead, he was caught off guard by her big blue eyes looking up at him instead of the sky.

“Leia told me about you,” she said, again in a loud whisper as if she were telling him a secret. “When you were unconscious and I was checking in with her.”

Poe swallowed hard, “Yeah? Bet she said I was a pain in the ass.”

Jayah snorted, “In a way, yes. But she said lots of good things. She thinks a lot of you.”

He shifted against her, unsure of where the conversation was going. “What else did she say?”

“That you’re charming; that’s why she sent you. And she said you’re a flirt,” she answered.

Now Poe snorted, ignoring the quip about being charming as he rolled his eyes, “I am not a flirt. I believe in kindness; sometimes people take it the wrong way.”

“But you are charming,” Jayah countered.

That caught his attention and he turned his head back down to her, “You think so, huh?” After she nodded in agreement, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching over to brush a few strands of hair out of her face. “You’re immune to my charms though, right?”

The only response he got was a “Mmmm,” as her blue eyes slowly moved over his face and stopped at his mouth. She looked as if she were trying to decide something and instead of coming to an answer, she shook her head and then hid her face in his shoulder.

Poe swallowed hard for what felt like the millionth time, “Maybe I should get you inside and to bed.”

Jayah shook her head adamantly, “No, please. Just a little bit longer.”

He couldn’t help it; he didn’t fight her on it because he wasn’t sure he could. Instead, he pulled her closer.

“I’m going to miss you, you know,” she whispered after a moment.

Poe’s chest tightened, as did his hold on her. He took a second before he replied. “You could come with us. You should come with us.”

He looked down at the top of her head as she shifted against him. Jayah moved and rested her forehead against his chest, obviously unable to look at him. “Not yet,” she breathed so quietly, he almost didn’t catch it. “But … you find Kaladria, you get the Resistance there and safe, then you come back for me and I’ll go with you.”

Before he could stop himself, Poe gently cupped Jayah’s chin in his palm, tilting her face up. Her eyes went wide and hopeful, causing his heart to beat faster, his blood rushing in his ears.

“I would. I would come back for you. I _will_ come back for you,” he said, his voice sounding far more level and confident than he felt.

The look on her face was one that made his heart beat even faster. She moved again and Poe stayed absolutely still, attempting to gauge where her intended mark was. Jayah came closer and his fingers pressed against her, encouraging her forward. Just before her lips met his, however, she turned, burying her face against his neck, tucking herself away again shyly. He closed his eyes, wrapping his arm around her more and took a long, shaky breath to steady himself. **  
**

They both were silent after that, listening to the night around them and each other’s breathing. Poe moved after a bit, pressing his lips to the top of her forehead unconsciously. She may have not been sure about kissing him, but Poe knew he wanted it. And he would wait until the right moment — not when she drunk off the Tevarki whiskey.

Quiet came over them again. Insects buzzed nearby and birds off in the distance made strange melodies in the night. He re-settled and closed his eyes, his hand starting to slowly rub up and down Jayah’s back of its own accord. It was the first time in years he’d honestly felt at peace — not worried about the war, not itching to get in an X-Wing and fly around recklessly. He felt still and he reveled in it, basking in the newness of it, of the feelings he had for Jayah.

Jayah startled Poe as she pulled away and sat up rather suddenly. Worried something was wrong, he cracked his eyes open and looked at her, not moving. She was staring at him intently, looking like she was at a fork in the road and trying to decide something about him, but was caught between the choices.

She swayed forward just a bit and Poe moved his hands to her arms to keep her up right. Her mouth turned into a pout and her brow furrowed; a small whine escaped her. Poe laughed softly, “Come on, sweetheart. Time for bed.”

Jayah groaned again, rolling away from him rather dramatically. He chuckled, shaking his head as he stood and reach down for her. He was able to coax her to her feet and grab the blanket before guiding her inside with a hand on her hip. Her steps stumbled a few times, earning a soft giggle from her, but she was able to catch herself. He followed her, a small smile tugging his lips as he watched her crawl into her bed. Well more like flopping into it.

Poe gently grabbed her ankles, slipping off her boots then helping her get situated in the bed before he pulled the cover over her and turned. But Jayah grabbed his hand, making him turn back to her.

“I know it would be weird, but,” she started, her big blue eyes pleading. “Could you stay with me again tonight? If it’s too much, I get it but…”

“Shh, shh,” Poe interrupted her gently, sitting on the edge of the bed. He toed off his boots and lifted the cover. “It’s not too much at all.”

They both shifted to get comfortable — Jayah moving to give him some room, and Poe looking to find a comfortable spot that had a respectable distance from her. As soon as he stopped moving, however, she surprised him by turning and curling up against him. His heart kicked oddly but once she settled her head against his chest, Poe found his arm naturally curled around her and it all felt … _right_.

Jayah had slipped into sleep a few minutes later and, with a hand tangled in her hair, Poe followed, a smile on his face.


	16. Chapter 15: A New Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is sexual tension, and a bit of angst ahead. You've been warned. <3

ayah woke feeling better than she had in months. Which was … surprising. As her eyes fluttered open, she came face to face with what she couldn’t quite yet admit was the reason.

Poe Dameron slept deeply, his breath a soft rasp from his parted lips and his dark curls rampant along his forehead. The scruff of a beard was darkening his jawline and made him look even more handsome than before, she thought.

Memories from the night before slowly trickled to the front of her brain and Jayah felt a moment of silly embarrassment. It had been a long time since she had gotten drunk, even if she was only _slightly_ that the night before (that was the story she would continue to tell herself). Still, the night had not been bad. She closed her eyes and remembered the way it felt to lean against him, the feeling of his lips pressing against her forehead, his fingers pushing against her.

Jayah breathed out a slow, shaky breath, her eyes opening again watching as the sunlight crept into the hut from over his shoulder. She had told him she would miss him — and she would. Far more than she had ever expected. **  
**

There was so much she wanted, she realized. And as the days had went on, Jayah knew she wanted to go with Poe, to stay with him. To be able to go back to the Resistance, to help make a difference again. But every time she would think it, the old fear would crawl back up her throat — if she got attached to him, she would lose him. Just like she lost all the others.

A sense of sadness washed over her; he would go away and be the hero she knew he was. And she would stay on that Felucian moon, her heart aching for what could have been between them if there had not been the war, or her past.

Of its own accord it seemed, Jayah’s hand lifted from its spot curled under her head. Her eyes followed the path her fingers took. They started with brushing through the curls at his forehead, which always fell right back into place. Her fingertips then trace over his temple, then back over and down along the line of his nose. Finally, the pads of her fingers ghosted over his parted lips and her heart skipped as she wet her own.

It would be easy, Jayah thought, to just lean forward and press her mouth against his. She had almost done it the night before, thought about it for a long time as she had curled up against him outside under the stars. But she couldn’t find her courage to do it — what if he rejected her? Worse, what if he _didn’t_ and then asked her again to go with him? She wasn’t strong enough yet for that…

But now, in the quiet and soft light of the morning, Jayah thought maybe, _just maybe_ she could take that kiss without any repercussions. Poe would never know.

Before she could stop herself, Jayah tilted her head up just a fraction to close the space between his mouth and hers. Her lips brushed across his lightly and it felt as if her heart stopped.

Poe pulled in a breath, shifting his body and Jayah immediately ducked her head back down, closing her eyes and pretending she was asleep while willing her heartbeat to stop racing.

He moved more, stretching and shifting still. She forced herself to keep her eyes shut and her breathing light so as not to give herself away. After a moment, it felt as if Poe turned his head to face hers again, his breath fanning over her face. One of his hands came to rest heavily on her arm, gently traveling up over her bandage on her shoulder and back down again to her elbow.

It seemed the perfect time to end her charade, so Jayah took a deep breath herself and let her eyes flutter open. Poe’s dark gaze was on her and when her eyes met his, he smiled slowly.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice rough with sleep. She felt it all the way through her.

“Hey,” she replied just as quietly, finding herself shifting restlessly — wanting to press even closer to him but not having the courage to do so.

“You feel okay?” he asked, his hand reaching up and brushing through the hair at her temple.

She felt it was an unconscious move on his part and tried to not let her surprise show on her face. “Yeah. I don’t feel hungover, if that’s what you’re asking,” she replied with a grin.

Poe chuckled, shifting his body similarly to how she had just done. “Well then, aren’t you lucky to be able to down Tevarki whiskey without the consequences.”

Jayah felt herself blush, “Depends on what consequences you’re talking about.”

At that he didn’t have an answer. She thought for a brief moment he might have taken what she said wrong, that she regretted having the moment with him the night before —which she didn’t, despite the moment of embarrassment.

But Poe smiled at her, slyly as if he were going to tease her but thought it better to just keep it to himself. Jayah rolled her eyes and pushed at his shoulder. “Do you care to get up? I’m getting hungry.”

“All right, all right,” he said good-naturedly.

They both took their time getting up and going, moving about the hut with easy as they got ready for the day and then sat down to breakfast. BB-8 powered up shortly after, cataloguing to the two what they could attempt to accomplish that day at the ship. While Jayah felt a bit of excitement at the prospect of working on the A-Wing — she always had enjoyed the mechanical work on ships when she could find the time with the Republic and the Resistance — part of her felt a tug of something she couldn’t explain.

It was like a sadness, a regret that made her want to crawl back into her bed and forget that she had a way for him to get off the planet. A way to leave her all alone.  

She pushed it aside, violently, to the back of her mind. It wasn’t important — she couldn’t let those foolish thoughts cloud her judgment now.

They headed out shortly after breakfast, the sun already blazing down on them and a gentle wind soothing the ache as they pushed through the jungle. Jayah and Poe were both quiet, while BB-8 seemed to be the most excited out of the bunch. Jayah chalked it up to the poor thing being bored out of its mind while being stuck on the planet.

When they came upon the ship, the harsh feeling of hurt hit Jayah hard in the chest again. She stopped, feeling the emotion spill onto her face as Poe continued ahead and got BB-8 started on some diagnostics. They moved and worked together seamlessly, she noted. How many times had they spent their days like this on a Resistance base, waiting for the next mission?

Because there would always be a next mission for men like Poe. Jayah used to place herself in the same vein as well … until she realized she couldn’t continue on. She couldn’t keep losing …

“I think this damn power cycle is going to have to be the first thing we tackle if we want to really get into the other problems,” Poe was saying, obviously to Jayah because when he received no answer, he turned to her.

His brow immediately furrowed in concern, “Jayah?”

She pulled in a breath and tried to wipe the fear she felt from her face, “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

Poe looked down at BB-8, who beeped something softly she couldn’t quite make out. He nodded his agreement and turned back to her, “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just spaced out.” She forced a smile on her face, “Come on, we need to get going.”

He didn’t believe her. It was very obvious. But as she walked past him, swallowing hard and willing herself to pull it together, he caved and followed. _Just a few more days,_ she thought. _You can’t keep him, so don’t cave now._

**☆ ☆ ☆ ☆**

As Poe climbed out of A-Wing later that afternoon, jumping the last two steps to the ground, and came around the back of the ship, his steps slowed at the sight before him.

Jayah was precariously standing on top of two old storage crates, pushed up on her tiptoes, and stretching to reach the connections at the back of the A-Wing. He couldn’t help but smirk as he watched her wiggle to try to get closer. Quickly, his humor was replaced with concern as the top box she was standing on wobbled.

“What are you doing?” Poe asked, taking a half a step closer to her.

Jayah chanced a look over her shoulder before going back to whatever it was she messed with. “What does it look like? I’m trying to reconnect the power distributor back here,” she replied, letting out a soft gasp as she almost lost her footing.

“Whoa,” he said, jumping forward. He came up right behind her, placing his hands on her hips to steady her without a second thought.

Once her footing was settled, she turned her head to look back at him again, a small smile curling her lips, “I got it.”

He gave her a look, “Yeah, you do now. But the moment you go up on your toes again…”

Jayah laughed, interrupting him as she did just that. He rolled his eyes, taking a step back from her, but staying close enough to be ready in case she teetered again.

“You know, I don’t have anything against A-Wings, but this hunk of _junk_ ,” she ground the last word out as she apparently tugged on a wire, the box under her feet wobbling, “is really kriffing playing my nerves.”

“You’re playing my nerves,” Poe mumbled, crossing his arms as he watched her. “Couldn’t you go at it the other way? Climb through the cockpit?”

She laughed again, “While you were up there, genius? Uh huh, sure. I’ll just straddle your lap and lean right over.”

He watched as she settled back on her feet and became absolutely still. He couldn’t help but bite his lower lip to keep from laughing out loud. _Now there’s a nice thought,_ his mind chimed in.

“Shut up, Dameron,” Jayah called back, almost as if she heard him, and went back to her work.

“I’m just saying, I’m watching these boxes you’re relying a lot on and I gotta tell you, sweetheart, they don’t instill a lot of confidence,” he countered.

“I’m almost done, stop your worrying,” she called back, going back up on her toes.

Then she gave another tug and the box went right out from under her feet. Poe’s heart jumped straight to his throat as he instantly shot forward. His arms circled around her waist as her body crashed back into his and the two of them stumbled a bit before he caught his footing enough to keep them from tumbling to the ground.

For a moment after, neither of them moved — Jayah was precariously balanced on one leg, the other kicked out in front of her and her hand full of some type of wiring, her other hand back and resting on his hip. Poe’s arm was tucked up under her breasts, his other hand resting on her waist. He felt her take a deep breath and then rest her head back against his chest.

“You okay?” he asked softly, bending his head toward her ear for what reason, he wasn’t sure.

He looked down at her and watched her tongue dart out to lick her lips. The action caused him to swallow hard. “Yeah, yeah I’m good,” she replied just as quietly.

Neither struggled to move quickly, which Poe took as a good sign. Then Jayah moved one arm over his around her and he got the hint; his hand moved to her hip to gently push her up on her feet. He watched her back, her shoulders, any sign of discomfort from her but she simply held up the wires, looking over them in the dying sunlight.

“Well, that should help,” she said, going back to the ship, putting the box back up on the first and climbing up once more.

“Jayah, just climb through the ship dammit,” he chastised, following her.

“Poe, I can do this,” she said, her tone frustrated as she turned on the box to look at him, hands on her hips. “If it would make you feel better, stand right there.”

He rolled his eyes, which caused her to smirk before she turned back to her previous task. A deep breath pushed through his lips as he stood and waited, watching her. Really, he was probably looking too much at her, enjoying the view she offered.

Finally, Jayah let out a cry of triumph and stood back, “Try the systems now, BB-8!” she called up to the astromech, who sat in its spot at the ready.

From _his_ spot on the ground, Poe could hear BB-8 beep excitedly a moment later, telling her the systems were responding and working just fine. She turned on the box, looking down at him smugly, “And that, Poe Dameron, is how you fix a busted up A-Wing,” she said proudly.

It was completely endearing and he felt himself smile brightly at her in response. “Well done. Seriously, you have more patience than I ever would with it. Now will you get off the boxes?” he asked.

She chuckled, “Okay, okay, fine.” He was surprised when she waved him closer to her.

Poe did not need to be told twice. He took two quick steps up to the boxes, reaching out his arms to her. Jayah placed her hands on his forearms, her hair falling in front of her face as she looked down and carefully stepped off the box down toward him. As she came closer, Poe moved his hands to her waist, letting her use him as a guide to get to the ground. When her feet hit the dirt, he felt immensely better.

Jayah’s hands squeezed his arms as she smiled up at him, “Thanks, flyboy.”

Looking down at her standing so close, Poe didn’t want to let go, so he didn’t. “Pretty impressive work, Kryal,” he smiled.

She gave a playful scoff, “Heavy compliment there.”

“Hey, I know how temperamental those things can be. I was being completely sincere.”

“I’m sure you were,” she replied, a sly look on her features.

Poe chuckled and darted his eyes down, catching that her hands were still on his arms, his hands still rested above her hips, and they still stood close. When he pulled his gaze back up to hers, Jayah seemed to realize the same thing he did. He watched with avid interest as she swallowed hard and wet her lips.

He wanted to kiss her; it was the most prevalent thought in his mind and was repeating again and again. It had been what he had been thinking about _for days._ Ever since he opened his eyes to see her relieved face, to feel her hand on his cheek, her voice saying his name. And after the night before, he felt like the right moment was now.

It was so cliche to think it, but Poe _felt_ something was different between them now. 

Jayah’s lips parted slightly and he took the chance. Leaning in, he closed the small distance between them and pressed his lips to hers. She froze for a moment and he immediately berated himself, preparing to pull back and apologize profusely. But then her fingers curled around his arms and she pressed back against him.

Poe felt something release in his chest as his arms slipped around her waist and hauled her even closer. Jayah parted her lips under his, a soft sound escaping her — he took it greedily as his hand moved up her spine and dived into her hair falling out of its tie. She moved her hands up his arms and around his neck, clutching at him in a way that told him he wasn’t the only one feeling something between them.

She tasted amazing, like something he always craved but could never put a finger on. And Jayah kissed just as he knew her — slightly reserved at first, but then with almost blind confidence. Poe met her at each insistence, his hand still resting on her waist bunching the fabric there, clutching at her as if she were a lifeline.

One of her hands moved to the back of his head, fingers curling around his hair and he felt more than heard the groan that left him. She pressed into him harder at the sound.

Poe’s mind barely picked up on the beeps of BB-8 as the droid dropped from the astromech slot, asking rather loudly where the two of them went. He was content, for the first time he could remember, to ignore his little droid, but Jayah apparently was not.

As the little droid rolled around to the back of the ship, she gasped and stepped away from him. The action was so sudden, so swift, the air that hit him stunned Poe. He looked at her, eyes wide and blinking. She immediately put a hand over her mouth, looking at him with those big, beautiful blue eyes.

BB-8 came up to them, his small head rotating between them at least twice before settling on Poe — was everything okay? Did something happen?

“No, we’re okay, buddy,” Poe answered, his voice a little rough. “Systems okay?”

BB-8 looked back to Jayah as if wanting her to confirm his words, but she only turned her back to them. He could see her shoulders drawing in, the tension he had witness leaving her over the last few days starting to return. The droid looked up at Poe, softly beeping his concern. Did something happen with the ship? Did the nav tests not work?

“Systems tests did great, BB,” Jayah replied suddenly, her voice catching a bit. Poe felt his his heart fall to the pit of his stomach. “What did the nav systems return?”

That question was directed at him — he didn’t miss how she barely turned or how she didn’t say his name. “Uh, they are a bit fried. And what isn’t corrupted hasn’t been updated in a while. I was thinking we could grab the chip from my X-Wing and see if she doesn’t accept it.”

BB-8 whistled and booped — should they head over to the X-Wing now and grab it?

“No, it’s getting too dark,” Jayah responded kindly to the droid. “We should probably get back to the hut before the sun sets completely.”

She moved to grab the tools and stuffed them in the boxes she had been standing on only a few moments before. Poe let out a heavy breath, feeling himself growing heavy with disappointment in himself. _There’s nothing for it, don’t dwell,_ he told himself. But he couldn’t help it. For a brief moment, he had thought she’d felt the same pull to him that he felt so strongly for her.

Shaking his head, he made his way over to her, silently helping her pack up their equipment. Taking turns, they climbed up into the A-Wing to store the items there before closing up the cockpit. With a brief look over her shoulder at him and BB-8, Jayah hooked on her blaster holster and headed back down the path toward her hut. **  
**

BB-8 rolled after her for a few feet and then stopped, wheeling around to Poe — did we do something to upset her, it asked.

Poe shook his head, “Not you buddy; just me.”

The small droid gave an indignant bwop — why would Poe do that, didn’t Poe like Jayah?

He swallowed hard; yes, he liked Jayah. A lot. “Don’t worry, BB. Let’s just get back. I’ll fix it, I promise.”

He better, BB-8 chirped along as he turned and disappeared into the brush following Jayah’s footsteps. Poe sighed heavily; he hoped he could too.


	17. Chapter 16: No Turning Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m happy to announce that this chapter contains sexual themes, it’s for 18+. Yaaaaaaaay!!!!!!! :D

Jayah’s heart rammed in her chest the whole walk back to her hut. She relied heavily on hearing BB-8 and Poe moving behind her to reassure herself they were keeping up. Looking behind her was not an option — she couldn’t take the risk of catching Poe’s eyes.

_He kissed me,_ her mind repeated over again and again. And by stars it was not a horrible kiss either. It had felt so right, it almost scared her. The pull she felt toward him over the last week or more had been nearly overwhelming. Her heart pulsed each time he smiled at her, every mention of her name from his lips … She started to notice her body inclined toward him naturally, wanting to be in his presence, searching for even the smallest touch to sate the burning need she felt.

Jayah had no clue why — after all these days of getting to know him, of opening up to him and _finally_ feeling at peace with herself, of feeling drawn to him — she pulled away from him. She felt such a freedom, such an intense release when he pressed his mouth to hers. It had been as if she finally had been given the answer to a question she’d desperately been asking for years.

Poe gave it to her, freely, and so sweetly she could have cried. And she pulled away like a coward. And the way he had looked after … he _had_ to have regretted it. Had to. Which hurt even more than the fact she allowed herself to pull away from him. 

And why had she done it? _You’re afraid_ , a voice in her head berated her. _You’re too afraid and you don’t deserve someone like Poe Dameron._

Jayah swallowed hard, pushing back the tears she felt gathering in her eyes. She was so foolish. Poe Dameron, the best pilot in the Resistance, who could take on the entire First Order and beat them … who was good, and light, and pure … braver than she could ever be …

No, there was no way it could end well because someone like her didn’t deserve someone like Poe Dameron.

Jayah all but ran the last few yards into her hut. She had to get a hold of herself. Two more days and the A-Wing would be good to go and he would be gone. Getting more attached to him than she already was would only make things worse. Kissing her meant he _thought_ he was feeling something for her. She couldn’t let him continue that. Deep down Jayah knew it was all just circumstance. If they were somewhere else, met under different chances, Poe would not even give her a passing glance. 

“Jayah,” his voice sounded as he and BB-8 entered the hut. His voice sounded so disappointed causing her to swallow hard.

“I don’t know about you, but all that work left me starving,” she said instead, setting to work immediately. If she kept busy, she could push everything else down.

BB-8 beeped worriedly, more so to Poe than to her. Even the little droid picked up there was something wrong with her. She was becoming panicky, her hands shaking. If she wanted to convince them both she was fine, she needed to calm down.

So Jayah stopped, pulled in a deep breath, and forced her heart beat to calm. Then she slowly turned, giving Poe the best smile she could muster. “Do you care to grab some bowls, please? This will be warm in no time,” she said, her voice level, thank the stars.

He stared at her for a good 20 seconds at least, his lips parted slightly, his eyes assessing her as they always did. He saw through her — she knew as soon as she caught his gaze that there was no more facades she had left. Poe Dameron broke through them all.

But what made Jayah’s heart ache with longing the most was how he didn’t push, he simply looked at her as if he understood and gave her a rueful smile, “Of course.”

Deep down, Jayah knew that wasn’t the end of it. He had not pushed her right then, but that did not mean Poe was going to let what happened go undiscussed.

They ate in companionable silence, all the while Jayah’s heart felt heavier and heavier. She watched him secretly as he kept his eyes turned down, a pensive look on his features as his spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl. It was almost as if she could see the thoughts running through his mind. How he more than likely realized what he felt for her was just fleeting. That he had a mission and falling for her was not possible. How he regretted letting himself get caught in a moment…

Jayah pushed a heavy breath through her lips once she finished and stood from her spot at the table, making herself calmly walk over to place her bowl near the hearth. She had to appear as if she were okay; she couldn’t allow him to think anything else.

BB-8 whirled and beeped; why were the two of them being so quiet? What happened, why wouldn’t they talk? Didn’t they want to talk? The little droid sounded so exasperated and Jayah wished she could put it at ease, but she had no clue what to even say.

“It’s okay, buddy. Don’t worry about it,” Poe answered softly, something in the tone of his voice causing Jayah to drop her head and stare at the fire. “Why don’t you go ahead and power down for the night?” he suggested.

BB-8 let out an indignant bwoop; and let the two of them ignore each other? It was not going to have it.

“You’ll charge faster if you’re powered down, BB. Plus, this is a conversation Jayah and I need to have in private. Do you understand?” Poe asked gently, no aggravation at all.

BB-8 let out a relenting beep, rolling over to the spot where its charging station had been set up. Jayah turned her head briefly to watch Poe lower himself to one knee, plugging in the droid and get him set up. BB-8 whistled and beeped, turning its optical eye to Jayah — whatever Poe did, it said, make sure he apologized.

Jayah let out a watery chuckle, “He doesn’t have anything to apologize for, BB.”

The droid gave another indignant noise; well whatever happened, Poe needed to make it right.

To this, Poe chuckled, “Get some rest, buddy. We’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night, BB-8,” Jayah added as the droid beeped in return and then powered down.

With the new silence, Poe looked up and caught her gaze. She pursed her lips and turned away, feeling her heart ramming in her chest. _This is it_ , she thought with a heavy sorrow.

“Jayah, about what happened at the A-Wing…” he started softly, standing and taking a step toward her.

She shook her head quickly, turning from the fire and putting more distance between them. It would be easier this way. “Don’t, please,” she said, her back to him as she pressed her palms onto the table before her. “You don’t have to say it, it’s — it’s okay.”

His feet shuffled closer behind her, “What do you think I’m going to say?”

Jayah made herself swallow down the emotion blocking her throat, “That you regret it,” she said. “And I can’t blame you, but please … just please don’t say it out loud.”

Poe let out a heavy breath, full of the affirmation that she had been right, and she squeezed her eyes shut. She refused to cry.

“You really think I regret kissing you?” he asked, his voice tinged with obvious frustration.

Jayah pursed her lips and glanced over her shoulder briefly, “I understand, Poe. Really I do. You don’t — I don’t need you to explain it or try to put me at ease. I’ll be okay.”

He let out a huff of air, complete resignation. _Good_ , Jayah thought. _If he believes me, then we can at least spend the last two days together without awkwardness._

As she forced herself to pull back her emotions, she heard Poe slowly walk up behind her. Her skin prickled as it always did when he came close, hyper aware of his proximity to her. Then, softly, she felt his fingers trace up the back of her left arm.

Jayah felt as if her heart came to a full stop. _What was he doing? Surely he couldn’t be …_

But Poe’s fingers continued, up and across her shoulder, brushing through her hair at the nape of her neck. She held her breath, her eyes closing at the contact, so bittersweet her chest tightened. His fingers traveled along her right shoulder, then down the back of that arm as well. Jayah’s heart kick started again as his fingers curled around her hand and gently coaxed her into turning to face him.

When they came face to face, she felt every nerve alight, her eyes wide as she looked up at him, waiting. Poe looked resolute, so determined as his dark eyes moved down her face, resting on her lips. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” he said softly.

Jayah felt like she couldn’t pull in enough air. Her lips parted to say … say what? She had no idea. That the way he looked at her made her feel a hope she had not allowed herself in a long time? That for the first time in three years she felt alive again?

In the end, it didn’t matter. Poe slipped a hand into her hair and tilted her head back, leaning down to once again press his lips against hers. Jayah’s eyes fluttered shut at the sweet contact. It was just a simple kiss, their mouths meeting tenderly for only a few seconds before he pulled away slowly, his thumb trailing down along the line of her jaw.

Everything settled in Jayah’s mind. The anxiousness, the nervousness, the fear of losing him all whittled down to a pinpoint. She opened her eyes and met Poe’s gaze, looking at her so openly, bare, _lovingly…_

Jayah pressed up into him, her arms going around his neck as she fitted her mouth over his hungrily. He in turn wrapped his arms around her as they stumbled backward a few steps, crushing her closer in what she somehow knew was complete relief and pure exaltation.

In his arms, his mouth moving against hers, she knew this was right; what they both clearly felt was not fleeting in the slightest. That freedom that she could simply _be_ and that he accepted her gave Jayah such a confidence, a sureness in herself. It was as intoxicating as his mouth.  

Poe pushed against her, the two of them stumbling back the opposite way now. Jayah grasped at the fabric of his shirt over his shoulders with one hand while the other found its way unerringly into his dark hair, fingers combing through and tightening for an anchor. The groan that left Poe at the action caused Jayah’s heart to thump louder, her need growing and pooling in the pit of her stomach and lower.

They stumbled back more, Jayah tugging him into her and Poe guiding their bodies as steadily as he could. His large palm covered the back of her head before it connected with the wall they finally reached, his other hand pressing her waist back into it. The room was almost stifling now, the air hot and causing her tunic to stick to her. She couldn’t get enough air, but she couldn’t stop kissing Poe, his slightly chapped lips finally parting hers and seeking a deeper kiss.

Jayah readily gave into him, just as she imagined she always would from that moment on. Her hips pressed against him, desperately seeking contact with him. Poe groaned deeply again, a sound so raw Jayah shivered, and moved both his hands to her waist, pressing her body against the wall again before he took hold of the hem of her tunic.

He pulled back and a whimpering sound left Jayah at the absence of his mouth. Their chests were heaving in air, bumping into one another. She looked into his eyes as he wet his lips, clearly attempting to focus.

“Jayah…” His voice was smooth and warm like the Tevraki whiskey they shared under the stars the night before.

“Yes,” she replied hastily, already knowing the question. She nodded and used her hand in his hair to pull his mouth back to hers, “Yes.”

Poe met her half way, drawing another needy kiss from her before he pulled back again and tugged the tunic up and over her head. Her skin prickled as he stepped up against her, his body covering hers and crowding her back into the wall as his hands framed her face. He kissed her again, coaxing her mouth open and slipping his tongue between her lips. A moan escaped her, filled with frustration at not being close enough, of wanting more.

Her hands tugged at his shirt now, clawing at it and dragging it over his head. A deep chuckle left Poe and Jayah smiled at him once she tossed it on top of hers. His gaze softened as he looked at her, his hands cupping her face once more. She closed her eyes and relished in the touch.

“You’re so beautiful,” Poe whispered, his fingers sliding into her hair.

She felt heat flood her cheeks as she opened her eyes, “You keep staring and you’re going to make me nervous.”

“Trust me, sweetheart, you have nothing to be nervous about,” he said, his voice low.

Jayah shuddered, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as his hands moved back to her hips, pulling her off the wall and turning her body toward the bed. Poe groaned, leaning down to sweetly kiss her bottom lip once she freed it. “And that, that right there,” he said against her mouth. “That drives me kriffing crazy every time you do it.”

She let out an airy laugh as her arms slipped around his neck again, taking the time to drag her fingers across his tanned skin. When the back of her knees knocked against the bed frame, Poe nuzzled his face against her neck, teeth nipping her skin gently and causing her to gasp. One of her hands was in his hair again and she pressed her thighs together tightly, looking for friction as his mouth worked the skin where her shoulder met her neck.

“Poe,” she breathed, her body pressing against his.

“I got you,” he answered, his hands trailing down the curves of her sides to the top of her leggings sitting on her hips.

Jayah found herself holding her breath, waiting, but he only guided her to sit and lay back. She expected him to follow, draping his body over hers. But he pulled back, kissing her lips, down her neck, over her breast binding, and her stomach before his fingers curled under the top of her leggings and pulled them off her.

Anxiety bubbled in her stomach and she sat up, her hands gripping the blanket underneath her.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Poe leaned down, capturing her lips in a slow, drawn out kiss. By the time he pulled back, she realized he had undone her breast binding and tossed that away as well. Fully naked, Jayah felt a shiver of shyness.

“Hey,” he said softly, causing her to look up at him.

He smiled, that cheeky grin she loved so much, and she melted. His mouth covered hers again as he moved his body over hers, guiding her back down to the bed. Jayah gave a soft gasp as he moved his lips from her mouth, along her jaw and down her neck; at the same time he moved a palm down her side again, fingers curling around her thigh and squeezing before moving to her calf, gently raising it to rest her leg over his waist.

She whimpered at the feeling of his hips resting in the cradle of her thighs, pressing his growing hardness against her center. At the sound, he raised his head again, mouth hovering over hers, “Shhh, I got you,” he said again.

“Poe,” Jayah whined softly, her hands clamoring for purchase of his shoulders to will his body closer to hers.

“I know,” he whispered, greedily stealing another kiss from her.

Her body surged up against his, a hand grabbing at the back of his head. Poe slipped one arm around her back, holding her against him as his other hand skimmed down her thigh and in between her legs. When his fingers touched her, Jayah mewled against his lips. Her heart pounded in her ears and she huffed out a breath, willing him to drag his hand up higher just where she needed him to touch.

Her body moved restlessly, “Please…”

She felt his smile as he kissed her hard again, fingers parting her and circling around the spot aching the most. Jayah gasped, arms closing around his shoulders and holding him close. Poe’s mouth moved back to her neck, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses on her feverish skin. He circled her clit once, twice and she huffed in frustration, a needy sound she did not recognize leaving her.

Poe’s free hand grab a hold of her waist, pushing her body down gently — she hadn’t even realized she was squirming underneath him. Her focus was split between his mouth on her collarbone and his hand between her legs. Teeth gently scraped her skin as he ground his palm against her clit finally.

Jayah’s back arched again as she released a long, loud moan into the air. He pressed another smile against her body, dragging his fingers up and playing her in earnest now. Her breath became so ragged so quickly, it shocked her. She was not unexperienced when it came to sex, but this felt so much more intense with Poe — she had been halfway there before he even pulled her clothes off.

She shifted, her hips attempting to move up out of his grip to press against his hand harder. She needed more, much more, but he was determined to see her to her first orgasm in his own way. Poe rubbed and circled his fingers over her in a rhythm that had her completely incoherent. Jayah couldn’t focus, her body jostling, searching for the blissful release. One hand untangled from the cover beneath her, reaching out for something else to grasp onto.

He grabbed it and brought it to his mouth, kissing her palm, dark eyes watching her. Then slowly, he moved the hand above her head, pressing his palm against her and intertwining their fingers. It was a simple action that had her heart skipping. She gripped onto his hand as her eyes fluttered closed and everything in her tightened, her thighs clenching together. He leaned back down, kissing right at her pulse point in her neck and she fell, warm pleasure flooding her body.

Everything in her felt loosened, fluid. She sucked in air, trying to find reality again — surely she was dreaming all of this?

Poe hummed against her neck as he nipped, sucked, and licked at the skin there. “You with me, sweetheart?”

“Mmmm,” was the only sound Jayah could make in response, her lips curling into a satisfied smile as he puffed out a laugh against the column of her neck.

She moved her head finally, finding him looking at her almost reverently. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and he groaned, dipping down and kissing her tenderly. Though her limbs still felt heavy from her release, she moved and shifted underneath him. Her fingers found their home in his hair again, keeping him close as she parted her mouth under his and her other hand brushed and skipped down his bare chest.

Poe sucked in a sharp breath as her hand came into contact with his cock straining against his fatigue pants. Jayah sucked on his bottom lip, still feeling drunk off the euphoria of her first orgasm. Her palm ran down and then back up his length and she relished in the groan it drew out of him.

She was surprised when his hand encircled her wrist and brought that arm up to join the other he still held above her head.

“Not fair,” she said against his mouth. 

Poe chuckled, his warm breath fanning across her face, “You’re not playing fair. That’s a good way for things to end too quickly.”

“Hmmph,” Jayah said, her tongue darting out to run across his jawline. “Aren’t you supposed to be well-disciplined, Commander Dameron?”

She watched, not hiding the delight from her face, as he clenched his jaw and looked down at her seriously. She could only giggle in response.

“I’m about to show you discipline,” he threatened, leaning down and nipping her shoulder.

Jayah sucked in a heady breath at the feeling, “Please let me touch you, Poe,” she begged.

“Stars, you’re such trouble,” Poe breathed as he let go of one hand only to move his down between her legs. “Give me one more and I’ll let you have whatever you want.”

She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, moaning as his fingers once again stroked her. He already had her dripping and she shuddered as his soft touch ramped her up again. “Yes, please yes,” she breathed out, not sure even if what she said made sense.

Now he knew how to play her, Poe was doing so with a fervor that had her teetering toward the edge of her second orgasm way quicker than she thought possible for herself. Jayah panted out his name as he kissed down her neck and further on over the top of her left breast as his fingers slipped over and circled her clit.

She came so quickly, she didn’t even make a sound — it blindsided her and her body surged into his, her mouth falling open, and everything seeming to melt inside her all over again.

Poe slowly kissed back up her chest, his hand slowing its movements between her thighs before trekking back up. He squeezed her other breast cheekily as he lazily kissed her. It was a distraction, as she came back down from her high. Jayah nipped his bottom lip playfully as her hands delved into his hair and tugged.

He chuckled, “What, you aren’t happy with that performance?”

“You promised me something, flyboy,” she whispered, leaning up to press a kiss to his chin then down to his adam’s apple.

He swallowed hard, his hand over her breast squeezing, “Only if you’re sure, sweetheart.”

She tugged his hair again, causing their gazes to meet, “I’m sure,” she said softly, her voice low and serious.

His eyes seemed to search her for a moment before he dived in, kissing her fiercely again. She moaned softly, but wasn’t about to be distracted by him once more. Her hands left his hair, traveling down his shoulders and tracing a path once again along his chest and abdomen. When she reached the top of his pants, she nipped his bottom lip with her teeth again as her fingers made quick work of the button and zipper.

As Jayah guided his fatigues down over his hips, Poe dropped his head into the crook of her neck, his breath hitching as her fingers brushed over his length. She had to admit the reactions she was drawing from him were intoxicating. A smile curled her lips as she moved her mouth to his ear, gently scraping her teeth over the lobe drawing a low moan from his throat.

“I got you,” she whispered in his ear, her hands moving back over his ass, pushing his pants off further.

Mirroring his words caused him to huff a laugh as he moved his mouth back to hers, “You have all of me,” he told her, kissing her before moving back to pull his pants off the rest of the way.

They had an awkward moment as he moved, which caused them both to giggle and laugh, but finally he chucked the pants away and put a knee back on the bed between her legs, moving back toward her. Jayah couldn’t help but stare at him, eyes traveling his whole body now naked before her. She bit her lower lip and felt her breath catch — he was just so … well, beautiful.

“You keep staring and you’re going to make me nervous,” Poe’s voice said lowly, no hint of nervousness.  

She smirked at him, leaning up to reach forward and trip her fingers down his hard length. “Trust me, sweetheart, you have nothing to be nervous about,” she echoed back to him, her hand circling him and stroking slowly.

The noise that left him was something between a growl, a moan, and a laugh; she decided it sounded absolutely delicious, causing her to shiver all over.

“Trouble,” Poe muttered under his breath, smirking at her as well as his fingers curled around one of her calves and tugged her body down the bed closer to him.

Jayah couldn’t stop the giggle that left her as he climbed back over her and her legs fell open to welcome him. Poe hovered over her and she moved her legs to wrap around his waist, encouraging him closer, to press against her. He gave in to her easily, situating a forearm by her head and leaning onto it as his hand brushed through her hair. Jayah’s heart felt full, ready to burst as he kissed her again.

His other hand slipped between their bodies, guiding himself into her slowly. Too slowly for her; she shifted her hips up and he slid inside her fully, causing her to gasp in pleasure. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as he went completely still above her.

“Jayah,” Poe whispered, his voice catching.

She tilted her head up, kissing his lips gently, “I’m okay,” she said back, moving her hips and encouraging him to move as well. “You feel so good.”

He smiled against her mouth, “No, love, _you_ feel good. You feel amazing.” 

His body shifted, pulling his hips back slowly and then pushing back forward just as slow. The movement caused Jayah to moan breathlessly; this was so much better. This was perfect. Jayah closed her eyes, lips parting as her breaths became shorter, and angled her hips up to meet his languid thrusts.

Poe’s fingers dived into her hair, “Kriffing hell,” he breathed, echoing her thoughts exactly. “Open your eyes, Jayah. Look at me, darlin’.”

She did as he asked, eyes fluttering open to meet his dark, chocolate colored eyes staring down at her. When he looked at her like that, she felt like she could do anything. He thrust against her and she gasped, following the sound with a needy whine. She untangled her legs from his hips, opening herself more as her hands went around his waist, traveling down. Her palms skimmed over the curve of his ass, squeezing to encourage him to go faster.

Poe groaned deep in the back of his throat, immediately jerking forward rapidly. His fingers in her hair curled and tightened, tilting her head as he dipped down. Jayah chanted his name breathlessly, a pleading prayer as his mouth sucked and nipped her neck so hard she knew it would bruise. His hips snapped against her over and over, his control on his pace slipping into a more erratic and rough rhythm.

It felt amazing; Jayah told him so, her fingers grasping at his skin as they both worked toward release. She was so close, so could feel it tingling right at the pit of her stomach. Poe lifted his head and pressed his forehead into hers, soft words encouraging her to come first; she gave into him, back arching, a long moan filling the air as her orgasm spread like lightning through her. Her body clenched around him in every way she could; he ground out her name, hips stuttering as he followed her over the edge.

Poe’s body crumpled on top of her and Jayah felt a breath of relief leave her; like the world was once again centered right. He curled his arms around her, rolling to his side and taking her with him. She wrapped her arms around him as well, fingers in his hair as his face rested against her neck.

There were no words between them, but it did not feel as if there needed to be. Jayah felt so sated, something she had not felt in a long time. Her fingers carded through his hair and Poe gave a deep humming sound that seeped into her.

“I hope you know you aren’t moving the rest of the night,” he said against her skin.

She laughed softly, “I wouldn’t dream of it, flyboy.”


	18. Chapter 17: Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut … smut for daaaaays. And angst, because seriously, who would I be if I didn’t have them have some dark thoughts, right? Seriously … this chapter almost broke my heart. It’s another long one as well — 7,200 :S

It was warm; almost too warm. Jayah groaned and pushed at the cover over her shoulders and back, feeling her bare skin prickle at the air that hit her. The sun hitting her face also was not helping, so she huffed out a breath and turned her head. **  
**

A soft, warm chuckle sounded behind her and Jayah slowly opened one eye, finding herself staring at her wall, clearly in bed alone. Taking a moment to stretch — her limbs felt sore, but that good kind of sore — she tucked the cover under her arms and rolled back over.

Poe was sprawled in the chair at the table, his fatigue pants on but not fastened, his chest bare as he lazily ate from the bowl in his hand. When she turned over to face him, he gave her a slow smile, his dark eyes traveling down her frame clearly thinking about the night before.

Or possibly earlier that morning, when Jayah had draped herself over his warm frame and kissed him lazily, enticing him into more.

Whatever the case, she felt her cheeks heat from similar thoughts as she tucked her hands under her head and her legs stretched and moved until the cover had slipped up her thighs.

“Morning,” Poe said softly, smiling brightly — like a kid caught snatching candy.

“Morning,” she replied, her voice feeling a little rough from sleep. “How long have you been up?”

He took another bite, “Long enough to get a little show. You apparently don’t like covers in the morning.”

Jayah rolled her eyes, blushing again as Poe gave her a wicked grin and a little laugh. Now that he wasn’t playing nice, she decided a little teasing was in order. Drawing in a deep breath, she curled her legs up and twisted her upper body, stretching her arms above her head. The cover over her slipped down just a few inches with her movements, exposing the top curves of her breasts.

She watched as Poe  _tried_  not to watch and then shift restlessly in his chair. A soft laugh left her now as she shifted again, this time completely on her side, propping her head up in her hand. “Were you so hungry you had to leave me in bed all by myself?” she asked. 

He shook his head, his lower lip finding its way between his teeth before he pulled his gaze down. “No, I was trying to avoid this,” he said softly. **  
**

Suddenly all the teasing left Jayah in a rush and she felt her heart seize as her body instinctively curled in on itself. “Avoid what?” she asked, afraid to hear the answer.

Poe huffed out a breath and stood, crossing the space between them quickly. Before she realized what was happening, he had a knee on the bed and practically tackled her. She let out a small cry of surprise as he rolled her over on her back, hands framing her face as he kissed her soundly.

Jayah melted against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down flush to her body. Poe moaned into her, his fingers slipping into her hair — he lifted up as his other hand reached down and tugged the cover away from between them.

“You,” he started, pulling back from her mouth to kiss her chin. “Are,” his lips pressed against her jaw. “So much,” her neck. “Trouble,” he finished, his teeth nipping her shoulder.

Jayah let out a huff of a laugh as she squirmed against him, relief flooding her from head to toe. “I’m trouble? I wasn’t the one sitting at my table, half dressed, looking like he was planning something wicked to do to me next,” she breathed in his ear, arms tightening around him.

Poe lifted his head, eyes dark and deep; Jayah’s breath caught as he leaned down, lips skimming along her jaw toward her ear. “Mmmm, maybe I was remembering what I did to you,” he whispered, voice dark and smooth. “And  _now_  I’m thinking of what I’m going to do next.”

She smiled and laughed, her body arching up into his at the action. The grin on his face was felt more than seen as he pressed a tender kiss just behind her ear before he pulled back to look down at her, “How did you sleep?” he asked, all teasing aside as he carded his fingers through her hair. **  
**

Jayah hummed happily, his hand in her hair a lovely sensation, “Very well, thank you. You?”

“Best sleep I’ve gotten in a while,” Poe replied, completely serious and happy to make the statement judging by the look on his face. It made Jayah’s heart feel light.

She wet her lips, her hands trailing down his neck and tracing the line of his spine, “Why were you avoiding this?” she asked, not feeling anxious about his answer anymore, but generally curious.

“Because I know we have things to do today,” he started, kissing her nose and causing her to smile. “And I knew if I woke up next to you I wouldn’t want to leave this bed.”

The words caused different emotions to light in her. She did her best to keep them from her face as she moved her hands up his back, “Hmmm, I like the sound of that though.”

Poe smiled and pecked her lips, “Yes, but I’m sure BB-8 would have a few choice words when he powers up.”

That caused her to laugh out right against his mouth, which he silenced with another kiss. After a moment he pulled back, his hand still raking slowly through her hair as they just laid together. The emotions were knocking on her fragile wall she had put up and Jayah unconsciously shifted against Poe in an attempt to get rid of them again.

He must have caught the distress that flickered across her face; his fingers came to a stop and his brow furrowed as his eyes searched hers, “What’s wrong?”

Jayah took a deep breath, wetting her lips, “I just … ‘things to do today’ means working on the ship, which means one day closer until…”

She couldn’t even finish the sentence and she didn’t want to. Her eyes turned down from his and her hands came to rest on his hips. She swallowed hard before Poe curled his fingers under her chin, cupping it and tilting her face back up to his.

“I made you a promise, Jayah,” he said, his voice low but firm. His hand moved along her cheek, “And I keep my promises.”

Her eyes watered and she pursed her lips — she knew he wasn’t lying. Knew it deep in her heart, as sure as she knew herself. Poe didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep.

Jayah reached up and grabbed his face, pulling him to her and kissing him passionately, pouring into him everything she couldn’t bring herself to say. Poe didn’t seemed surprised by her action, diving his fingers into her hair and matching her kiss, coaxing her mouth open under his.

A few minutes later they pulled away panting, Poe pressing his forehead against hers as they both tried to catch their breath. “Better?” he whispered.

She nodded, her fingers drawing down along his scruffy jaw. He smirked, pecking her lips quickly before rolling off her, “Good. Time for breakfast, we got to get moving.”

Jayah groaned, rolling over and face planting into her pillow, “Do I have to?” she mumbled into the fabric.

“Yes, you have to,” he chuckled. She followed the sound of his footsteps moving about, obviously gathering her up something to eat. But she didn’t move, wondering if she could coax him back to bed again.

Jayah jumped slightly when Poe suddenly pulled the cover down to her feet and smacked her bare ass. She shrieked, scrambling for the cover again.

“You better move it,” Poe laughed, stepping back out of the range of her smacking hands. “You’ll have a lot of explaining to do to BB-8 if he powers up and you don’t have a stitch of clothing on.”

“You kriffing bantha ass!” she said laughing, leaning toward him as he pulled away, attempting to smack his arm.

Ten minutes later she was up and out of bed, dressed, and eating her breakfast (and pouting) as BB-8 powered up. Poe was packing up their gear for the day, some protein rations for them to eat should they get hungry, and water as BB-8 rolled over and immediately demanded to know what happened the night before.

Poe halted in his packing, turning to look down at the droid then up at Jayah expectantly. Jayah, who also paused as she was eating, felt confusion grace her face. What did he expect her to say?

Well, BB-8 demanded, Wasn’t anyone going to say anything?

Poe seemed content to keep completely silent, which made Jayah roll her eyes. “Well, BB,” she started, standing and taking her now empty bowl over to the other table, “Everything worked out. It’s all fine.”

The droid stared at her for a full five seconds before it whirled its head to Poe — she was sure if it could glare at Poe, it would have right then and there. Poe just laughed. “She’s telling the truth, buddy. We talked it all out,” he responded, throwing a wink her way.

Jayah rolled her eyes and shook her head — he was absolutely ridiculous, teasing BB-8 like that.

The droid looked at Poe, then to Jayah, then back to Poe, then back to Jayah. Is he telling the truth? I’m not sure that everything is okay and I’m worried it is not, the little droid beeped in concern at her.

Jayah looked at Poe, conveying to him that she wished he would just put the droid at ease already. Causing BB-8 worry over nothing was mean and unnecessary.

Poe chuckled again, turning from his packing, “Okay, buddy, how about this for convincing you?” he asked before he took the short steps to Jayah, slipping his arms around her and dipping her a bit as he kissed her.

Jayah let out a gasp of surprise as he moved her, but quickly gave in, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back.

BB-8 whirled and let out a string of excited and loud beeps as he rolled over and spun around them. When the two parted, the droid continued on and on in excitement and Jayah smiled up at Poe.

“You are mean to tease him,” she said.

“Eh, it’s all in good fun. Don’t let him fool you; he gives as good as he gets.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Poe Dameron was in the best mood he could ever remember being in.

It was better than when he first passed the flight simulator, better than his time-trial in an X-Wing, better than graduating academy. He couldn’t stop the giddy feeling in his chest, couldn’t stop playing around with BB-8. He couldn’t stop smiling at Jayah, touching Jayah,  _kissing_  Jayah.

If Snap and Kare could see him, they would be giving him so much shit. He still wouldn’t have cared. Like either one of them had room to talk.

It was all so cliche — and while Poe would never discount the power of good sex … being with Jayah was  _great_. Like something inside him finally clicked, finally made sense.

And he wasn’t even embarrassed about it. **  
**

They made the trek to his wrecked X-Wing after settling BB-8 down; Poe had no idea his droid had been secretly attempting to get him and Jayah together. It was heartwarming — as the three of them had talked, BB-8 told Poe he knew Jayah would be good for him, because Poe smiled more around Jayah. Poe had known he was falling for her, he just had not realized it was so obvious.

At the X-Wing, they were able to wrangle the nav chip from the control deck. Jayah almost tumbled out of cockpit attempting it and Poe literally plucked her out of it so he could give it a go. She pouted a bit, until he kissed her and told her she was cute. Then she blushed.

The rest of the day was spent powering up the A-Wing and going down their checklist of repairs. Jayah fixing the power problems allowed them to tackle the hyperdrive. Then they were able to simulate a pre-flight run through without trouble. There were the tweaks to the weapons targeting system next, an adjustment to the deflector shield, and other little things that showed themselves as the pair worked through the afternoon.

Poe could tell Jayah was dragging her feet — taking twice as long to run a check or boot up a system. He didn’t call her out on it because in all honesty, he was catching himself doing the same. Working together, they were finishing the repairs quicker than either had anticipated.

That meant he was closer to leaving her than they had thought as well.

The sun was crawling toward the horizon, the air cooling off dramatically during its descent. Poe sighed as he stuck the nav chip into the ship’s computer port, feeling only slight excitement as the screen flickered to life and began its download of the charts.

Jayah’s face appeared to his left as she climbed up the ladder to the cockpit, “Did it take?” she asked.

There was dirt or grease smudged on her forehead and her rosy gold hair was falling out of the tie she had pulled it into. Poe found looking at her at that moment took his breath away.

“Yeah, she took. Downloading now. I’d say in about 10 minutes you could probably put in the coordinates to Kaladria,” he answered, poking a bit at the computer. “How’s the power flow?”

Jayah swiped her hand across her forehead, smudging the grit there. “Good. Holding. She’s an old gal, but she’s got some spunk left in her. She’ll get you both there just fine.”

Her words made his heart clench as he turned his eyes to her. The look she found made her sigh and lower her head. The two were silent as the computer continued to run through its download.

“Jayah,” Poe started slowly, deciding he had to play his hand. “I have to say again how uneasy I feel about this.”

She picked at a piece of paint peeling from the hull, “I told you, she’s sturdy. I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

He reached out, putting his hand over hers. When her blue eyes turned up and met his gaze, he wet his lips, “You know that’s not what I’m talking about,” he said softly. “I can’t just leave you here with no other way out, not knowing when I would be able to come back.”

A heavy sigh passed her lips, “Poe, I’ll be okay.”

Pursing his lips, he formed his next words very carefully, “I know you can take care of yourself, sweetheart. I know you’ve been here three years and nothing has happened. The First Order never found you. But I did…”

He stopped, feeling too much to be able continue. While asking her to go with him stemmed from multiple reasons, the biggest at this particular moment was an all-encompassing fear she would be discovered before he was able to return. Poe was not stupid — coming back to her would take weeks, possibly  _months_ , maybe even a year or more. It wasn’t just that he had to get to Kaladria, but he had to scout the base, then get to the General, help move the rest of the Resistance forces to the new base, get the facilities set up, more than likely train new pilots while doing patrols … The longer he thought about it the more the reality set in — if he left without Jayah, he truly did not know when he would see her again.

With Kylo Ren now the leader of the First Order, the unpredictability of the organization would be at a frenzied high. With the Resistance scattered and attempting to gather forces, intel reports would be sparse at best — there would be no way to prepare for any attack, no way to protect themselves from a sudden discovery.

If the First Order became erratic and desperate to find them, they could possibly track Poe to Felucia VI. To Jayah…

Jayah curled her fingers around his and gave his hand a squeeze, pulling him from his tumbling thoughts and worries. When he looked up at her, she smiled ruefully. “You have a mission, Poe. A duty to the Resistance. That is more important,” she said softly.

_But it wasn’t. It wasn’t at all._

Before he could tell her such, she squeezed his hand again and started down the ladder, “It’s getting dark. We should fire her up, see if she hovers.” 

Poe sighed, watching her disappear and then pull the ladder back. He hung his head, wondering if he could have said something different,  _done_ something to get her to realize — yes his mission was important, he knew that. But she had to know what she meant to him. She was important too. And she was part of his mission as well — he was meant to bring her home to the Resistance, bring her home with him.

The A-Wing did in fact start up, as well as hover. Poe should have felt some kind of accomplishment. And he did, in a way. But it also felt bittersweet. Looking down at Jayah from the cockpit, he could see it in her face as well.

It was twilight, a glowy purple and dark blue wrapping around them, as they made the trek back to the hut. There was tension between them, but nothing like it was the night before, when Poe thought he had ruined everything with her. Now, he felt a complete loss of a different kind.

Even BB-8 spoke very little — Poe was sure the little droid had begun to realize as well that this, truly, would be their last night on Felucia … with Jayah.

It felt strange, Poe thought. They talked, almost as if nothing was going to occur, and had dinner as they had been doing the last few nights. While Jayah moved about, cleaning up, Poe sat at the table, head down and eyes on the wooden surface where his fingers picked at a random spot. He felt guilt, sadness, regret…

“Hell of a way to spend your last night here, moping in a chair,” Jayah commented softly, a bit of a light tone to her voice.

Poe looked up, surprised to find her standing before him, leaning a hip against the table. He swallowed hard and sighed, turning his eyes back to the spot he picked at, “I’m sorry, I just … I don’t feel right about this.”

He didn’t know if he was pushing too much by saying it again, but his heart told him he couldn’t leave it; he had to say it. Had to try to make her see.

She drew in a deep breath and moved closer, gently sitting in his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. He once again pulled his eyes from the table and couldn’t stop himself from slipping his arms around her and pulling her close, burying his face into her neck.

Jayah held him tightly, a hand raking through his hair and coaxing him to release the tension he was holding. Poe couldn’t understand it. She seemed so calm while he felt like he was losing his mind. Finally, after a few moments, she pulled back and gently tugged his curls to make him look up at her. She didn’t say anything as her beautiful blue eyes moved over his face, as if she was memorizing him. She didn’t speak a word, but he could have sworn he heard her voice in his head.

_I’ll never forget you…_

Then suddenly she was leaning forward, mouth pressed against his in a languid kiss that he felt through his entire body. Poe pushed forward, holding her tightly, and demanding a deeper kiss, which Jayah gave him readily. 

_I won’t leave you here,_ he thought. _I can’t leave you here._

She pulled back slightly, the two of them still breathing each other’s air. “You have to,” she whispered in response, her lips brushing against his with each word. 

Poe’s hands moved up to cup her face and he kissed her again, this time more desperately. Jayah responded in earnest, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and clinging tightly to him. He moved suddenly and surely, hands moving down to grab her ass as he stood. She gasped against his mouth but wrapped her legs around his waist as he hitched her up and moved to the bed.

They moved together, shedding clothing and not speaking in words, only in gasps and pants and moans. Silent pleas for time to stop, or at least go slower so they would have more time. After they collapsed in a mess of sweat and limbs, Poe pulled Jayah closer again, clutching at her and burying his face against her neck once more. He felt at a loss, a hole already forming in his chest that he knew only Jayah would ever fill.

His eyes closed and he drew in a long, deep breath, filing the smell of her skin and hair away in his brain to never forget. Jayah sighed as well, her arms coming around him and fingers diving into his hair gently.

_We will see each other again,_  he heard her voice in his mind. _I know it._

Poe wanted to respond, wanted to declare his promise again to her, but he couldn’t find his voice. Instead, he only tightened his hold on her and let sleep take over. **  
**

When he opened his eyes again, Poe immediately became aware it was sometime before dawn. He didn’t think there was any particular reason he woke up — BB-8 was powered down in the corner, the fire was a dull glow, and Jayah’s deep breathing sounded next to him. Whatever jolted him out of sleep, it had now slipped out of reach. So Poe shifted slightly, pressing closer to Jayah and closed his eyes again, pushing a deep breath out.

He expected sleep to come back but it didn’t. Instead, his eyes slowly opened and focused on Jayah’s peaceful face. He started cataloguing her features — the long sweep of her eyelashes, her small round nose, her full lips… Something told him he needed to memorize it all, to not forget a single detail. She looked so beautiful to him; he couldn’t stand the thought he was about to leave her.

Poe had never been in love before. It felt like a stretch to say that, since he was in his 30s now, but he honestly thought it was the truth. Not honest-to-Stars true love — though he’d had his share of trysts in the past. And there were a few times when he was younger when he thought he had found love.

The first had been a girl on Yavin IV, who lived close to his parents’ ranch. They grew up together and before he left for academy, they spent nearly every day with one another. But when Poe finally left, he didn’t feel heartbroken. He hadn’t asked her to wait for him, either. They just kissed and wished each other luck, and that was that.

Then there was another pilot in academy who Poe bunked with; he had the greenest eyes Poe had ever seen. They’d flown a lot together, learned a lot together, but in the end they didn’t last. Once assignments came, they had hugged, shared one last look, and said they would see each other on the other side.

It wasn’t quite what Poe had always thought love would be or feel like.

He had watched his parents growing up and always knew  _that_  was true love — the way his mother would look at his father, a smile on her face that was never directed at anyone else. Or how his father would hold her and it was like they were two perfect puzzle pieces that fit together. Poe always felt such a deep happiness seeing his parents, how they loved one another. And when his mother died, he hoped he would find love like that one day; that he would hold out for it because it was worth everything.

He had never believed in love at first sight. He wasn’t sure that’s what he could say happened with Jayah. But maybe it was something that grew without him realizing.

When they first met, he admitted she was beautiful … and stubborn and had a mouth on her. But she had taken him and BB-8 in, she had pulled him from the wreckage of his X-Wing, and she had nursed him back to health. Poe had gotten to know Jayah through her actions more than her words — he knew now he was half in love with her before he even realized it.

This thought in the early morning, hours away from attempting to leave Felucia VI as well as leaving Jayah, hit Poe hard. He knew leaving her would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do; his mind continued to yell at him, even now, that he  _couldn’t_  leave her. But his begging had not swayed her, and he couldn’t take the haunted look in her eyes each time he had brought it up the night before. Poe knew she was strong and brave, and that she could do anything, but she would have to come to that conclusion on her own terms. 

Deep down, he knew how similar they were. Just as Jayah understood who Poe was, his mission, his determination; Poe understood Jayah’s grief, and ultimately her fears. She would have to wrestle her demons and leave when it was time for her. It would be unfair to  _make_  her do anything she wasn’t ready for.

It hurt, he admitted selfishly only to himself. **  
**

Poe tucked a strand of her rosy gold hair behind her ear and felt the heavy sadness of his thoughts. He knew one thing, he would keep his promise to her — he would come back for her. When the new planet was found, when the Resistance was safe and growing in its new home, Poe would come back for Jayah. He would not leave her alone.

But that was for later. He had her now, and he would take advantage of every single last second they were together.

Poe slipped his hand down her arm and along her side before resting it on her hip. He kissed her forehead and slowly stroked his hand over her hip, across her lower back, and then down over the curve of her backside. Jayah shifted slightly at the touch, slipping her leg in between both of his and pressing against him.

Poe shifted again, kissing her temple, down to her cheek, the corner of her mouth. Jayah drew in a deep breath and, almost as if she were teasing him, turned over, pressing her back into him. “What time is it?” her sleep-heavy voice asked.

Poe pressed his lips against her shoulder, moving his hand down to her stomach and encouraging her even closer. “Few hours before dawn,” he answered softly.

“Mmmm,” was the only reply he received, her arm laying over the top of his. Poe laced his fingers with hers. He felt she was already headed back into sleep, but he couldn’t stop himself — he pressed his lips to the curve of her shoulder again, moving their joined hands down her stomach and toward the apex of her thighs.

Her body moved slightly, as if she were restless and searching for something. Poe understood completely. He used their joined hands to part her thighs slightly and shifted closer, putting one of his knees between hers. With her open to him, he drug their joined fingers slowly down her center.

She drew in a sharp breath, pressing back into his chest and tightening her fingers around his. In response, he pressed his mouth against the point where her shoulder and neck met. He started to slowly work his fingers up and down, barely brushing her clit.

Jayah ground her ass into him again and he groaned softly as his teeth nipped her skin. A light gasp left her and her body moved, bending her other hand back to dive her fingers in his hair. Poe closed his eyes, feeling that same old skip of his heart when she did that, and his teeth once again pressed into her skin, his tongue following the action to soothe the sting. Something carnal in him wanted to mark her, over and over, in places where she could see and remember him.

Her breathing picked up and she turned her head back toward him, wetting her lips as she inclined her mouth to him, seeking. He wouldn’t make her ask — he had realized several days ago he would give her whatever she wanted and more. So he raised his head from her shoulder and covered her mouth with his. Her lips were soft, but demanding and he matched her insistence, parting her lips with his tongue.

Jayah’s fingers curled in his hair and Poe groaned deep in his throat, bringing his fingers up to circle and play with her clit in earnest now. She whimpered, slipping her tongue past his lips and tugging him closer as she worked toward her climax.

Poe wanted to drag it out, to pull back and watch her soft skin flush with her arousal, but rational thought was gone as his body responded to hers of its own accord. He shifted their bodies somewhat, allowing his free arm to slip around her and his hand to settle over her breast. She mewled at the action, back arching. Her movements against him were getting him hard, and quickly, but he pushed aside his own longing.

He wanted this to be about her pleasure; to have her entire body shaking and trembling, his hand between her legs drenched, her voice panting and begging him. It was crude, but focusing on this was better than the reality facing them in a few hours.

“Poe,” she breathed against his mouth and something in him nearly broke.

His fingers continued their patterns at her center, feeling her grow wetter with each circle and pass. A keening, begging noise left Jayah and Poe fit his mouth over hers once more to take it from her. Her fingers curled in his hair and her back arched; she was so close, her entire body going taut against him.

Poe pulled his mouth back, sucking her bottom lip sweetly. His hand groped her breast and his fingers slipped and slid over her clit. He dropped his lips to mumble against her jaw and neck, moving toward her ear, “You want to let go for me, sweetheart, don’t you?” he asked — no, he  _growled_  the words in her ear, not entirely recognizing his voice.

Jayah whimpered and nodded, attempting to turn her head more to look at him. He obliged her, lifting his head to meet her gaze — her beautiful blue eyes were wide and captivating, her soft pink mouth parted and panting breaths leaving her.

“Ask me for it,” he demanded.

Her fingers tightened against his hand playing her clit, but could only huff out a deep breath. A smirk curled his lips and he slowed the circles his fingers had been making. She whined again, a desperate sound as she pouted.

“Poe, please. Please, I need to…,” Jayah’s voice ended in a groan that Poe felt tremble through her.

Her back arched again and he pressed his mouth against her shoulder, scraping her skin with his teeth. She moaned, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. The sight had Poe clenching his jaw, his hips jerking against her. He moved his mouth back up to her ear, breathing into it and feeling her shiver.

“What do you need, sweetheart?” he asked, his fingers almost coming to a complete stop between her thighs.

Jayah whined again, “Kriffing stars, Poe, don’t stop. Oh please don’t stop,” she begged, flushed and breathless.

He was hopeless; he immediately began circling her clit again, not holding back and pushing her toward the edge rapidly. As she came, her back bowed and her fingers tightened in his hair. A long, high-pitched gasp left her and Poe pressed his lips to her neck, sucking and biting as his hand continued to ride her through the climax. She finally had to grab his wrist, silently pleading him to stop, before she turned her head and kissed him hard.

When she fell back, pulling in a deep breath, Poe drew his arms from her which earned him a whimper. “Shhhh,” he said against her lips, taking a hold of her hips and adjusting them both so she was laying flat on her back and he hovering over her.

He gave her another kiss, relishing in the soft moan she gave him and then started kissing down her neck, chest, over the soft curve of her tummy. Once he kissed just under her belly button, Jayah attempted to sit up quickly, “Poe, wait…”

“Shhh,” he said again, moving up and using his body to press her back down in the bed as he kissed her. “Trust me?”

“Always,” she said instantly, arms wrapping around him.

He hummed against her mouth and didn’t allow her to trap him in another kiss. Instead, Poe started his path back down her body, leaving more wet, open-mouthed kisses in his wake. His eyes glanced up to watch her as he gently bit her hip, smiling as her back arched gently and she groaned. He curled his fingers around her thighs and coaxed them open as he shifted and moved in between them. He breathed against her, fingers massaging her skin, causing her to sigh his name.

Poe found himself sighing as well, pressing his lips against the inside of her thigh, then higher. When he reached her center, he paused a moment, eyes flicking to catch Jayah’s watching him. She wet her lips then pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, a mix of want and anticipation on her face.

His hands had to gently push her thighs apart as he dragged his tongue up her center. She tasted so sweet, he groaned against her. A shudder rippled through her and he felt it even between her legs.

“P-Poe,” Jayah’s voice stuttered out.

He had no more control; he really did try. But she was too sweet, her skin soft and enticing, and the begging little whimpers leaving her mouth had him losing all semblance of rational thought. Poe felt a huff of a laugh leave him as he moved and nipped her other thigh he had neglected earlier.

“What is it?” Jayah asked breathlessly, lifting up to look at him as her fingers carded through his hair.

“It’s dirty,” he admitted, smirking up at her.

The look on her face was as wanton as he felt, her lips curled in a sinful smile as well. “I’m all ears, Commander.”

Poe licked his lips, eyes moving from her face and down her body, “I really have been wanting to taste you for so long.”

He watched her long enough to see her breath hitch and then he ducked his head down again, lapping at her in slow, languid strokes. Each time his tongue dragged over her clit, Jayah’s body shuddered deeply.

“Stop teasing,” she demanded of him suddenly,  _her_  voice nearly growling now.

Well that just made him want to tease her all the more. “You didn’t ask nicely,” he rumbled against her thigh, nipping her with his teeth and causing her to shift restlessly and try to pull away.

“No, I don’t think so, sweetheart,” Poe chuckled lowly, grabbing her calf as she whined and tried to turn the tables. She wasn’t going to get her way just yet.

He pulled her back down the bed a little, and she huffed, needy and desperate. His hand gently skimmed up one leg lovingly as he dipped down to kiss her thigh. “Shhh,” he purred against her skin. “I’m going to get you there, Jayah. I promise.”  

Poe didn’t move until Jayah swallowed hard and nodded, showing him she understood. He kept his eyes on her, watching her watch him as he shifted and readjusted himself to get comfortable between her legs. She swallowed hard again, her chest heaving in a big breath as he leaned in and once again moved his tongue up the length of her center. A shuddering breath passed her lips and she fell back into the bed, finally giving in to him.

He hummed his appreciation of her surrender, fingers gently massaging her thigh as he held her open. His mouth fit over her completely now, licking and sucking at her slowly. He wanted to take his time, to taste so much of her that he would remember it long after he was gone.

Her body arched and her breath was in pants after a few minutes. Poe moved a hand up, pressing down on her hips and holding her in place as his mouth worked her. As she whined and wiggled against him, his other hand came and teased at her entrance with one finger.

Jayah huffed out a breath and once again was up on her elbows, looking down at him. Her face was flushed and beautiful, her chest heaving with her labored breaths. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and worried it.

“Poe…” her sweet voice begged. “I need … please, I  _need_  you.”

He wanted to give into her.  _Stars,_  how he wanted to give in. Poe’s blood was roaring in his ears and everything in his body wanted to move up, cover her with his frame, and push deep inside her. He wanted to fill her completely, feel her all around him.

But first things first…

Poe shifted, taking his mouth off her center for a moment, eyes on her as he slipped two fingers inside her easily. The rush of air from her lips carried both relief and frustration; a feeling he understood. It felt amazing, but wasn’t quite scratching the itch. Still, he moved slowly, pulling his fingers out and pushing back in, hearing the absolutely slick, wet sounds of the movement. Jayah’s body trembled, telling him how close she was.

That was when he leaned forward once more, taking her clit between his lips and playing with it gently. Pride flowed hot in his veins as Jayah’s back arched and she nearly sobbed, a hand diving into his hair wildly. When her body came back to the bed, her hips canted up, silently pleading for more.

This, Poe gave readily. He quickened the pace of his fingers, mouth sucking at her and tongue occasionally darting out to taste the wetness he brought forth from her.

In a flash, Jayah’s peak hit, causing her body to bow and all sound from her to come to a halt. Poe didn’t stop his hand from moving, but he did bring his head up to watch her — watch as her breath left her, watch as her mouth fell open and her eyes screwed shut, watch as her hips dug down against him, chasing the end of the pleasure.

She drenched his hand, just as the primal need in him had wanted, and as she collapsed back (a blissed-out smile curling her gorgeous lips), Poe pulled back slowly. He clenched his jaw, holding back a groan as he watched Jayah follow his movements with hooded eyes. With some effort, she sat up as he brought his hand up to his mouth, tasting her again.

Jayah groaned, grabbing his shoulders and tugging him toward her. It took them a second to move and adjust, but Poe felt his heart thud heavily against his chest as she positioned herself in his lap. Her slender but strong arms came around his shoulders, holding him close as if she had not a chance to do so in ages rather than just a few moments.

“Poe, I…” she started, her voice shaky in his ear.

Suddenly, his chest clenched with emotion, pushing back the carnal needs roaring in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer. One hand cradled the back of her head while the other traced up and down the delicate line of her spine.

“Shhh,” he soothed her, kissing the skin at her shoulder. “I know.”

And he did. She didn’t have to say it. He didn’t either.

Jayah pulled back and cupped his face, her fingers tracing along invisible lines. Poe did what he could to keep still, as if he were afraid of scaring her for some unfathomable reason. She then leaned forward and kissed him, heavily and needy. His arms tightened and he returned the kiss, opening her mouth under his.

Then he was sliding inside of her, a warm relief flooding his veins as he groaned at the feeling of her warmth around his cock. She rocked against him and when he found the rhythm she set, he complimented her movements with his own. Her fingers were tight in his hair, his name on her lips as she came again but he wasn’t ready to stop, wasn’t ready for it all to end.

Jayah was loose-limbed in his arms, looking sated and a little more than wrecked. Poe cradled the back of her head with one hand while his other gripped her ass, moving her hips to rock against him once more. She moaned and lifted her head to kiss him lazily, fingers once again finding a home in his dark hair.

“Please don’t stop,” Jayah mumbled, her voice low as it skirted across his lips. “Stars, you feel so good.”

Her head tipped back with a soft cry as he hit a sweet spot deep inside her. Poe nudged his lips up the column of her exposed neck, feeling himself tighten, close to release, “I love how you feel. You’re perfect, Jayah,” he said, pressing the words against her skin.

He pushed her into another release, her fingers curling in his hair and her chest pressing against his as she held him closely to her. Poe followed her soon after, face pressed against her neck, eyes shut as he groaned into her skin and his cock pulsed inside her.

For the longest time after, he could only hear Jayah breathing, the whisper of her fingers moving through his hair, the soft crackling of the last embers in the fire. He could smell her — sweat and sex and something that was all her and yet, some of him too. The two of them together.

Jayah swallowed hard and her chest hitched. Her arms around him tightened and Poe knew, because he felt it too.

This was a goodbye.


	19. Chapter 18: ... Of Stardust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH GOD THIS IS IT. I’m serious, I cried when I wrote it. I cried when I edited it. I’m still crying I can’t believe this thing I started three months ago is over.  
> …  
> OR IS IT?  
> I love you all so much. Thank you for sticking with me; for the reblogs; for the encouragement. You’re all amazing xoxo.

It was quiet, even though Jayah could hear her heart beat in time with Poe’s as he slept deeply, his limbs wrapped around her. **  
**

It should have felt right. It should have comforted her and lulled her back into some type of sleep similar to what he was getting. But it didn’t. Everything felt wrong, stifling…

She felt too big for her skin. Some strange feeling wanted her to get up and run five clicks in any direction just to do it. While her hut had brought her shelter, warmth, and some comfort during her exile, now it felt too small. It didn’t feel enough. Once Poe left with BB-8, it wouldn’t ever be enough.

Jayah huffed out a frustrated breath and shifted in Poe’s arms and turned, as gently as she could, to lie on her back. Her eyes stared at the soft shadows dancing across the ceiling above her while her mind oddly found itself focused on the weight of Poe’s arm around her middle.

Once dawn hit, he would move. He would wake up and she wouldn’t get to feel that weight again, that comfortable, secure feeling that he had her — he was protecting her.

Another frustrated sigh. She shifted once more. She was restless, looking for something that she knew deep down could not be found by laying wide awake in her bed. Jayah wet her lips and then made her decision.

Gently, she lifted Poe’s arm and was able to roll out of the bed without waking him. She dressed silently as she could, the whisper of the fabric moving over her skin the only new sounds other than Poe’s deep breathing. She slipped on her boots, her extra cover, and — looking back at Poe sleeping on the bed one last time — snagged his communicator on the table.

Outside felt better. Jayah pulled in a deep breath, using the cooler air to calm the sudden fiery feeling she couldn’t stop lighting in her veins.

Poe had kept saying it and she had tried her hardest to ignore it, especially in front of him. But now, in the quiet, last few moments before dawn broke, Jayah couldn’t deny it to herself.  _This felt wrong._  

She knew it was a practiced speech — the lives lost on that Resistance mission because of her justified her exile. She couldn’t and wouldn’t let that go. Never once had she not owned her punishment and guilt. But now, with the Resistance barely alive, the Republic gone, and the First Order waiting to fill the power void once and for all … everything changed.

Leia said she could use someone like Jayah; the Resistance could use her. That was still a hard pill to swallow. No one needed her.

 _Poe needed you,_  a voice sounded in her head, causing her to sigh heavily.

Poe Dameron didn’t need anyone. If anything, Jayah needed him; more than she was ready to admit. **  
**

But say Leia was right — say Jayah was needed and went back to the Resistance; what then? Leia obviously wanted her, and Poe too … but would anyone else? Would they hear the name Jayah Kryal and remember the Gold Squad? Would they whisper about her downfall, how she abandoned the mission, the Resistance … Leia?

Jayah sighed heavily and pressed her palms into her eyes. She couldn’t bare this. She had no idea what to do. She wanted to help, more than anything. She wanted to be of use again. And she wanted Poe. Three years alone and she thought she had accepted her fate. Ten days with a wayward pilot of the broken Resistance, and her entire mindset was changed.

Silent tears started crawling paths down her face as her mind warred with her heart.  _Go. Stay. Useless. Needed. Hated. Loved._  

Jayah swallowed hard and caved, pressing the button on the comm link. There was only one person who could settle her mind at the moment.

“Echo Base responding. Everything okay, Poe?” the familiar voice of the female comms officer came through.

“Sorry, it’s uh … Commander Kryal,” Jayah responded, cringing as she gave herself the title. “I wondered if the General was available?”

She felt ridiculous.

“Of course, Commander. One moment,” the response was polite; Jayah decided to take it.

The following few moments were almost agonizing for Jayah. Part of her wanted to just turn the comm link off and forget she had even reached out. But there were questions she needed answers to. Maybe Leia couldn’t give her the answers, but she could at least help Jayah air her grievances … hopefully.

“Jayah, is everything all right?” Leia’s soft voice came through — if it was nighttime where ever she was, she clearly had not been sleeping.

Jayah swallowed hard again, her voice catching. “Yes. I mean, that’s to say we are all fine and no one is hurt…”

She stopped because really she felt embarrassment flood through her.

“Jayah,” Leia started, a soft, warm chuckle coloring her voice. “What is on your mind?”

The younger woman pursed her lips, “How do I come back?” she finally said after a moment, her chest clenching as she voiced the the question. “How can I expect to come back after everything? After the loss, after my cowardice?”

“Easily,” the general said without thought, it seemed. “You hop in that A-Wing with Dameron and you fly back. Just like that.”

Jayah groaned, pressing the comm link to her head and gathering her sense before replying.

“It cannot be that simple,” she breathed into the comm. “Surely you must realize that Leia.”

“I do,” the older woman replied gently. “I understand the pain, the loss, the overwhelming need to run away. But nothing, and I mean nothing Jayah, is so much that you can never come back from it.”

Jayah sighed heavily, “So you’re politely telling me I can no longer hide behind my mistakes?”

Leia chuckled, “Jayah, I’ve told you from the start, you can let go anytime. Those of us here, we understand. None of us are perfect.”

The younger woman sniffled as the general continued. “Do you think everyone of my missions and orders have gone perfectly? Without casualty?”

“Deep down, you know the answers to all the questions, Jayah. We have all made mistakes, we have all lost. That is why we are banded together,” Leia finished.

And of course, it was exactly what Jayah needed to hear. She felt the tension in her ease some. But only some, for there was one question — one deep fear — that the commander wasn’t ready to ask. Yet, she felt compelled to anyway.

Jayah’s chin quiver from holding back her tears, “And what about Poe?”

To that, radio silence at first. Through the static, Jayah could feel as if Leia was confused by the question and then trying her best to formulate a response. **  
**

“What about him? Don’t tell me you’ve had a change of heart about our dear commander?”

There was mirth in her tone, a little teasing. Not enough to anger Jayah, but just the right amount to make the younger woman sigh in frustration.

“The change of heart is the problem,” she responded without thinking.

“Jayah, you know I don’t play games,” Leia said, suddenly more serious. “What about Poe?”

Jayah pursed her lips again, turning and staring at her darkened hut, feeling Poe in there sleeping, his dreams peaceful, his feelings for her obvious. She swallowed hard. **  
**

“What did you intend, when you sent him out here for me?” she finally asked.

She would be ready, Jayah told herself, for whatever Leia’s answer would be. She would be ready for the truth.

Instead, Leia’s laugh — clear as a bell — came through the comm link. It completely threw Jayah for a loop, startling the younger woman with its glee.

“If you’re asking me if I sent Poe with the thought of the two of you becoming  _close_ ,” she paused to emphasize the word, as if she knew exactly what had happened and shifted between Jayah and Poe, “the answer would be no, Jayah. I had no intent of him wooing you other than getting the two of you to Kaladria.”

Jayah let out a breath she did not realize she was holding in. For some reason, she felt the start of relief. But it wasn’t complete. It still didn’t answer her questions — why the dreams, why the pull to him? The need to be near him, to talk to him, to  _be_  with Poe? It all made no sense whatsoever to her … it was comforting, yet terrifying. 

“Why?” she finally asked the general, breaking the fragile silence that had been building. “Why send your best pilot from your dwindling numbers to a place that could kill him to find  _me_?! Knowing I would resist every step of the way?”

 _Why for me? I’m not worth it,_ her mind screamed at the end, but she did not have the courage to voice all her worries it seemed. The desperation that had been in her voice was enough to cause her shame. But she needed an answer — she needed to know. 

Again, Leia didn’t answer right away. But when she did, it startled Jayah. **  
**

“I sent Poe because I knew he was what you needed,” she started. “And in turn, I knew you would be what he needed.”

For a moment, everything in Jayah’s mind stood still. Leia said she had not sent Poe to “woo” her, and yet, she sent him because they needed each other? Her heart kick started and thudded heavily against her chest — a steady beat of “Yes. Yes. Yes, I need him.”

“You two have parallel stories,” Leia continued when Jayah could not find words. “Side by side through the last few years, never seeing one another, always passing each other by on paths never meant to meet. And yet, here we are. The two of you tangled together.”

“For a reason?” Jayah suddenly found herself asking. Her voice was choked with hope and emotion all rolled into disbelief.

“Of course,” the older woman replied simply. “We all cross paths for a reason, Jayah.”

To that, Jayah couldn’t help but scoff, “You honestly don’t believe that, do you? That we are so out of control of everything? That fate is all decided?”

“You mistake the true meaning of fate, my dear girl,” the general said. “We make our own choices. You didn’t have to like Poe. You didn’t have to help him or give him information. You didn’t have to offer your ship for him to get off that moon.”

A frustrated sigh passed Jayah’s lips, “You say all that as if I had a choice, Leia. Like I could stand by and watch him crash without helping. Or, or not helping him complete his mission when you’re all depending on him…”  _Or not fall in love with him_  — the thought skirted across her mind and before it could make it out, she choked on the words, fear rising up and taking hold. 

When the general answered her, it was as if she heard the unspoken words anyway.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Jayah. You  _did_  have a choice. Just as Poe had a choice. Those choices you both made brought you closer,” Leia told her gently.

The tears were back, clouding Jayah’s vision as she ducked her head down and ran a hand over her face.

“You have another choice now,” Leia continued. “Trust your heart.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Sleep would not leave Poe. It crawled over him and rested soundly through his body, his chest, his limbs. He rolled over at one point, knowing he needed to wake himself up but not finding the strength. Instead, he slipped back into slumber. **  
**

He dreamt of his mom, taking a hold of his hand and guiding him to her A-Wing. She lifted him easily into the cockpit, then gracefully climbed in herself — poised and agile, with a familiarity Poe hoped to have himself one day.

He dreamt of that first ride she had taken him on, the blast shield cocked to the side, her hands warm on his as she gave him his first instruction in flight. The wind slipping in and tousling his hair, carrying his laughter and delight away.

Poe knew from the countless times he had remembered this moment and dreamt it before, that his mother always spoke to him. The words had never been clear though. He never really dwelled on not ever understanding what it was she was saying — he imagined it always had been words of encouragement, or little hints and instruction on how to guide the ship.

But for some reason, now, in this dream, it was different. He could recognize it was different. Her soft voice was clearer than it had ever been before.

She spoke promises to him — to teach him all she knew, to help him through all his troubles, celebrate in all his victories. Shara Bey told her young son how she would always be with him, whenever he was in a cockpit, she was be right there in his heart, guiding his hands just as she did now.

“You’ll dazzle the galaxy, Poe,” she said with a bright smile, her fingers carding through his unruly hair. “They just won’t know what to do with you.”

But then something was changed. The scene shifted. Poe was no longer that little boy in the cockpit of the A-Wing. He was home, at the ranch on Yavin IV — the heated breeze flitting over his skin carrying with it all the sounds and scents that reminded him of his childhood and the things that made him happy. It has been so long since he had been home, he drunk in the scene before him like a parched man.

What tugged at his heart even more was looking out across the fields in front of his childhood home and seeing his mother walking along the edge of the crops. Poe suddenly felt like he couldn’t breath.

“Mom!”

At the sound of his voice, she turned her head, smiling and waving at him.

Poe’s heart felt too big for his body as he sprinted toward her without another thought. The distance felt like nothing and he barely skidded to a stop before he encircled his arms around her and pulled her close.

The laugh he remembered from his childhood echoed around him and through him as she wrapped her arms around him as well. Poe was taller than Shara now, which surprised him; his shoulders broader and his entire body seemingly just to take up more space than her.

She kept laughing and it made him tear up.  _This isn’t real,_  his brain kept trying to tell him.  _It isn’t real at all. She’s gone._

But she wasn’t gone. Shara Bey, his mother, was standing right in front of him. She pulled back and there were tears in her eyes.

“Well, let me look at you,” she said softly, taking a step back and running her eyes over him. For some reason, Poe was nervous, hoping he wouldn’t disappoint her.

“Stars, aren’t you handsome?” Shara laughed, cupping his cheek with one of her hands. “You look so much like your father. Took my breath away the first time I saw him too.”

“Mom,” Poe said, struggling to get the word out over the sob caught in his throat, “Wha — how?”

She smiled, that perfect smile he remembered from his childhood and embraced him again, “Because you needed me. You’re at a crossroads.”

He wasn’t sure what she meant by that. There had been so much happening, so many things he could have used her guidance on … not that he wasn’t grateful to be seeing her in his dreams now, but …

“Come on, Poe,” Shara said, breaking his thoughts as she pulled away and took his hand. “Take your mother for a walk.”

They strolled along the fields, much like they did when he was a child, but did not talk much. She seemed to be waiting him out as he processed and gathered his thoughts.

“How is this happening?” he finally asked quietly.

Shara squeezed his hand, “The Force willed it so.”

Poe pursed his lips, “But I’m … I’m not Force sensitive, Mom. I’ve never hit the tests, never seen things or have read people’s minds.”

She smiled up at him, a quirk of her lips, “Everyone is connected to the Force, Poe. You may not be Jedi material, but you are good, and kind, and strong. Do you think growing up next to that tree all those years wouldn’t have rubbed off on you?”

When she put it that way, it made sense. But still …

“But I’ve never been able to sense it,” he stopped, frustrated with his inability to explain or describe what he was thinking. “I’m not like Rey or Skywalker. I’m not even like Leia.”

Shara reached up and ran a hand through his hair, “You’re as stubborn as your father, too.” She whispered the accusation before she sighed, “And what of Jayah? You can sense her, yes?”

Again, Poe swallowed hard, “Yeah.”

“And you feel connected to her?”

He could only nod as his emotions swelled at just the thought of Jayah — her laugh, her eyes, her smile, the feel of her mouth against his, her body pressed into him…

Shara squeezed his hand, “Maybe you’re not a Jedi, my love, but you are strong with the Force. And it has connected you to her. Brought you to her, for a purpose.”

“To bring her back?” he asked timidly.

“Perhaps,” she answered gently. “But I think it’s more than that.”

Poe looked at his mother, his heart swelling, his head pounding. Suddenly, it all broke over him like water on a dam.

“I can’t leave her, Mom. I just can’t,” his voice choked out. “I know my duty is important, the Resistance needs me … but all I can think of is what danger she might come into if she stays.”

“You care so deeply. You get that from Kes, too,” Shara said softly.

Poe pulled them to a stop, turning and facing her, “I have a lot of things from you, too. Don’t I?” he added the last part almost as an afterthought.

Her smile was bright and shone like the sun. Her hand not holding his came up and once again cupped his face, “Of course you do, Poe. You have my hair, the shape of my nose. You fly like I do. You have my spirit.”

Her face seemed to fall the more she said and Poe squeezed her hand, “I’m proud to be your son. To be Dad’s son as well.”

Shara swallowed hard and shook her head, “We both left you a legacy you should not have to follow. You should have peace, son.” She paused and her hand came down to gently pick up her wedding ring which hung from his neck. “You should have happiness. You should not choose between love and duty.” **  
**

Poe sighed, something inside warning him their time was waning. “What would you do, Mom? If you were me, what would you do?” he asked, almost desperately.

Shara let the ring fall back against him and looked up at him with a rueful smile. “When we battled the Empire, I chose duty over you and at times, over your father. I wanted to make the galaxy better for you, Poe. It was in vain.”

She reached up, winding her arms around him and hugging him close to her, “Now, I would find a way. I wouldn’t have abandoned the fight, but I would have had more time with you, Poe. To see you grow, to see you fail and succeed. To see you become a great man.”

Poe wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight as he felt tears streak down his face, “I miss you so much.”

“I’m always with you, Poe. The Force keeps me close. All you have to do is close your eyes, and I’m there,” she breathed. Then she turned her face, kissing his cheek, “Do not leave her, Poe. Keep her close, keep her with you. Let her help you grow. Let her help you see rights and wrongs, failures and victories. Let her love you as you love her.”

When he opened his eyes, Poe’s heart clenched. Gone were the fields of Yavin IV, the dusky twilight, and the image of his mother. What remained was something altogether different — too big to hold, yet was settled right in his chest as his heart beat.

He turned, reaching for Jayah. But she was not there.

Quickly, Poe sat up and gazed around. BB-8 was still powered down at the foot of the bed. But that was the only thing that was the same. Panic started to rise in his throat as his eyes traveled. The hut was empty. Not just of Jayah, but of  _things_. 

Where she stored her dried meats, fruits, and other foods was empty, her water buckets gone. The extra clothes she had stacked in the corner gone. Anything personal to tie Jayah to this dwelling was no longer visible. 

“No,” Poe breathed, throwing off the covering and reaching for his fatigues.  _She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. She wouldn’t run or hide from me, not now,_  he thought desperately as he dressed and powered up BB-8 hastily. 

Where’s Jayah? The droid asked as Poe quickly gathered his things.

“I don’t know, buddy,” he replied, feeling frantic. “We gotta find her before we go, okay?”

BB-8 whirled in affirmation and was out the door before Poe had his blaster strapped to his thigh. Busting out of the hut behind the droid, he has no idea where to start and the heart ache crawling up his chest was almost too much and drained his focus.

 _She wouldn’t leave. She wouldn’t do that. Something’s wrong. I have to find her._  A steady stream of thought raced through his head as he tried to rationalize her absence.

They were running blindly — well at least Poe was, and he hoped that by following BB-8, the droid was tracking Jayah and they would stumble on her at any moment.

Something was tugging at Poe’s mind, however. That they were going the wrong way, that she wasn’t out there in the jungle. He couldn’t  _feel_  her out there. 

Poe slid to a stop in the dirt, turning back the opposite way, back toward the hut and then beyond that, to the A-Wing. **  
**

“She’s at the ship,” he breathed aloud, something in him bursting with agreement. “BB, she’s at the ship!” he called out, turning and making a break for it.

As they finally broke through the brush that hide the ship, Poe’s feet once again slid him to a halt. There, dangling off the ladder up to the cockpit, was Jayah. She was humming softly as she tossed a pack up into the seats and then cockily slid down the ladder.

When she landed on her feet, Poe’s heart thudded with the sound.  _Jayah was there. She hadn’t left him, hid away. She was waiting for him …_

He startled at the thought. “What are you doing?” he asked out loud as BB-8 let out a symphony of excited beeps and whirling questions.

At his voice, Jayah turned. She gazed at him for a long second as if seeing him for the first time, he thought. Then she smiled — no, it was a smirk. Playful and filled with trouble, he just knew it.

“Well it’s about time,” she quipped, picking up another bag and opening the storage hatch on the underside of the ship. “I thought you were going to sleep until midday, then we would be way behind.”

Poe’s mouth hung open. Was he still dreaming? Had his brain slipped from the fields of his parents’ ranch on Yavin IV to what he had  _hoped_  would come to pass on Felucia? That Jayah would go with him, willingingly, happily. It couldn’t be real…

During his complete disbelief, BB-8 had enough sense to ask the question churning in Poe’s mind.

Jayah looked down at the little droid and nodded, the smirk still curling her lips. “Yes,  _we_ ,” she answered. Then those blue eyes he fell so deeply for turned up to him. “We.” 

All the air rushed from Poe’s lungs. He had been prepared to fight for her, to plead, to lay out everything at her feet and beg her. But this … this he had not expected at all. **  
**

His silence and the stupid look on his face must have deflated her confidence a bit. He watched as she shifted on her feet and dropped her gaze as she crossed her arms, “I’m tired of hiding, Poe. I kept trying to convince myself, and was doing a pretty damn good job of it. But …”

Here Jayah stopped and brought her eyes back up to his. “But then you came in. And you messed all that up. And I just …”

Poe couldn’t let her finish. He just wasn’t that patient. He closed the space between them and pulled Jayah into his arms, kissing her swiftly. He poured everything into her as he crushed her to him — his fears, his wants, his care, his heart, his spirit. She clutched at the front of his jacket, mouth moving against his just as desperately.

 _Keep her close. Keep her with you,_  his mother had whispered. 

Poe smiled as he finally pulled himself from Jayah’s mouth, his heart feeling light. He was going to do just as his mother had said. **  
**

“Thank you,” Jayah whispered, her eyes closed as her forehead rested against Poe’s, her fingers still clutched around the front of his leather jacket.

He let out a soft laugh, his hands running up her spine and enjoying how she shivered from the touch, “Why are you thanking me? Jayah, I should thank you. For everything you’ve done, for everything you’ve given me, for coming with me …”

She swallowed hard and finally opened her eyes, tears gathered in the corners, “You saved me, Poe. I would have stayed here until the end, alone and afraid and heartbroken. But you changed that.”

He couldn’t believe she didn’t see that this was all her; he merely had been a spectator.

“Jayah,” Poe cupped her face. “You quite literally saved my life. Then you opened up to me, let me get to know you. You gave yourself to me.” He paused to kiss her again, because he had to. “You gave me part of soul back. Thank  _you_.”

Her tears slowly travelled down her face as she smiled up at him. He grinned back because she was so beautiful and his mother was right … he loved her. He didn’t want to be parted from her ever. And now, she was coming with him. Poe wouldn’t have to worry about her, wonder every night if she wasn’t sleeping either, if she was thinking of him, missing him as much as he missed her — he wouldn’t have to wake without her by his side. **  
**

Jayah sniffled and laughed as Poe wiped away her tears, “Now that we’ve both gone sappy and thanked each other for breathing…” She paused, licking her lips before she pressed back into him and kissed him deeply.

Poe was so happy he laughed against her mouth and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her from her feet as they kissed.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before BB-8 got a little impatient, nudging at the back of Poe’s leg, beeping and booping about how they needed to get going.

The two broke apart and Jayah laughed as Poe nuzzled his face into her neck, breathing deep, giddy with the feeling he wouldn’t have to lose the smell of her.

“Sorry, BB. You’re right. We need to get going,” Jayah said, gently pulling back from Poe.

“Yeah, we do,” he replied, grinning so brightly his face was starting to hurt.

He helped her finish loading their bags of supplies she had packed up as BB-8 loaded into the A-Wing and started it up. When they were finished and locked up the storage doors, Poe gestured to the ladder.

“Pilots first,” he said.

Jayah’s eyes went wide, “You’re … you’re going to let me fly?”

He nodded, stepping up and hugging her close, “You know where we’re going, and it is your ship. It’s only the right thing, to let a pilot fly her own ship.”

Her lower lip found its way between her teeth, her eyes looking at him seriously as if he may be tricking her. Then, she broke into a bright smile, letting out a squeal of delight before she pecked his lips again and turned to shimmy up the ladder.

Poe took a deep breath, turning back and surveying the jungle around him.

“Let’s go, Dameron!” Jayah’s voice called out, her joy obvious. “The stars are waiting.”

He smiled, “Yes, they are.”

**THE END**


End file.
